Quote:
|
Martin, as I read this tonight I am reminded how things in our lives happen for a reason, sometimes it pulls you out of a place where you were and lends a hand in giving you a new direction to follow...I'm sure things will get worked out and all will be fine...hang in there.
|
Been thinking about that too....
But it is not so simple as that.
First she does not want to cancel the decembertrip for her and the kids. She desperetely wants to get out at holliday-time, not to be alone at home with the hollidays as usual.
She does not have a life-treatening thing. It is ennoying and with an attack every limb in your body suffers. But I am afraid that without medication for the moment, that trip is a bit dangerous. She now had the attack by partying too much, too late and an evening of alcohol and in bed at 4 am.
Beware, she has not been a bad girl, in Spain she was early in bed (alone), but in Belgium she partied with ...her father!
Of course it was there all the time, but extreme fatigue has made it come out. Now the worst thing is...jet-lag. That realy screw your mecanism if you are sensitive to epilepsy. The doctors do not want to give medication if she doesn't have another attack before six months, some people get this once.
But I am sure that she had this 5 years ago when I was talking on the phone with her and she was alone at her parents appartement! So I think she IS sensitive, and the stake that she will get it back with great fatigue is real.
The reason I want to cancel my trip of at least 2 months is Los is simple:
I am afraid that she will have an attack when I am gone or traveling alone on the plane with the kids! I don't want her to drive either!
To come back at your remark, yes I need the girlies less then 2 years ago, that is true! It is fun to do that, make you feel like life is not finished and feel the adrenaline running when you are going to the bedroom with a beautiful young girl! But how more you do that, less special it gets, certainly if you are in love with the one at home.....
So yes maybe that is why it is not bad there would be an end to it. I realise that, but i think if I decided that completely, a part of my life would be gone. It maybe was preferable this happened after next winter, as I would have been a longer time in Los, and had this before to accept my youth is gone.
My wife had now 2 attacks, where she did not remember anything BTW. I had 2 heart -surgery in my real youth, been between live and death for several years, to get rewarded by a panicdisorder I am fighting against fierecely against every day (especially without the pills now). Like now, I have two quareling young girls, one screaming boy in the house. This morning I stood up and 7.30. The dogs shitted the kitchen all over, my son all his pyiama, had to go in town toget the grocerys, made breakfast etc. when my wife is here I also do a lot of that. I will have to do all the driving to bring the kids to school any time now.
So the other side of the story, although i want the best for my wife and support her the best I can, I will maybe need to have some time off, for myself even more then before! If even having pleasure to support the family, loving my wife, I also need a bit of rewarding sometimes...
At the moment everything that count is to relief my wife, but we will see that we have to find a way to keep everybody happy!
Well enough of this, thanks to let you spit my heart out here, I don't want this board to turn out in personal drama's, wich are btw not that bad at all!
