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Originally Posted by river
If I were you I'd try and do a one or two month trip and spend all your time with her first just to make sure.
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Also if you decide to get serious you might want to get one of those agency's to check up on her just to make sure she hasn't got five kids and a Thai husband stashed up country, or am I being paranoid.
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No, River, you're not being paranoid. And the idea of spending at least a month full time with a girl is a good idea. Probably more than one month is best. I spent a month, not 24/7, but 16+ hours a day with a girl on my last trip, as some of you know. I still don't feel like I know her as well as I would want to make a commitment to a person.
TGs are extremely convincing when they turn on the tears spigot, and start telling you about how they hate working in the bar and going with strange men. And it only makes sense when you think about it. Think about a life where you never know who you are going to be sleeping with the next night. Where you never know if you are going to be treated nicely or roughly, not to mention some of the grubby guys who are going to be kissing you, ugly d*cks that you are going to be asked to s*ck, or huge weighty bellies that are going to be crushing your petite little body. And the body odor! I hate to even think about it. No wonder they require pre-sex showering, yet it doesn't take long to break a sweat in that climate! It is no wonder that so many of the girls are alcoholics. I'd want to be well-pissed, too, if I ever had to bed down with some sweaty beer-breath drunken punter, let alone night after night.
So when they cry to you about hating their life and that they have no one to care for them, it is probably true in many cases, even though they are awfully good at putting on the party face when they are soliciting business. Can't very blame them for that, making the best of a bad situation is the Thai way of life. So a girl could be one who is just lookling for a sponsor's money and still be a "working girl" on the sly(I remember being at an internet in BKK with a FL I'd been banging for a week, 24/7, when she writes to her UK sponsor, "I am working as a maid in the house of a farang" - yeah, working on my meat in my hotel room, was more like it), but OTOH, she could be sincere about wanting to leave the nasty business of selling herself. However....
Does that really mean she loves you as she claims? The "I love you, I love you, I love you,", mantra, recited many times in the heat of passion is very convincing. But I have talked to girls in Phuket and Samui who had older men sponsoring them. After getting to know them, helping them translate or write letters, and being asked for advice on what to say to farang men, invariably, when it seemed they were very comfortable confiding in me, I would pop the question which was in my mind all along. A simple inquiry, "Do you love him?"
Invariably the answer was the same, "Nitnoi." A little bit. And if you could see the expressions on their faces when they said it, it really meant a very, tiny, little bit. One kept complaining how fat the guy was. Another how horribly old her BF was. How old? I asked. Fifty-eight, she replied, as if that was an ancient age. How old are you? I asked. 36. And she was no great looker either, although the body was still tight enough. So why do you bother with him, is there anything you do like about him? I asked. "He is khon jai dii, she said(he is a kind man.)
I am rambling, but you get the idea. Go slow. Be careful.
JayBee
