Thailand Expats

LivinLOS · #36 14-03-2007, 09:40

Sorry to be serious in a Denver thread..

But if you put fish in the bottle either dont fill the thing to the neck or get an air bubbler.. Not enough surface area for oxygenation if filled to neck only..

Dodger · #37 14-03-2007, 10:06

Ha!, you think us ol salty sea dogs didn't know that Lil, we've already had that chat and have marked the ROSSO bottle at exactly the optimum point to offer the maximum oxygenating surface area and giving them enough depth of water to be able to see out over the labels. Plus we've noticed if we leave it out on the pation all day it starts to bubble on its own at about 100c, so we can save a few bob not buying one of them thar air bubbler things.

Rosso (wine of Guppy Keepers and Tuna Champions)

LivinLOS · #38 14-03-2007, 10:18

So your gonna empty the ROSSO (drink of guppies and tiddlers) out first then ??

Denver · #39 14-03-2007, 10:30

Dodger obviously has several empty vessels to chose from! Noted with thanks Sef about the oxygen thing, I'll keep an eye on them.

..........and nobody told me the chuffin' market doesn't open until about 2.........This afternoon! I got up in the middle of the night to be there for the Guppy sale.........to be greeted by the field........Where the market is supposed to be!

Managed to retire gracefully to the Kamalalala Bakery for a bacon bap and a cup of coffee.

Did see a sign on the opposite side of the road to the weekly market, the big open area sort of next to Mountain View Bar and Pizza Place which said 'Kamala Precinct coming soon'

Are we Kamalalalalians getting our very own Jungceylon!!!!

LivinLOS · #40 14-03-2007, 11:48

Thinking about it..

Whats the internationally known color symbol for danger / warning ?? What color is Rosso ??

Coincidence ?? I think not !!

(Statement issued by the Sang Som marketing board)

visa2003 · #41 14-03-2007, 15:35

Is the guppy idea sort of over-compensating for the lack of tuna( even tuna flavoured crisps?), or are you just getting lonely for company that will not disclose all the little faux- pas that life throws at us all???

Dodger · #42 14-03-2007, 16:20

Nope he told me that watching guppies swimming aimlessly around in an old bottle of Rosso helps him go to sleep.

He dreamt that up whilst kipping yesterday afternoon.

Denver · #43 14-03-2007, 17:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dodger

Nope he told me that watching guppies swimming aimlessly around in an old bottle of Rosso helps him go to sleep.

He dreamt that up whilst kipping yesterday afternoon.

I have my 'Rossaquarium' made! Sorted!

Guppies @ 5 Baht each. Fish food @ 10 Baht. Oxygenating powder stuff @ 10 Baht. Plastic plants that won't fit in the bottle @ 10 Bahts (I bought 3 - Doh!) Little bottle of water purifier stuff at 15 Baht. Bottle @ Free from Dodgers vast stock and a real plant I nicked out of next door neighbours plant pot @ Stolen = A grand total of 115 Baht for my new Rossaquarium.

Just been watching my likkle fishy friends and feel I might need to go and have a little snoozette!

Denver · #44 14-03-2007, 17:25

PS While I was at the market and purchasing my Guppies, I litterally watched one of the Pirahna they had there, fly out of the tank and land in one of the little Guppie bowls and start chasing them around..........All the kids loved it as the stallholder, a woman of about 200 picked up the Pirahna and popped it back in the relevant tank with a Guppies tail hanging out of it's huge gob.........Brilliant!

Denver · #45 14-03-2007, 17:32

Hang on I think one is sun-bathing on it's back!

Nope, it's OK, it's just having a nap and has swum off again.........Phew!

Dodger · #46 14-03-2007, 17:33

Just been down to tut market for:-

Pirahna @ 12baht
Fish Food @ none required for first week as belly full of guppy's

Ongoing costs =

Fish Food @ none just pop him down for a little swimette in D mans guppynest once a week for a few minutes.

Plants @ don't need any just laid him down in the plant pot as he needed to sleep off his stomach ache.

Water purifier @ not required, bottle previously housed 5 litre of ROSSO, didn't wash it out just let the pirahna loose in the dregs.

Trip to local garden centre to replace my favourite plant that mysteriously disappeared this afternoon @ 200bht

Gotta pop down now to see the guppyquarium, suppose muggins here will have to feed the little feckers while he goes galavanting around europe next month, hope they like bacon sandwiches, can't cook anything else.

visa2003 · #47 14-03-2007, 17:35

Dodger! I mentioned ( in another thread) about putting web cams in other bars, which went down like a lead balloon!!! You haven't got one set up in Denver's apartment, have you?????
I would pay money NOT to see that!!!!

Denver · #48 14-03-2007, 17:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by visa2003

Dodger! I mentioned ( in another thread) about putting web cams in other bars, which went down like a lead balloon!!! You haven't got one set up in Denver's apartment, have you?????
I would pay money NOT to see that!!!!

Ah Ahhhhhhhh!!!! Money spinning idea there Visa me old pal!

