Quote:
|
Originally Posted by ancientmariner
this "grengjai" applies to most asian cultures, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, not just thai. you can call it politeness or hyprocritical. depends on your perspective.
|
It is a little strange to the farang mind, because here if someone offers you something to drink or eat, then the polite thing to do is to accept the offer. If a person is particularly gregarious, then you might feel bad to turn down the offer, but making an excuse doesn't help much in that case. With most people, it is "up to you" and it is OK to turn it down, although more friendly to accept it.
But you would never say no, if you really wanted to accept. Well, hardly ever. If it was someone you really didn't know that well and you really did feel that maybe it was an imposition, then you might say, "Oh, you really shouldn't..." or "Oh, I couldn't possibly put you to all that trouble," but certainly not over an offer of a beverage or a bite to eat. People don't normally do that though, as it is considered being overly polite, and, as such, a little suspect. If you are trying to be extra polite you might say, "OK, if it's not too much trouble for you..." Bu that would usually be only if you showed up unexpectedly, as they were sitting down to eat, and they said, "Have a seat. We can put out another plate for you." Then, you really are imposing, because if they cooked food for 3 people, and they invite you, then it means everyone gets a little less to eat!!
All in all, in the West, politeness only goes so far. In other words, you can only bend the truth so far. There is such a thing as a little white lie, and it is a judgement call as to when to use it. But normally, you are expected to politely say what you really mean!