[dizbuster]

There is some good advice already on this board, but what I add is more of trying to understand why you got this request.

I used to think all instances like this were scams to get money, but having been to LOS 7 times and preferring to spend time with the same girl each time rather than butterfly, I have been noticing little things about their way of life. I am by no means claiming to be an expert, but it might help if you look at it like this...

She arrives back home and there is a dead relative. She never seems to have much money, but has enough to survive i.e. feed and clothe herself as well as pay her rent. She now needs to find some money to help with costs of the cremation and what is most prevalant in her mind ? Her new farang friend who always had money and never worried about the cost of anything. All she saw was you dishing out money as and when needed, totally alien to her style of living but not to us farangs. She wants to help out and maybe even wants to impress with a big donation (remember bar girls tend to be frowned upon in their home society) so she asks the one person who can help her with this - YOU !!

I think this is more likely to be the case and if she has been sensible, then she will not have mentioned this to anyone else and she hopes it will be a nice surprise. However these girls tend not to be able to keep a secret amongst themselves and she may have already told her family about you and that she will give a big (for her) donation, so she sends the email and does not put an amount on it hoping for more rather than less.

Next step - if you don't send any money, she loses face and doesn't write to you again. If you send say, 5,000baht, she's happy, family are impressed and all is well. If you send 10,000baht, she gives 5,000 and keeps 5,000 for herself - maybe ??

There would be an element of "hope" in her mail, as she has not mentioned an amount, hence hoping for a bigger donation, so perhaps she can keep some for herself. Looking at it from another side, how much would she promise to give, if she didn't have a farang friend ?? I doubt she could afford, or would be expected to give as much as 5,000baht.

My opinion is that you haven't known her for long enough, but don't get angry at her for doing what she feels is OK to do.

Cheers
Diz