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Been a bit slack recently on the trip report due to working insane hours so time for a catch up.
Scuba Diving, Tits, and the plane of death.
Day 7
After the parking ticket incident I needed to chill out for a while and decided to go scuba diving with Scrappy. We booked up with Scuba Cat for the following day and we were collected from our hotel at a totally unreasonable hour the following morning. We staggered on board the bus still stinking of last nights booze and found our fellow divers were a of mixture of nervous looking students (of which I was one) and trendy diving instructors with jazzy hair cuts. The instructors all looked like something out of a Vidal Sassoon advert and I wondered what environmental impact their hair product must have of the sea life. By 9.00am we were on the boat and heading out to the reefs, it was a rough day at sea and we were getting tossed this way and that. After an hour or so we reached Koh Racha Noi (not sure I spelt that right) and I had some one on one time with my instructor who got me to go through some basic techniques so I wouldn't drown. He knew what he was doing and looked after me well making sure I didn't get myself into any trouble; despite their haircuts I would have to recommend Scuba Cat to any budding divers.
After a few hours splashing about and damaging the coral the diving was over and we headed back to shore with plenty of stories to tell about close encounters with trigger fish and getting nipped by eels. A couple of young fit looking german girls got their open water cetificates and the hair cut brigade were swarming around them like sharks circling their pray. The ride back on the boat was even worse than on the way out and Scrappy felt sick as a dog. The waves were huge and the little boat we were in was listing heavily from left to right at 30-40 degree angles; I felt like Captian Jack Sparrow.
Back ashore we partied into the into the night and I headed back to the pool bar to have another crack at tits. She looked as beautiful as ever with the rack from heaven on show as she bent over the pool table to play her shots. Purchased her some drinks and played some pool but just couldn't get her to really engage with me which p!ssed me off. I kept looking at those lovely airbags but it just didn't feel right with her. She was still hostile, not just to me but almost anyone who was male so I decided to call it a day; tipped her generously and left the bar. Felt a bit gutted because I knew we could have been pen pals but if she wasn't going to enjoy herself then what's the point?
Day 8
Next day me and the Scrappy monster left Patong to head over to Pattaya for a few nights. Got to the airport and checked in for the Bangkok Airways flight to U-Tapao. We travelled out onto the run way in a bus which parked up next to a small plane with propellers. "Our plane must be parked behind that small one" I thought as we disembarked from the bus. "What's going on, why are we going onto that small plane with propellers? It doesn't even have proper engines" I said as we got on board the brightly painted plane. The words "I'm from Europe, does nobody here know we don't travel on these kind of planes!" was screaming inside my head but I kept my mouth shut so not to offend the pilot. I found my seat suprisingly quickly because there really weren't all that many to chose from! I became even more concerned when the stewardess asked me and scrappy to move seats so the aircraft would be balanced on take off. What kind of plane needs passengers to move so it's balanced on take off I thought... not a very good one. If it had proper engines it might not have this trouble! I considered writing a very strongly worded letter to the boss of Bangkok Airways but before I'd had a chance to pencil down my thoughts we were tearing down the runway for what seemed like an enternity before lifting off and very slowly climbing to our cruising altitude of 10 feet. Luckily we flew mostly over the sea so the planes lack of cruising height didn't cause too many problems. I was served with the obligatory inflight snack of peanuts which I opened with caution this time as I was worried that any sudden movements would have an adverse effect on the planes flight path. U-Tapao couldn't arrive quick enough and when it did the pilot was so happy to arrive he landed twice by bouncing the plane down the runway, it must have been a windy day...
Once disembarked me and Scrappy collected our baggage and headed out to the taxi rank. TAKE NOTE, U-Tapao is 30 minutes by taxi from Pattaya and in the middle of no where. It's not a busy airport and the taxi drivers know the times the planes land and fix their prices. We had to pay 1000 baht for a 30 min journey into town, not good but we had no choice.
We checked into the Areca Lodge hotel and got freshed up all ready for our first ever venture into Pattaya...
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