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Originally Posted by steve@thaib
I think that is exactly what I am getting at. Caste systems and social structures from a bygone age.
My question is, does it still exist and is it relevant to the way people live today?
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Good points, guys! I think that it is probably true that Thais cut us a lot of slack because they realize that we are dumb farangs and also because it is to their advantage to do so.
As for these sort of social customs being something from a bygone age, I don't think that is the case. I think that young people when dealing with their circle of friends are pretty loose with the customs, but I doubt if they would be so loose when they visited the home of their friends' parents.
Acoording to my teacher, observance of this customary way of responding to hospitality is an absolute must for Thais, unless you are dealing with good friends on a very informal basis. I think that the class system is very much alive and well in LOS. The whole structure of their language is based on which person in the conversation has a higher rank than the other person. That is also why they have different words for older brother, older sister, younger brother, younger sister, aunt who is older than your father, aunt who is younger than your father, so on and so forth, all the way up and down the line. There is no word that just means aunt or uncle. It is always considered who has the seniority!! There are many, many words in Thai, which when used, make an inference of which person speaking has the higher status. All monks have a status higher than other people, including the king. i think if you said something which was an insult to the royal family or a monk, that you would find out pretty fast that there still remains a social order, because in this regard, I don't think that they make exceptions, even for dumb farangs.
There are similar words which are very specific for what the boss can call you, what you can call the boss, and what you call someone who is your peer. I don't mean words like boss, employee, or co-worker. I mean words like "little brother" or something like that(not that exactly, but I can't remember what it is). He will only use that term if he is your superior and he wants to show that he likes you, but you can't use the same word in return, because although you are friends, there is always the reminder that he ranks above you!
If you think that these customs are from a bygone day, then I think that you don't understand Thai society. Among the BGs, things are a lot looser, because they share the same status, they are in the same boat. And in dealing with farangs, they get used to suspending normal social custom for our sake(and theirs).
But I have found in dealing with TGs and with Filipina girls in the US(never been to PI), that they will almost always lie to you, with some silly excuse, rather than turn you down outright. Sometimes farang girls do the same, but most of the time they just tell you outright, I don't want to see you anymore, if that is their intention, rather than keep making up excuses why they can't see you, until you get tired of asking, and finally get the message. With the Filipina girls, I thought they are just a bunch of liars, but now I understand that, perhaps, it is their custom to lie in that kind of situation, which makes it a cultural difference, and not necessarily wrong for them to do that, because in their culture, maybe it is the proper or acceptable way to handle it.
JayBee
