Calling in sick to work

[urtheman]

When you manage businesses everyone gets sick calls. In the states it would be "my car broke down" "my kid is sick", etc.

In Hong Kong I recieved a call from a girl who said she was locked in her house and couldn't get out. I was concerned and said we will call the firdepartment to help you out, but she said "my mom will be back in 3 hours and will let me out then" I thought that was bullshit but until last week it was the wackiest I've heard.

Two weeks ago Phuket had it's vegetarian festival and there are all sorts of spiritial things going on. Lots of piercing and wacky things.

I recieved a call from one of our cleaners daying she couldn't come to work for two days. She said "there is a God in her and if he smells meat he will come out during work and be very upset."

I will try this someday "there is a God in me and you don't want him coming out at work do you?" do you think they will believe me?

I still chuckle when I see her.

Needless to say she had two days off no problem.

[DARBS]

a mate of mine who worked at my firm called in sick with a broken
leg and then come back 5 weeks later with herpes and a wicked tan
he was in pattaya the whole time . NO BROKEN LEG,

then another dude got a guy on the net to copy his mates jury service letter
just changeing the name address etc saying he was
going to be in court for 2 weeks minimum . This does happen in the uk. don't no about every where else,
but he called in said it was a murder case and he was on a 8 week jury case
turned his works mobile of for 8 weeks . and went patong.,
come back and nothing was said, Lucky bastard
lucky he was a ginger so no tan ,

DARBS

[aussie dollar]

had a contractor ring me and say he "had a flat tyre" I expected him to be 1 hour late,2 days later he turned up asked where he had been,
with a straight face he said "I told you I had a flat tyre had to get it fixed"

He doesnt work for me anymore smartarse he was, but made me laugh.

[LivinLOS]

At one point we ran a cowboy construction outfit throughout Europe but mostly Holland.. 400 plus brit contruction workers living in holland with the drugs and prositution etc.. you can imagine the excuses.

My old man ran a big site in the UK years before and they used to have a excuses pot.. When an excuse was tendered if it was an old excuse (this was amoung a bunch who had been there done it and bought the T shirt) they would have to put money in the pot and on hearing a new excuse there would be a winner..

One day one of the country boys turned up late (Barnstable N Devon) on a day of a concrete pour (big hassle) and claimed he was late because he had to give birth to a calf !!! OK I think we have a winner.. Obviously he was assiting at the birth or so you would hope.

[DARBS]

We have another guy who works with us , funnily enough its the brother of the jury service bloke I
spoke about in my last post,
well he's the same as his brother, always off sick
we say its like a Chinese menu today I will give the excuse number 62 ,had no money for the train
73 my dog had to be put down and they don't do it at the weekend,
but 1 of his classics that he's said twice is , I was mugged on my way home lastnight
and had to go polices station in the morning to report it and I was there all day looking at photos
of muggers , come on this guy deserves a medal,

[Dodger]

We had a women work for us that telephoned in one day to say she couldn't come to work because she had been raped, she was off for a week then returned. Of course everyone was really sympathetic and she played this out to the extreme for a month. Then was off for another week because her Doctor had told she had good aids from the rapist and had to go to hospital for tests etc. On her return we all enquired again how she was because of course were now doubly concerned for her. She then told us she had been at hospital all week but lucky for her the tests had all proven negative. When I than asked how come because I thought there was a 3 month incubation period before knowing for certain, her reply was that she had been there all week and paid extra to get her results fast tracked to her becasuse she had been so concerned?? yeah right. We sacked her shortly after this for some other misdemeanour and then was coincidentally talking to her previous employer and he said watch out with this girl because they had fired her because she had claimed to have been raped and aids infected. About 2 months later her new employer contacted asking us if she had ever lied about time off because she had told them exactly the same. How can anyone use this as an excuse three times getting all their work collegues sympathy etc??

