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Originally Posted by steveski
Aussie dollar’s comment is spot on about not reading others mail, yes I know it is wrong, it has caused me a lot of unwanted pain in the past and I do know better, but I can’t help myself sometimes, I just have to know.
I think Paul’s advice is spot on, for me any way.
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I agree with Paul in that a girl's gonna do what a girl's gonna do, so you may as well relax, accept the inevitable, and try not to stress over it. And, yes, at times that is easier said than done, Diz! We are only human.
As for reading someone else's mail, while it is true that it probably only causes unnecessary pain and makes it worse for yourself(you might say it's masochistic), it is the nature of the beast to want to know the real score, even when it hurts. As for the ethics of it, I feel like it goes back to "All's fair in love and war." What I mean by that, is that we are just trying to figure out if, what we are engaged in with the BG, is love or war! Or a bit of both. Whoops! I take that back, the bit of of both is called marriage, IINM.
There is nothing more basic in man, than the desire to know whether we are being lied to or told the truth.When a girl says, "Teerak, you are the only man in my life!" and you find out she is saying the same thing in emails to 5 other guys, then it tells you something about her, and about the nature of your relationship with her. If you want to bury your head in the sand, or be understanding and forgiving about it, then that is your perogative. But I don't see anything wrong with wanting to know. As Burg might say, "Know what? She's a BG, you already know everything you need to know about her!" But it is not that simple for most of us. The flesh is weak, and makes the brain a bit unsteady, at times. We are not living in paradise with a successful businesswoman wife. We live in the bowels of the beast of Western urban society, and take comfort where we find it.
Still, if you send money to a BG, it is natural to feel you are being cheated when she says you are the only one, and you find out about the others. But that is where Burg's point of view is valid. You can not really expect quid pro quo when it comes to love. If you want to help out a poor girl and her family, and can afford to do so, good for you. But don't forget the words of the lads from Liverpool: "Money can't buy me love!" If you think it can, you are wrong.
Best thing to do is just to relax. Go with the flow. But that is where life is really unfair, because all those wonderful masseuses should be here where we are tense and really need them to relax us, instead of in LOS, where everything is slow and easy by comparison!!
JayBee
