[Denver]

The 'Squat 'n' Drop' method reminds me of a time at the Carlsberg Beer Festival in Nicosia, Cyprus ages ago. We had all had a skinfull of ale and some dodgy burgers. The stomach rumbles started and the queues at the Festival bogs were huge.

One of the lads had seen a row of toilets next to the stage area near to where the 'Acts' were getting ready, so feet tight, close together, buttocks clenched, we shuffled off like Charlie Chaplin. These bogs had saloon style pine slatted swing-wing doors and it seemed strange squatting over what seemed like a very small hole to aim at and seeing peoples feet as they walked past outside.

It was only then, mid dump that I looked up and saw the shower head in the ceiling, this shocked me enough to make me miss and yes, there was no Bum Gun either, it was a case of pull up and get out quick or pretend to have a shower and use it as a mega bum gun.

I chose to pull up, try my best to kick the ex-burger I had deposited around the little hole - into the hole and then shower it down, pick up my beer and scarper sharpish. I met all my mates at the back of the proper bog queue waiting to have a good swipe with some TP! A good night all in all!