I have a little list:
69 golden rules of going to Thailand
1. Don’t fall in love.
2. Have fun.
3. Try to hook up with a BM who’s been there before and let them show you around. This will save you time and hassle and enhance your LOS experience.
4. Don’t go with the same girl more than 3 nights unless you looking for GFE.
5. Always wear a condom.
6. Don’t fall in love.
7. Be wary of drinking with Thai males, as some tend to get aggressive when drunk.
8. Organizing meeting up with a BG after she has finished work is ripping off the bar owner. You may get away with it but it ain’t kosher.
9. Butterflying is okay as long as you let the BG’s know that that is all your after.
10. Don’t fall in love.
11. Keep away from drugs. You may end up being someone’s ***** in a Thai jail for the next 20 years………………or worse.
12. Don’t see what you like in a certain bar? Don’t winge about it!! Just go to another bar!!
13. You may not really be that big.
14. You ain’t in Kansas any more Dorothy. You in LOS. Things are different here!!!
15. Don’t bother making too many plans as they will all go to f**k when you get there.
16. The effectiveness of your katoey radar is directly related to amount of alcohol consumed.
17. Don’t antagonize the lady boys.
18. Don’t fall in love.
19. Don’t be afraid to ask for a BG’s ID. Will only take a sec and is much safer than ending up in a Thai jail because she is under age.
22 year is 2527
21 year is 2528
20 year is 2529
19 year is 2530
18 year is 2531
20. ID’s can be faked.
21. So can orgasms.
22. Don’t drink the tap water but drink plenty of bottled water so you don’t dehydrate.
23. Before booking a hotel make sure they don’t charge for your guests.
24. Don’t fall in love.
25. A soapy is a great way to start the trip.
26. Bring your own condoms.
27. Be respectful to the BG’s. They are human beings.
28. Smile.
29. The BG’s will tell you what you want to hear. Remember that you are a walking ATM and they are just trying to press the right buttons to get at the money.
30. Buffalo’s rarely get sick.
31. Be wary but not paranoid of freelancers.
32. Don’t fall in love.
33. It might not actually be her brother.
34. Thai pussy tastes sweet.
35. You may not actually be handsome !!!
36. Don’t bring too much with you as you can pretty much buy what you need there cheaply.
37. Don’t give your details to the girls doing surveys on Beach Rd or you will be hassled for the rest of your stay by Time Share sellers.
38. Take out only as much money as you are prepared to spend each night.
39. Don’t fall in love
40. Agree price with girl before hand.
41. Check your bin periodically to make sure your bill isn’t being padded.
42. No matter how pissed you get in a Go-Go, don’t ever think that getting up and dancing on stage is a cool. All the blokes in there have come in to see nubile young babes dancing. Not some stocious, blubber gutted, hairy arsed, pale skinned falang.
43. Don’t get involved in an argument between a Thai and his girl. Chivalry is no match for a bunch of Thai boxers.
44. Don’t get involved in an argument between a farang and his girl.
45. Definitely never get involved in an argument involving lady boys.
46. In ref 38, 39 & 40, He who turns and walks away lives to barfine another day.
47. Don’t be bullied into buying lady drinks for the girl your with and/or her friend/friends. Be polite but firm.
48. Don’t fall in love.
49. If someone beats you to bar fining that days lust of your life then don’t sweat it. There are thousands of more where she came from.
50. She may not actually love you!!!!!
51. Keep your wits about you but don’t be paranoid.
52. Don’t fall in love.
53. Never get so pissed that you don’t know where you are.
54. Don’t be overly flash with your cash or any other wealth indicators. Someone’s watching.
55. Don’t advertise to the BG’s that its your first trip to Pattaya. Try to seem a little knowledgeable. They can smell a LOS Virgin (and his money) a mile away.
56. See point 24.
57. As hard as it may be to believe, BG’s may actually not be totally honest with you.
58. Join a board or two before you go and read up a little on how things work.
59. Odds are that she doesn’t actually love you.
60. Shower frequently. To the TG’s we stink.
61. Don’t fall in love.
62. You may fall in love. It’s a risk you must be prepared to take. It happens.
63. In ref No 59. Maybe its real. Maybe its not. You’re playing the game so you have to work it out.
64. In ref 62 & 63, see rule 18.
65. The Thai’s have many weird and wonderful ways of doing things which may totally infuriate you. Get used to it and embrace it.
66. Their country, their rules, their time scale. Deal with it.
67. “Face” is very important to the Thai’s. Accept it and be prepared to make some minor sacrifices with it.
68. Don’t fall in love.
69. Ignore rules 1 through to 68, have fun, stay safe but DON”T FALL IN LOVE !!!