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Originally Posted by visa2003
I was wondering if some of the more experienced BMs could help me out on a problem I am having with a BG.
On my last tour, I spent 6 weeks with the same BG and we got on really well, but in no way did I think that I was in love or that I wanted to start a long-term relationship with her. Now that I am home, she rings and sends me SMS messages about how much she misses me. It did not take long for the request for money to come through and I told her, in no uncertain terms, that it was not going to happen. After 3 such explanations, she still sends me messages about how much she loves and misses me.
She said, when I met her, that she had only been in the game for 3 months (which did not really mean anything to me) and had never had many relationships of any kind.
The problem I have, is that I feel a bit guilty for giving her a taste of the good life, such as hotels, aircon, airplane travel and basically anything she wanted, and now she has to go back to her tiny, hot room and work in a bar.
I know that I do not owe her anything, as she got paid for every day that she was with me, but that does not stop me from FEELING that I owe her some thing.
How do you get over this?
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When you go back to LOS, do you want to link up with her again or not ? If not, then don't worry too much, but do the decent thing and tell her so, as K2 suggests.
If on the other hand you want to meet her again next time over there, then I suggest you maintain your stance with regards to sending money, i.e. "No" but look after her again, just like you have done on your recent visit. You have tried to look at it from her side I see but instead of thinking that you've spoiled her, look at it more that you have opened hers eyes a bit more to what goes on. Of course having seen amounts of money that she has probably only dreamed of before, she likes what she sees and wants more.
I think it's now down to you how you want this to progress if at all. By the sound of it, she would very much welcome seeing you again and if you are comfortable with her, then why not ?? Yes, she's almost certainly in it just for the money and will probably do anything to get it, but there's also plenty of fun to be had if you lay down the ground rules and stick to them. One rule being "don't fall in love" as this would change everything !!
Bottom line, she's getting money, you're having fun so why worry too much ?? Keep your level head and you'll have more fun trips to LOS in the future.
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Remember though, if she's now determined to ensnare a farang husband, whilst it may not be you, it may be someone else and you will find yourself in a situation that Talbotman did recently. If, like he, you're not looking for a lifetime partner, then just move on to the next one.
Good luck