Hi AM,
How's it going? Apparently not as well as would be hoped for.
I pretty much agree with AB's take on this one. But I would add that you made the mistake of making too many assumptions. You assumed that because you didn't have sex with Dee, that she made no claim on you. Wrong, she looks at you as her piece of business, since she did business with you one night recently.
You assumed that when she took off with her other friend, that she was looking for other business, and that therefore she had released any claim on you. Wrong. They like to flit around, flirt, to see and be seen, and feel even more happy to be strutting their stuff all over Safari when they think they have a nice piece of business already lined up for the night. A choice piece of business, I might add, since because she got away without providing sexual service to you on one occasion, then she would most likely try the same ploy again.
You assumed that because she left you with Jee, that she was trying to set you up with her. Wrong. She left Jee, the junior member of her posse, to keep an eye on you and entertain you, so that some other girl wouldn't take her business.
You assumed that Jee hesitated to go with you because she was shy. Very wrong, bordering on stupid(Sorry, don't mean to be insulting, but don't know how else to put it). Think about it. She is a BG(or FL). You are a nice guy, and a great catch. She is not a BG because it is good for her health. She wants some business. She knew her job was to babysit you, not to filch you from her senior friend.
You assumed that when Dee asked you if you wanted to take Jee home that she gave you her approval. Wrong again, although that was a mistake that most guys probably would make, myself included, since, at that point she didn't seem to object. But, in retrospect, considering what followed, you were clearly wrong in your assumption that she had intended to set you up with Jee.
Jee was afraid to go with you because she knew that there was a very good chance that to do so would have potentially resulted in serious repercussions from Dee when next their paths crossed. She was afraid to take that risk. But if you had pulled Jee out of Safari at that point, there is a chance that it may have all blown over in a day or two. That later she could tell Dee she was sorry, and do something for her to make it up to her.
But, as has been pointed out by others, your biggest mistake was that instead of grabbing the girl and leaving at that point, you went up to Safari and put the whole situation on public display for a lot of drunken, and potentially dangerous, hardened BGs to sort out. By doing so, you pretty much fed Jee, the inexperienced girl, to the lions. Approaching Dee, and touching her, was tantamount to rubbing salt in a fresh wound.
So, what could you have done different? At any point in time, including after you talked with the BM on the phone, you could have grabbed the girl by the arm, and said, "We're leaving right now. You're coming with me." In most cases, the girl would go with you, unless she didn't like you, which is clearly not the case here. By doing so, I think it helps the girl's position, too, because you are being active and she is being passive. It puts the onus on you, and lessens her responsiblity for what happened.
If she resists your assertive move to pull her out of there, then you just have to let it go, and leave. Then she has upheld her honor of not stealing her friend's buisness, and you have made it clear that you do not want to go with Dee. A night or two later, after you have made it very clear that Dee has no chance with you, then maybe you would be able to move in on Jee without creating such a ruckus. Maybe not.
Moral of the story: 1) Try not to make assumptions when dealing with BGs. Try to make your position as clear as possible from the getgo.
2) When you meet a girl for the first time, and you know you want to be with her, it is always best to pull her out of the bar, or disco, etc., ASAP, before someone or something intervenes and complicates the situation. On any given night out in Patong, you never know what is going to happen next. After you get to know a girl, and have established yourself with her, there will be lots of nights for hanging at the bars and discos with her friends.
3) Third, and perhaps most important of all, NEVER, NEVER leave your fate in the hands of a bunch of drunken BGs to sort it out for you!!!
Don't feel too bad about it. I suspect that most all of us have had this sort of thing happen at one time or another. Who can understand the crazy minds of drunk BGs?
Best of luck in the future,
JayBee
