Quote:
Originally Posted by ChoakMyDee
Well I believe there are lots of good-hearted girls working in bars. They come down from up north to meet a farang who will take care of them and take them out of the dead-end low paying jobs they would have if they stayed up north. The work they do in the bar is just business...they are doing what they have to do to earn money and maybe hoping Mr. right comes along in the process. I think if you get them away from the bar before they have been there too long then you have a good chance for a good relationship but the longer they work there the bigger the chance they become evil LBFMs. The big problem is you can't always tell the good ones from the bad ones and there are many people who would say don't bother at all. After all, there are lots of Thai girls who don't hang out in bars who would love to meet a farang.
If I were you I would first of all not make promises I can't keep. I've done that before and it is a shitty way to treat someone.
The other thing is she is probably still going with customers. Don't get upset, don't investigate her, just accept it...if you can't accept it then move on.
I think it is great that you are getting her to OZ for a visit...this is what you need to do at this point...spend more time together before you both know that you want to get serious. Don't get too far ahead of yourself. You have to know if it was just a case of LOS hypnotism or not.
I personally couldn't see myself having a serious relationship with a bargirl if we were living in 2 different countries. That is only my personal opinion but there is no way I would be getting serious with a bargirl if I couldn't get her out of the bar and into my country or if I couldn't move there and live with her and get her out of the bar. We have a BM who is married to a Thai lady who still works in the bar and they live in separate countries...a less than ideal situation if you ask me.
My advice, don't get too serious. Get her to OZ and have fun and get to know each other better and take it from there. I'll bet you will have the time of your life with her in OZ as you get to see her experiencing the farang world for the first time.
Best of luck to you.
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A nice story Dr. Phil, but unfortunately, your story doesn't mirror real life exactly.
What you describe is maybe how many would like to do it, and also what would make more sense.
No one wants to get into a long term relationships or hang on the phone for hours, don't want to send money, but
rather just get her over to OZ (or where ever) to see if you fit together and be happy ever after.
Unfortunately, you know that this is not possible, you can't get her over after only 1 holiday meeting or 1 month of emails.
So, you have to keep contact for a longer time if you really want to have a chance in future ... hence, the long term relationship
has already begun with all the shabang around it, from sponsorship, bar removal procedure to mistrust and god knows all the other
stuff we love to talk about so much ;-)