Hi,
I have just finished reading an excellent posting from JayBee about what it feels like when you return home from LOS.
It's strange how nearly all of us follow the same pattern with our feelings and emotions.
Even though I wouldnt swap my experiences for anything, sometimes a little part of me wonders if Thailand has 'fcuked me up' for 'normal life' (whatever that is supposed to be).
A long time ago I stopped telling people about Thailand because you could tell they didnt understand and I was beginning to bore people with it.
Some of the guys I work with (a really great set of people) always say how they would love to go to Thailand etc but one of them has never even been abroad!!
Sometimes I think my head may be in less turmoil if I had never been. I would have a 'normal' job with a 'normal' girlfriend, probably be married with a mortgage and kids, and then I would just have to accept that that was my lot. Do I want a life like that? NO FCUKING WAY!
Some of the people I know look so worn out with the drudgery of life that I know I will NEVER be in their position. I dont think I am any better than them, but I dont want a life like theirs.
There is a big wide world out there with lots to see and do, and it is criminal in this day and age, with travel being so easy, that people dont do more with their lives.
As for girlfriends in the UK, then I guess I am very lucky. After I came back from LOS for the first time (over 3 years ago) I have NEVER even tried to chat up a girl. I cant be fcuking bothered. I am really not interested in all the shit you have to go through just to end up shagging the skanky mutts, so I dont even bother. I dont want kids and I dont want to be married, so thats that
Where I am lucky is that I still see a girl who I used to live with. We only see each other 3 or 4 times a month. She knows EVERYTHING I have been up to in LOS (ladyboys, sexual diseases, the LOT !) and we still end up in the sack
and she definately doesnt want a relationship with me again
It probably took me over 2 years to really get straight in my head, things about Thailand. I now treat it as Adult Disneyland. I dont want to 'fall in love' with a Thai because I dont want children and to be married, so it is easy for me.
I go on holiday, meet some great people, and end up with some of the best times I have ever had in my life. Do I want it full time? I dont think so. Not for me. It would probably change my view on the place. I already see a lot more of the 'real' way that thailand is, than the first timers, and if I really really got to know Thailand well it would spoil it.
A couple of holidays a year gives me something to look forward to. Coming back home and doing things is also very important. I think you MUST try and lead a 'normal' life back home. If you think about LOS too much, then it will eat away at you all the time.
I love to read other peoples posts and opinions. There are things that have been said here which have really helped me to get some shit straight in my head. You guys are a good laugh and it is nothing but fun when we get together. I think xmas is going to be an incredible event this year. I must start saving money now!
For a new liver......