[JayBee]

Hi Marc,
Read your agenda on another thread. Sounds perfect!!

There are 2 basic approaches to your situation. 1) Honesty is the Best Policy. The hard line - tell her straight out what's up, you want to be with her, but you needed a few days to unwind. She doesn't have a lock on you. If she asks about BGs, tell her you banged a few, or simply say in an authoritative tone, "Don't Ask!!" which tells her who is wearing the pants,and let's her draw the obvious conclusion, but also let's her know the topic is not open for discussion. How she reacts will tell you a lot about her. Incidentally, I picked up that line from a TG. They know the line and what it means. But say it with a smile.

Second approach- 2) What she doesn't know doesn't hurt her. This approach is often the more favored approach in U.S. If you tell American women the total upfront truth, they think you're a mean bastard. Americans don't appreciate bluntness, it borders on rudeness. If you are caught in a lie, you can always be a mean bastard later! Or even a nice guy, "Honey, I was just trying to spare your feelings. It was just a guy thing. Just sex. We have more than that." This approach involves concocting a story or figuring out how to disguise the location of your call, hide your passport, etc.

I think that honesty is a more simple and effective approach w/ a TG.

However there is a 3rd way : The Middle Road - You call her just before you leave. When you get to BKK, you go out and bang some BGs the first day/night. The second day you call her, tell her you are in Bangkok, you decided to leave a day early, and explain away the missing day by saying you were jet-lagged, fell asleep, lost track of time when you arrived. Not entirely a lie because you will be jet-lagged. Or you can say it was such a rush to get to the plane(you overslept, forgot to charge your phone, had to visit your mother, last minute work crisis, etc.), that you didn't have a chance to call her the last day you were in NY, which could also explain the missing day. Then you say, "Baby, I'm dying to see you. How soon can you get here?" w/ genuine enthusiasm. It still probably takes her a day or two to get there, since she has her plans made, her tickets bought. You get your 3 days of fun. She gets the explanation that should keep her happy. If she grills you about BGs, say whatever you like, or change the topic or revert to "Don't ask" approach. "All I could think about was you, let's talk about us, not other girls" is another good line cause I'm sure you will think about her while you are banging all those BGs, therefore not a lie.

In America, honesty isn't always appreciated. Sometimes it's a matter of "Don't ask, don't tell." You know that one, Marc. Sometimes it is a matter of the art of the little white lie, because in many cases a white lie is considered more appropriate than the truth. The white lie is much different from the BIG LIE.

In any case, the bottom line is that when you see her, you have a nice gift for her, you immediately take her out on the town, and treat her like a princess, and get her a little loaded. At that point is if she would rather disect explanations, check passports, and make pouty "you done me wrong" faces while she whines about your behavior, you inform her, "Sorry, Girl, you're not who I thought you were." And move on to the next one.

But you gotta admit, honesty sure is simpler. Saves a lot of complicated thinking. Is it worth it just to try and spare her feelings?