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Originally Posted by Yahooka
Sorry for that brash reply  .What I meant that even with my intensions before my trips to LOS about NEVER having unprotected sex again,I unfortunataly sometimes end up in situations where I do !!
It`s easy to lose judgement some times !!
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Yes, yahooka! It is way too easy. My first tour it was my intention to always cover up and not to eat any pussy, just to be extra safe. I did cover up 100% except for condom breaks, and only one time when that happened did I keep banging her. But the no eating pussy rule went out the window with the first girl I was with. Her pussy tasted way too good!
The 2nd tour, I started out double-bagging, so I would not have to worry about condom breaks. After a month, I slipped up. Not because of alcohol. Because of girls who didn't want me to use a condom. And because of ego. They make you feel like you are invincible, like you are a god. That feeling makes it easy to slip up. I had unprotected sex about 30 times in the last 4 weeks I spent there on 2nd tour.
On the 3rd tour, I was 100% a good boy! No slip-ups. I gave myself a gold star on my forehead and a couple of green cards, too!
Last tour, again at about the one month mark or a little short of it, I slipped up. Same story. Girls who don't want to use condoms. But I was more careful than on the 2nd tour. This time it wasn't alcohol, and it wasn't ego, since I was very aware of the risks and thought about it even as I was doing it. It was just that it felt so damn good! When I really liked a girl a lot, and I got that warm, cozy, loved-up feeling with her, it felt just like it used to with my wife, when I was married, in the years when things were good between us. The feeling I'm talking about is part physical sensation, but more than that, becaue I never slipped up with a girl that I didn't have feelings for. It was the combination of sexual feeling and emotional warmth, that feeling of being so-o-o-o close to the other person,that made it hard to say no to them, when they say, "No condom." It just felt too damn good. I was high for sure, but not on alcohol.
The truth is that this has a lot to do with why my attitude about being a butterfly has changed. If I find one girl that I really get that feeling strong with, then maybe I will get her tested, and stick with her. The sex is so much better when you feel that warmth, that free and easy feeling between you and her, that connection.
Of course, even to get a girl tested, and stick to one girl, there is still risk. because of the lag time between infection and the antibodies showing up on a test. But the risk is a little more calculated.
All of this troubles me greatly. I'm just thinking out loud. Of course, covering up is the way to go. No doubt about it. No worries about preganancy that way, either! But I am just saying that I think a lot of guys are like Yahooka and me. Best of intentions, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions!It's not easy!
JayBee
