[Mr Lucky]

Tuktuk drivers and touts are an annoyance we all have to accept in Thailand but few can resist the occasional retort to the mindless chants of "Taxi!", "Where you go?", and "Sexy ladies!".

Since there are times when perhaps the heat gets to me and I've just got to smart-mouth some of these guys (never in a dark alley), I'm interested to hear some of the more hilarious things members have said to Patong's largest indigenous mosquitoes.

This topic came up over dinner with my wife when I was struck by an epiphany (which I hope to try out asap). This one plays on the Thai fear of ghosts in post-tsunami Patong.

When a tuktuk driver offers a ride, point at the empty rear seat and say, "Hey, you have three customers already!", and continue walking. Best at night....