I can charge Dodger 110 Baht to visit the Guppyquarium (After I have frisked him at the door for illegal Pirahna) and get my money back. THEN........Take the Guppyquarium on a tour of probably Kamalalala initially (Start off small) and then the.......................World.

I think one has died already.................Nope, Nope.............He's good.

visa2003 · #49 14-03-2007, 17:41

God!!! If you two guys stopped posting, I think I would have to cut my throat!!!!!
This is the funniest Sh*t I have ever read!!!!

kjo2 · #50 14-03-2007, 21:29

I do sooooo agree 555555 - But what about a webcam directed at the guppyquarium - you know like the webcam directed at the coffeepot at Oxford University (for those of you who remembers that long back). You should ofcourse charge a modest monthly fee, to supply for the upkeep of the little buggers.

--------
KJO2

Quote:

Originally Posted by visa2003

God!!! If you two guys stopped posting, I think I would have to cut my throat!!!!!
This is the funniest Sh*t I have ever read!!!!

Denver · #51 15-03-2007, 04:32

I can't believe that I sat in MTB, Hells Bells, Dingos place (Thanks for being in Hat Yai! Tch! Yer Dads a nice bloke though!) Star Trek Bar or something!!! Fcukin' Star Trek..........Oh dear!!! Anyway, back to Tiger (No sign of MT in Love Bar) and the bar next to Wet Dreams and the girl with the Brother with the big tits and then on to Soi San Sabai and the German sausage place with Nicke and Ead and all along I was worried about my little boys...........Bless.......They are having a kip and I have just put the air-con on to see if they are just faking it..........I love my guppyquarium I do!

S1mon left early because Australia were doing them in the cricket!

Dodger · #52 15-03-2007, 12:52

The market trader scammed him as well, I thought I'd heard of the old flick the pirahna into the guppy cage diversion trick before.

Popped down yesterday to see the guppyquarium, and she flogged him, 9 guppys and one soppy, the little soppy is very similar to the guppy's but got different tail and look on its face. It eats its food by picking up a grain of grub too big for its soppy little mouth and speeds towards to the side of the Rosso Tank and smashes it to bits on the side, also takes out half its own face, hence the soppy look on its little scaley chops and big red unblinking eye.

Went out with D man last night to catch up with Simon as he's only here for a little while. And feck all D Mans conversation is centred round, I wonder how soppy is, do you think I should have left the air con on, can we go now, do you think cats can get in my apartment, the pirahna incident must have really shook them up, I should be with my boys, its thier first night alone!!!!

Can see a guppyvent coming soon!!!

K2 · #53 15-03-2007, 14:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denver

(No sign of MT in Love Bar)

He and Lightemup in Cambodia loving it up no doubt!

Denver · #54 16-03-2007, 00:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dodger

Went out with D man last night to catch up with Simon as he's only here for a little while. And feck all D Mans conversation is centred round, I wonder how soppy is, do you think I should have left the air con on, can we go now, do you think cats can get in my apartment, the pirahna incident must have really shook them up, I should be with my boys, its thier first night alone!!!!

Can see a guppyvent coming soon!!!

It was heart-wrenching leaving my boys today to go golfing!

Next time I am going to go with them.

seafox · #55 16-03-2007, 01:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denver

It was heart-wrenching leaving my boys today to go golfing!

Next time I am going to go with them.

Have the caddy carry the guppyquarium, and have Dodger's son carry your clubs. He needs to put some more meat on his bones and that could help. Just make sure you tip the caddy well or you might have a few less fish if she stops for a snack.

The other option is to see if you can buy Rodney Dangerfield's golf bag from the movie Caddyshack off of E Bay. You could probably put the Guppyquarium in there.

Dodger · #56 16-03-2007, 01:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denver

It was heart-wrenching leaving my boys today to go golfing!

Next time I am going to go with them.

Having read and re-read this post Dman I can only conclude that you are informing us that 'your boys', this being a referance to your guppies, went and played golf today.

Interesting.........wonder what they scored, any less than 60 over 9 holes and they can play with us and you can stay home next time!!!!

Denver · #57 16-03-2007, 17:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mai Chob

F@cken funny one Dodge....I was only up to the Tshirt and Bike story last week. I had a good 1 way conversation with Dman at Hells Bells Bar that nite.......one way because I couldnt understand what the b@stard was saying thru the visor of his full face helmet !!!!......Eventually he had a sleep on the lounge there, if you remember ,and it was a relief to be released from the conversation....5555

I had a full-face helmet on Mai Chob bloke because I was actually trying to rob you but it was too much like hard work so decided I needed a little lie down and come back to it later! Jeez.

Just had a minor disaster with a fuel syphon pump thing, a puddle and some guppy poo...........Not good!

I'll fetch a mop

Crustasian · #58 20-03-2007, 02:30

Just in from the over night edition of the KAMALAIAN TRIBUNE:

"Mass out break of Asian Guppy flu hits ROSSO company..

