i have been reading this forum for a few months now, before and after my thai holiday and just wanted to say hi, thank you and share a few of my good times
would love to hear any comments anyone might have, positive or negative, i can take a joke - flaming welcome
Phuket / Bangkok Jan 2008 - just the usual stuff - not for me though
btw - i am not a handsome man, no brad pitt anyway, i am 30 but it seems 60 is more handsome in LOS lol
i had no intentions of getting into the bar scene, i wanted to go snorkelling, parasailling, shopping etc - maybe stray from patong and see the quiet side of phuket. i have hung out with the bar girls with my ex girlfriend a few years ago in los and never noticed many amazing/risk an std type girls, i would rather have boom boom with my hand than an ugly/too skanky looking girl - i dont really go for the girls with the tiny cut off jeans, i ended up mostly with freelancers who dressed in designer dresses - sexy
i arrive at patong about 10am and check into my hotel, it was about a 10 minute motorbike to bangla rd, a great spot away from the action but also just there when you wanted it, the hotel had terrible reviews but i know some peolple just have way too high expectations, i actually enjoy the little things that sometimes go wrong in thailand, surely they are taking the piss half the time ?
after a freshen up i check out phuket, my new home for the next week, looks like fun, grabbed a great meal from a street vendor/restaurant - noone spoke any english so just sat down and basically said hello and thanks in thai - they gave me a soupy noodle dish with meaty things i didnt recognise in there and a chang beer for 50 baht - that chang is great, i have drunk every brand of beer i can think of and chang is up there with the best imho
a short story is a good story..
so after a few hours familiarising myself with patong and sorting out accom etc (only booked the first night at hotel in case the reviewers were right - luckilly they were wrong - couldnt have dreamt of more friendly staff, very clean too) later that night, about 5 or 6 changs later i walk past soi tiger (i think it was called soi tiger) girls everywhere, i think they were girls, i can admit for the first few days i could not pick the lbs in dark clubs, apart from the obvious ones, especially when really drunk.
i popped into a bar and played a few games with the girls, 5 or 6 tequillas later wandered off to some club and the rest is a blurr, i woke up the next morning in my hotel with a girl in my bed. i freaked out that morning, locked my credit card and cash in reception and wondered if she was actually female - (we all hear the stories) i dont recognise this person and who knows what happened last night ? luckilly she was 100% female, the tiny hands and velvety feminine voice were enough for me really - plus she was pretty - a real character too, maybe too much - when i asked her what happened last night and politely told her i dont recognise her, she just said i dont recognise you either and i want a refund "take you back to bar for return" obviously a line she has copped from a customer - lol copkunkup - , after a little sleep in and breakfast i asked her how much i owed her (pretending i knew what the arranged price from last night was but just needed reminding), lol she could spot it a mile away "up to you" she says so i say $1000 baht expecting to end up paying around $1500 - "no 2000 baht ! - is phuket ! if you want 1000 baht you go to pattaya" - ''but you said the price was up to me ? " lol - welcome to thailand
i'll call this girl #1 because apart from being my first bg ever we were good friends too (so it was all an act but i wasnt complaining - i can see why falangs fall for these bgs some are so outrageous and entertaining compared to some of the shy regular girls i have met, thai or falang - i chatted to a few of the non bar girls too but realised i dont want to wine and dine a girl i will never see again - might break her heart and/or mine.
anyway as it turns out #1 did not want a refund, she wanted more boom boom, more than i could provide to be honest - she ended up trying to stay another night without arranging a price - "work out tomorrow - up to you" - im not falling for this again, i paid her 1000 baht and said she can stay for that - up to you" - i am still a bit worried at this point with my valuables locked in the reception safe etc - i dont know where this girl came from, even if she does try a rort - i would probably enjoy the action, im in los for a good time not a long time - she was happy with the 1000 for a 2nd night, i am probably paying too much i dont know or care really, if they have a good personality and are pretty they are priceless imho, i bought her a few t shirts and stuff too
i have a lot of respect for these bar girls, they earn their money devising their little scams to get an extra baht here or there, good on them, if you hate the player you hate the game i say
that night we went for a ride around patong, was great having a personal tour guide on the back of the bike - and stereo too, she was singing most of the time, we grabbed some dvds, ate dinner at a street vendor - the ones with plastic tables and chairs that could break at any second (im only 80kg) - another noodly soup thing - i love spicy food - i always cook with chilli and usually try to outdo the last meals spiciness - you either love chilli or hate it hey ? she was amazed i could eat spicy food, "you show man" i wasnt showing off i just really love chilli - and if you think chilli is hot try this listerine mouth wash - lol that shut her up
so after another night of fun and games at my hotel - (she is called #1 for a few reasons) i got her phone number and said i will call her tonight because i want to do some things around phuket, i didnt come to los for boom boom in hotel room, im going snorkelling today, "you not call" she says, i had planned to but she was right, i not call - i met another hottie that night (not as drunk this time - not falling for the tequilla trick tonight) this girl was smoking hot, even when she casually took a piss in the gutter of crowded bangla rd she looked good, lets call her #2, hope she wasnt doing a #2 in that gutter
looks are not everything - boring boom boom - not like #1 from last night, i actually politely asked this one to leave, "you can have your 2000 baht and go back to bar for another customer if you like" - i thought i was being nice but it didnt go down well at all - she was highly offended with my comments and exploded a cigarette lighter in my face (about a foot away from my face) it was just a warning - was i rude ? she has heard she is not the best boom boom before but made it clear she wasnt going anywhere and stayed as long as she could up untill the next evening out of spite - she also said she was a lady boy which really freaked me out, i went down to reception and asked them to check her id card (lbs probably have female cards anyway, i dont know, just needed reassurance) the girls at reception had a laugh and assured me she was a real lady, when i returned to my room she was pissed off that i had to check, "you cant tell difference ?" a real handfull she was
we had dinner at a nearby restaurant the next night, she spoke to the restaurant staff in thai and they kept looking at me and laughing, then one of the waitresses brings over a real lb and starts to point out the differences between lbs and ladies, i kept trying to say "i know the difference, she played a trick on me" but i cant speak thai so i just sat there and looked like a loser, that was a bad scenario because the lb didnt see the funny side, poor lb just wanted to eat dinner not be used as a sex education model - she just payed me back for offending her last night, i love bargirls
so much for parasailing and beach activities, the girls are way more fun, i felt bad for ditching #1 last night so decided to give her a call - we really did get along and have a great time together, she answers the phone "i see you last night with lady! you say you call me!" furious but it turned out she was only joking and knew i was a butterlfy anyway (am i ?) i was worried #1 might have a few lighter tricks of her own. (i have even called #1 from australia recently to say hi) i really like her a lot - we have a mutual understanding we are only friends, i am not inlove. i just laugh at her requests that i live with her in isaan etc, you could put this girl on a stage at comedy theatre - you all know the thai sense of humour - i catch her lying all the time but she can talk her way out of anything, gee i miss her
phuket is crazy, i havent even got to bangkok yet - crazy compared to my regular life in oz but just another day in LOS really i guess.
anyway just wanted to hello and share a few stories, probably boring, guess you had to be there - and some of you are, lucky bastards
this actually took a few hours to write, might take a break now, if i get motivated i might share some more classics like:
where is my wallet ?
why is my lip black ?
why am i crying ?
i only work bar 1st time tonight !
dont ask me to be your wife
are you sure you dont want any money ?
and my favourite:
f@#% work im not going home
till next time - keep smiling