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Hey Mr. F, thanks for getting us off to a good start. I looked at this topic when it was first posted and thought 'hmm, big question that' and left it to someone else to kick us off.
A few early thoughts from me (only had one coffee yet)
You can't consider the concept of face in isolation, it must be coupled with caste and \ or social standing. And I also think that Buddhism as understood and practised in Thailand has a part to play in understanding it.
I think our western culture rejects hierarchy, our royal family (UK) are a joke, no more than a tourist attraction, and our MPs are regularly hounded out of office by newspapers. We tend not to put people on pedestals. When the traffic cops stop us we will think nothing of telling them to get a proper job, we would not dream of paying them to look the other way. The power structure here is fairly level, though of course it has the odd bump.
Thai society is more like a pyramid, with those on the bottom accepting their position and looking down on those who they can; we have a saying which covers it nicely: shit rolls downhill.
Buddhism perpetuates this: 'the hair on my head is lower than the soles of your feet'. Thais are taught from day one that some are higher \ of better standing \ are more important than others. Look around, even here on this board, and you will see mention of 'heads of family' or 'village elders'. Hierarchy exists in all parts of Thai life.
It seems to be implicitly understood from very early on that you must always respect your 'betters' and that your reward for this sort of behaviour will be that you are given respect yourself. Of course, like any concept it is twisted to fit the circumstances.
Maybe part of our problem with it is that we don't fit into the structure. We are not poor, we are clearly well travelled and reasonably worldly wise, and yet we openly consort with the 'fallen' women from the lower orders. Those of us who go and live in the villages must seem strange indeed.
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