[Allybabba22]

Originally Posted by Dodger

We had a women work for us that telephoned in one day to say she couldn't come to work because she had been raped, she was off for a week then returned. Of course everyone was really sympathetic and she played this out to the extreme for a month. Then was off for another week because her Doctor had told she had good aids from the rapist and had to go to hospital for tests etc. On her return we all enquired again how she was because of course were now doubly concerned for her. She then told us she had been at hospital all week but lucky for her the tests had all proven negative. When I than asked how come because I thought there was a 3 month incubation period before knowing for certain, her reply was that she had been there all week and paid extra to get her results fast tracked to her becasuse she had been so concerned?? yeah right. We sacked her shortly after this for some other misdemeanour and then was coincidentally talking to her previous employer and he said watch out with this girl because they had fired her because she had claimed to have been raped and aids infected. About 2 months later her new employer contacted asking us if she had ever lied about time off because she had told them exactly the same. How can anyone use this as an excuse three times getting all their work collegues sympathy etc??

I used to work with a bloke in PC World, Crazy bastard but mad for the drink, Always ringing in sick and numerous different excuses, But his best was his gran died, And then about 2months later his gran died again, And then about 6months later his gran died again

He never even realised he used that excuse before, Because he ringing in sick that much, Anyway the general manager used to do a talk to all the staff about Sales targets and margins every morning before we start work, But at the end of it he told us about Bernard losing his gran, And said to Bernard sorry about your loss etc..etc.... And just as all the staff were walking away to get started... He said by the way Bernard "How many Grannys have you got"...555555555..

He was sacked soon after

[IRISH JONNY]

Jees Why Ring In Sick For Work..............
If I Stayed At Home Sick I Would Be Depressed.... .no Forum....nothing To Do And Would Only Get Paid 90% Of My Wages.............
Ij

[faultytowers]

When I worked in Saudi I had to phone in to say I would not be in to work ,the problem was , I had got drunk in LOS and missed my flight. Luckily my boss was my mate who is married to a Thai and knew exactly what had happened. I arrived back 3 days late and everyone at work asked "How the wedding went", the b*stard had told them all that I was delayed because I got married.

[dawsey]

A former workmate,we nicknamed Pinnochio, used a really wicked excuse to get time off.
Shortly after my mother died of cancer,this guy started asking me questions about certain symptoms,treatments etc and I told him what I knew.

A couple of weeks later,his wife had breast cancer. Well she had a breast removed,was at deaths door ,had more bits chopped off and he was using this for early days, days off all the time. It went on for 6months until another workmate saw him and his wife in town.
She was fit as a butchers dog,two fine breasts and fcuk all wrong with her.
He told us and we didn't spill the beans. He still kept using the excuse until one day he found another.
This time he had a bad shoulder from manual work and kept going to the hospital for physio,and in the end it was his downfall.
He told our boss his doctor had told him he was unfit to work every day of the week,but could work every other day .
Needless to say he was sacked and is now taking the boss to the tribunal for unfair dimissal. He has a shock coming to him if it goes to court.

[ItsmeG]

I had to tell my Boss once that I have to go home as I locked my wife and daughter on the balcony.It really happened,fortunatly i was a nice 26°C Lucky me my wife has no violent tendences

[mikegb]

Originally Posted by ItsmeG

I had to tell my Boss once that I have to go home as I locked my wife and daughter on the balcony.It really happened,fortunatly i was a nice 26°C Lucky me my wife has no violent tendences

Years ago, when I had only been married a couple of days, i told my boss I had to go home to 'let the wife out'.

My boss asked me "Oh, have you locked her in the house by mistake and forgot about her??"

"Sort of, but can I go home to let her out?"

"Sure" he said.

I didnt dare show him the photo of what really happened !

[faultytowers]

Originally Posted by mikegb

I didnt dare show him the photo of what really happened !

Guantanamo Babe.

[the bigboy]

these two brothers called in sick to much ,their boss told them to go to LOS for recovering

[eric-the-viking]

i once booked a holiday to KOS or CORFU that was a day longer than i had holiday allocation left.
so i went and on my last day i called work to say the was a delay at the airport ,sorry nothing i could do , will be back in asap ,then put the phone down and went back to my pool chair and had another beer.

[Tyfon]

There are headlines today about all international flights being banned in the event of a human-humna transmissible bird flu pandemic...

Personally I'm hoping for one to break out, oh, around the first week of January.... If not I might just start the rumour myself...

"Sorry Boss, I'm in quarantine... Where? Soi Seven Beirgarten, can't miss it, full of off-duty nurses... May get transferred to Phuket... it's a sort of a leper colony for people like me..."

[Sirgezza]

This has crossed my mind as well. Don't mind being stuck in LOS, I wonder if I could claim accomodation and expenses on my insurance?