In an area shrouded in secrecy and posible governmental research institutes the area of the metropalian Kamala has been sealed off and all movement of captive fish has been stopped.Anyone leaving the area will be subject to inspection by the Department of Wild and Gay Anglers Association.

If you don't have to travel please stay at home.If you notice any abnormalities in your own fish stocks please phone the emergency hotline listed below."

Denver 80 80 80 at Kamala

visa2003 · #59 20-03-2007, 07:11

I'm sure it's not the flu: they probably just all have hangovers from not cleaning out the flagon first!!!
Or the magnified view of Denpar in his thong, thru the glass, was just too much for them!!!

hornypirate · #60 20-03-2007, 13:35

Best read in a while, Thank's.

Denver · #61 23-03-2007, 10:22

Just dropped the Dodge and the Duncs off at the airport and got the old 'Grumble Belly' while they were checking in for the Bangkok leg. Found the toilets sharpish and there in cubicle two was the drunkest bloke I think I have ever seen at 0900. He has his suit and tie on, stinks of ale and is bouncing off the walls trying to zip himself up! As I came out, two MIBs (with sticks) were just about to pop in there and drag him out. I guess he isn't flying today!

Just to let Dodger know there were no problems coming back to Kamalalala............Well................Apart from the detour into Laguna which is fcukin' maooooosive! The turn right to Surin sign (Near the High end massage place) has been interfered with me thinks. It's a cunning ploy to have you drive round Laguna for twenty minutes trying to find your way out. Good to see one of my old companys are doing the security there and even did an under-vehicle mirror search as I was trying to do a 3-point turn at one of the complex entrances..........Good man, well trained!

Had a slow drive around Kamalalala just to show them I had a big truck, slowed right down outside places they might know me so I could give them a Royal wave..........as you do!

Well the 'Double D's' should be well on thier way to Bangkok right now...........I'm going back to bed for a snoooooooozette...............Oh yes, Gertrude Guppy committed Hari Kari last night by jumping clean out of the 'Guppyquarium.............I think I am down to about eight...........I buried her in an empty tin of tuna that I had later last night................which I thought was quite poetic in a fishy sort of way.

Crustasian · #62 25-03-2007, 21:51

D - you need to put one of your Ena Sharples hairnets over the top to stop them jumping out.

Denver · #63 30-03-2007, 19:24

I was on one of my likkle 'adventures' this afternoon and had a look at a 49 Million Baht villa with a 200 square Meter living room and it's own fishing river, island and waterfalls! A very nice Frenchman is selling it and thought I might be lost.................I was!!!!!

I'm not bothering to rent it, looking for something a bit bigger with a sea view.........Just thought I'd mention it.............Oh and I ran out of petrol on the way back!

LivinLOS · #64 30-03-2007, 21:25

Only 49 !!! If you look out on millionaires mile from Kamalalala to Jomchang theres 2 building I thought were resorts.. I think 1 is 12 bedrooms, they have tunnels under the buildings so service staff dont blight the seaview walking back and forth..

Last time I looked one was +- 5 mil USD..

Cockney John just sold his place in Surin for 120 mil.. The neighbourhood is going to the dogs I tell ya..

Captain · #65 30-03-2007, 21:38

Where is that John his place? Have a friend who owns in Chern Talay, 2 pieces of land with one big house and a guest residence on the other piece.

Denver · #66 30-03-2007, 22:08

I know, there are some bloody beautiful places to be had here.............for a price.

I had a 'near miss' incident with an elephant safari, was too busy looking over fences when the effalumps came past. It was on 'Millionaires Mile' the other day while trying to peek into Laem Son Villas...............'Kin'ell, they are bloody beautiful!

Bluffed my way into Kamala Beach estate by flashing an old Group 4 ID Card (Rock Fish is the room service for this place) and again.............Bloody beautiful. One place is up for grabs but didn't have a suit and tie with me to find out more!

Security guard wouldn't let me into Waterfall Bay estate but from what I could see through the trees, it's the dogs pods. Anyway, I've scratched them off my 'possibles' list until I marry a very wealthy old woman from Northern Sweden I met in the pub this afternoon!

Denver · #67 31-03-2007, 04:39

If anyone is looking for cheap long term accommodation I have just found out the prices for Laem Son Apartments:

Low season: 370K Baht (Yes, 370 thousand!)

High season: 550K Baht

But that's for a whole week, so not so bad!

visa2003 · #68 31-03-2007, 06:29

Denpar...It seems that you do like to start at the top and work your way down!!!
12 bedrooms!!! you would need a MotorCycle just to visit your guests!!!

georgelondon · #69 31-03-2007, 07:02

i got a question...does "rosso" have to be pre booked or is it readily available via the "usual suspects"?

visa2003 · #70 31-03-2007, 08:31

I was just having a thunk and a question arises:_ Is there a different set of rules in LOS when you start talkng REAL money???
What I mean is .... What is the point in spending $US 5 Mil building a house if you can't own the land it's built on????