[Denver]

Originally Posted by Dodger

Simple, just ask majory dodge, look at the distance between bowel and stomach surface, the bowel does its job sending its message off rumbling before eruption but although it travels at the speed of sound the distance to cover is greater than that from the bowel to your loverly coffee coloured leather suite, hence the time it arrives at your stomach surface in a rumbling warning it is too fecking late, bowels done its job.

Right next problem!!!

Dear Margery Dodge,

My suite wasn't 'coffee' coloured when I got here. It would appear that patches of coffee looking stains gradually appeared which over time have sort of....joined together to give it that textured coffee 'look'

I've tried everything to clean it. Washing up liquid, dry-cleaning (Which was actually wet!) Jedi-Mind cleaning and dropping the whole thing in the pool overnight but it's still a bit squishy in places.

What would you recommend Marge? I'm desperate!

Deirdre