A real sweet seeming girl who I’ve known for 3 months, rings me up the other night, “I leave Samui tomorrow. I stay your house tonight.”
“Fine” I said.
She turns up, and we get chatting. She asks me my birthday, I tell her. “Me same day you!” she says.
“Yer whatever” I reply, thinking she is just fooling around, “No, sure, look my passport” she says taking the document from her bag. True to her word, we share the same birthday, but now here’s me thinking it’s a little unusual for a bargirl to have a passport, and I start flipping through it. In the last few months I see she had gathered stamps from Myamer, Cambodia, Malaysia, Hong Kong and Laos! “You never told me you traveled about so much” I say causally, despite thinking what the fcuk!
“Well me sell somethings,” she says and opens up her backpack to revel 10,000 friggn pills!!!
“Holy Sh_t!” I exclaim, wondering do I kick her out right away, or do stay cool – with one eye open until the morning?
“Oh don’t worry,” she laughs upon noticing the blood has drained from my cheeks and turned as white as a Germans gonads.
‘Don’t worry my ar_e!’ is thinking me with visions of the life sentence in the Bangkok Hilton flashing through my brain.
“You want buy?” she say as innocently as someone selling tick-tacs.
“Ah, no thanks,” I say, “Not really my thing.”
“That vee-ee good answer!” she says with a big, satisfied smile.
“Well you ain’t much of a sales person then,” I mumble.
“No,” she says, “I work police.”
“You friggen what!?”
“I work police. They no give me problem, it okay.”
So now I’m real happy for her, she’s got the green light to deal, it’s a cute arrangement, but I’m wondering how the hell it will help me any if a drug squad comes bursting through my front door.
“Police no problem,” she says again, “have problem only big man sell.”
“Huh?”
“Him want kill me, because now I work police. That why I not sleep my room, come stay you”.
“Who wants to kill you?”
“Big man him sell drug. Him shoot man dead before, him look me.” By now I’m kind of feeling a little put off by the whole situation.
“Well why don’t you go stay with the police then?” I suggest whole heartedly.
“No! Him too many man watch police. I go police, him look me for sure. Better I say you.”
“I see,” I said, racking my brains for another way to get rid of her, but then she says, “I leave Samui tomorrow. I want say goodbye some friend, I take motorbike you. Come back few hour.”
“Good Idea!” I say enthusiastically without thinking it though. Overjoyed that she had volunteering to motor away, I press the cold keys into her palm and I open the front door for her. I keep my ears on the bike until it fades into the distance, then I close my door and flop onto the couch, feeling rather frazzled, but glad to be alone. Then all of a sudden it dawns on me, I have a sickly feeling and I think “Oh fcuk!!!” She’s left her bag will 10,000 fcuking pills sitting on my bed!!! So I start getting real paranoid; I’m thinking is this a set up or what? I’m thinking any second now there will blue lights flashing though my windows and big dudes with guns busting into my room, and what am I gonna say, “Oh sorry officer, it ain’t my stuff. Some ****** just left it here and trotted off, but she said you lot wouldn’t mind.”
I’m also thinking that Mr Big Man Drug dealer is gonna knock on my door, and he’s gonna be rather pi_ssed to think it’s me cutting into his turf – and I haven’t even got a beer in the fridge to offer him!
Then I’m thinking, do I ring the police? Do I call them up and tell them the story? Do I just come-clean? Then I’m thinking, ‘come-clean?’ I haven’t even done anything! But somehow I’ve suddenly got a rather nervous and guilty disposition, and maybe they would mistake that for true guilt?
In the end I decide to do nothing, but just sit there looking at the bag on my bed, wishing for it go away. I’m thinking do I toss it out? But I can’t even bring myself to touch the stuff. I sat there five frigging hours, then there’s a knock on the door. I was tempted to play dead, but then I thought, 'Okay, here goes…' and I open up. “Hello tirak” smiles my sweet, innocent, little darling.
“Are you alone?” I ask.
“Me hope so!”
“Me too!”
“Me sleep now. Me go morning,” she says, and out she goes like a light.
No way I was nodding off! I kept listening to all the motorbikes in the distance getting louder and louder, and I breathed a sight of relief as each one faded again.
The sun came up, and then she wakes up. “You look same old man” she says.
“No kidding!”
She dolls herself up and say, “I leave Samui now, not come back long time.”
“I’ll miss you,” I say despondantly. She gives me a hug and then she’s gone.