[DREW]

I've learned many things from my trips and I started thinkng about what I have learned in my time in LOS and other parts of ASIA.

General things at first and then more specific to life in general. How I viewed things when I first landed on a cheap BA flight (courtesy of my sister) in Bangkok in 1985 and thought that I really did look like a handsome man- how else would all these stunning women want to discuss their marital status with me and offer me an insite into the ways of love in ASIA- then over time how you understand more about ASIAN customs- 'face'- ledgends-culture and how your attitudes change over time and your experiences grow and you meet people who have been here even longer than you have-

I started thinking about all the crazy, lazy, hazy days spent in the sun and then the barmy night time partying hard at night, the hang overs, the hanger ons, the misfits, the smiles, the friends- new and old- the ones here and the ones who have moved on- the laughter and sadness, life and all it had thrown at me and I started thinking about what had I learnt- really learned that I would not have learned if I had taken my vacation in France, Spain, Italy, Sweeden, England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, the US- what was it about this place and these people- and what had it taught me and what had I taken back with me- how had I changed over the years.

So taking in the sun on Lame Sing beach with a nice cold Singha one day I wrote the following;

I've learned that you can always find more money- but never more time

I have learned a whole new meaning for 'love you long time' and 'oh my Buddha'

I have learned that no matter how bad your thoughts you will never be worse than Dirty Mike

Ive learned that 14 nights is too long to spend on a cruise ship

I've learned that some of my worse decisions were made when I was angry

I've learned that the older I get the less attention I get

I have learned that Phuket (if you are Burmese) is not much dis-similar from the old wild west- with a good old fashioned card game at the end of a hard days work - then a gun/knife fight at the OK Corral (Phuket Town) before a body or 2 are found on Monday morning- Boomtown Rats- I don't like Mondays

I have learned that the best way to lose a friend is to lend him money

I've learned you should never jump out of a second story window using only a sheet for a parachute

I've learned that you shouldn't speak unless you can improve on the silence

I have learned that there are few places better in Phuket than Nicke's MTB


I've learned that life hands you situations and all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and live moment to moment

I've learned that Thai Policemen are very friendly until you try to buy their gun

I have learned that if someone saves your life then you dont owe them yours- you have to get on with living it

I've learned to be generous with praise but cautious with promises

I've learned that to get the right answer you have to ask the right question

I have learned that getting in to the back of a mini bus with other expats on a visa run to Burma (myanmar) was not my wisest decision- especially when the driver proceeded to drive at 140 khm in the pouring rain round blind bends for 4 hours each way- and when asked to 'slow down' would touch his Buddha amulet anging from the rear view mirror- smile then laugh before hitting the accelerator- oh how we laughed!

I've learned that the best way to appreciate something is to be without it for a while

I've learned that you should make the money before you spend it

I've learned that Ladyboys are not the most trust wothy people in Thailand

I've learned that is you ask someone ''I wonder if you could please help me?'' you will almost always get a positive response

I've learned that girls tell you what you want to hear no matter what country you're in

I've learned that you never get rewarded for the things you intended to do

I've learned that it is not a good idea to praise England's footballing ability after they have just beaten Germany 5-1 in MacDonalds when it is full of German guests

I've learned that I don't make many mistakes with my mouth shut

I've learned that most people resist change but it is the only thing that brings progress

I've learned that hatred is like acid- it destroys the vessel that holds it

I have learned that you can do something in an instant that can stay with you for a life time

I've learned that it is better not to wait for a crisis to discover what's important in your life

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice

I've learned that is costs nothing to be nice

I've learned that mending the electrity supply up a bomboo pole in the pouring rain with rubber flip flops as Personal Protective Equipment, would probably not be allowed in the UK

I've have learned that it is best not to liase with English women from Dubai who are addicted to everything and anything and like to brake your toilet in the Banthai

I've learned that if you like yourself and who you are, then you'll probably like everyone you meet regardless of who they are

I've learned that you can't pay sombody to practice for you

I have learned that talking about ghosts before bedtime can only lead to trouble for the girl who believes the story and the hotel security guard who has to explain that you have not in fact turned into Damian from the Oman Movie

I've learned that everything sounds romantic in a foreign language no matter what is said

I've learned that although there may be reasons to be cynical, it never helps correct the situation

I've learned that it is best not to get involved with Russian girls at the end of the night in Soi Sansabi- no matter how good looking they are and how 'free their ''spiked' 'drinks may seem attractive or your walk home in the morning in only your under pants

I've learned that I am a juvernile product of the working class- no matter how big my house or car

Ive learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles 3 things; lost luggage; the clap; warm beer

I've learned that what you are thinking about- you are becoming

I have learned that it is good to have friends in the Thai Police who you can call on from time to time- and explain that you were only 'admiring the gun'

I have learned that there are some strange people in Patong and some strange rubber clad guests in some Hotels

I've learned that if you stay focused on yourself you are guaranteed to be miserable

I've learned that the 'tooth fairy' doesn't always come- sometimes he's broke and you have to find other ways to make money

I've learned that my best friends are usually the ones that get me in trouble

I've learned that you can't drink whiskey from a bottel of wine- very spiritual that one

I've learned you should never jump out of a second story window using only a sheet for a parachute- especially after you have done it before

I've learned that if you dont try new things you wont learn new things

I've learned that Vodka Redbull is not a good idea after 20 bottles of Singha and pizza

I have learned that Phuket (if you are Burmese) is not much dis-similar from the old wild west- with a good old fashioned cad game at the end of a hard days work - then a gun/knife fight at the OK Corral (Phuket Town) before a body or 2 are found on Monday morning- Boomtown Rats- I don't like Mondays
-again and again and again

I've learned that if you have never failed then you are probably not taking enough risks

I've learned that life's simple things are often the most satisfying

I've learned that it is best to always bring your own contraceptives- no offense but the Thais are too small (you can work this out for yourself but dont tell them)

I've learned that there is nothing you can teach yourself by reading

I've learned that you must fight for things you beleive in

I've learned that it is perhaps not wise to pursue a girl who's Thai boyfriend has pointed a gun at you- just in case

I have learned that buying 'Sppidderman DVD's' from a Taxi driver whilst speeding through Bangkok was not one of my most astute fiscal aspirations to date

I have learned many things- non of which will stop me going back at Christmas- hope to see you all there

Regards

Drew