[Dodger]

The conversation finihshed shortly after that and I have heard nothing since. I followed it up with an email and tried to be as open as I could and tried not to be judgemental. I also left things open so that she could make the decision about how long she wants to be with me when I come over, but I also said I was not too happy at the thought of being alone for 1 week and wanted to have a happy holiday.

I haven't received a reply yet, in fact I'm not too sure that I will even get one.

Diz[/quote]


Diz, Thanks for posting your current experiences as I am sure that this information is not only useful to newbies but to us all, as we have all had a similar experience at some stage and for some a very costly experience.


I think this is because we are from europe and do not initially understand the difference between the term love and why a bg/tg looks for a farang or indeed any partner. If she is the eldest daughter she is brought up told that her role is to provide for mama (papa incidentally if he is still about), to provide a home and an income for mama's retirement, this then is and always will be her first priority for all of her life, if a second daughter then her role is to supplement mamas income when daughter number one cannot. Secondly is for herself and child, then immediate members of family then husband and fifth boyfriend. Love in her eyes means that after two days the potential boyfriend appears to offer the first four things so she calls that love which is why they tell us this so quickly, if she marries the boyfriend maybe after 3 or 4 years of marriage she actually grows into what we think of as the feelings of love but still he will never get higher than priority three on her list. If they should split for whatever reason after this period the face thing kicks in and she will remove every trace of their time together, dismiss him from her mind and start again. If this happens two or three times that is when she will become the hardened bg that we make comment of on the forum and especially if she is over 30.

I think, as others have said that unless we live in Thailand then we never progress from priority 5 and therefore cannot blame any tg for keeping her options open and running with two or three boyfriends all of which meet her criteria so all of which she loves. Your decision is do you share her knowingly, I put knowingly because we all share LT if not there everyday. Even if we sponsor them to an adequate level mamas demands for material goods will exceed almost any sponsor income level so she will always be requested to provide more.

My opinion is that you will not be alone as you know and you will find another whom you feel exactly the same for on your next trip, if you want to be with her for one week do so, then stay in Patong or wherever and find another, fine. Until the day you move there and then take your time and find the one to settle with.

I think the problems I read about on the forum come because we apply our european ideals and culture onto the asian girl, some of them exploit this but the majority just have a different hereditary agenda and one we must always keep reminding ourselves about because it is so easy to say "nah not my LT, she's different, she really loves me'.

I also disagree with others, I do not want to read emails, texts etc because I already know what is happening when I am not there but don't personally want to read it or see it. If you hadn't in this instance nothing in your relationship would have changed you would be happy to see her and she would have seen you for two weeks or would have told you she had to go home for your second week cos mama was ill or something. Knowing only brings it factually home, so I think you will get a reply by email or telephone because you meet the criteria required, you have just got to decide knowing what you do to either say goodbye and start again or accept this two weeks. It will never become a totally faithfull relationship whilst any of us are not there for 46 weeks out of 52.

For what its worth it has happened to me and each time now I go back I find another one that I like even more than the first, second etc, each with a little hopeful story that shes not the same but I never sponsor and just accept the fun relationship that it is when I am with them. Sorry I have whittled on big time, I must write this story soon of my first Thai romance if Nicke's got enough web space!! I could then just do a Diz and point people to the thread, save a lot of typing, because all my opinions would be on it!!