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#71
31-03-2007, 13:02
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There used to be a clause that said if you invest 40 million you could own a ria.. Not sure if thats gone now or what..
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A closed mouth gathers no feet !!
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#72
01-04-2007, 23:32
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I'll stick to renting for now and not bringing too much stuff over here. I've borrowed a good set of golf clubs..............So look out! I can hit the ball 50-70 yards now..........Noooooooo problem. 
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 "Tiger Daft!"
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#73
01-04-2007, 23:46
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#74
02-04-2007, 00:03
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I'm supposed to be picking him up from the airport in it soon, so best get Mr Garage up here tomollow! Whoa is me............Oh! Whoa is meeeeeee! 
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"Tiger Daft!"
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#75
20-04-2007, 05:30
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A couple more fun-filled happy days in the life of Khun Denpar in the UK!
Only just got back to my house after a brilliant time in Rochdale.......I'll let you guess what has been happening to likkle old moi with a few 'guess the story' hints! 1. A 5 Series BMW 2. A 750 Triumph race bike 3. The West Yorkshire Police with one of them blowy tube meter things! 4. Norwich Union Insurance...............Anyway, it's only money!! All I need now is for Dodger to tell me all my gupsters have drowned! Laters
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"Tiger Daft!"
Last edited by Denver; 20-04-2007 at 05:39.
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#76
20-04-2007, 06:13
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A little fender bender involving a car, a motorcycle, and you. Then a sobriety check after the accident, and a resulting climb in your insurance rate or having to pay your deductible for the crash. Well, D, at least it was not caused by an AK 47, an RPG, or an IED. Maybe you should have Dodger come home with you so that he can chauffer you around. Good luck in the real world.
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variety is the spice of life. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
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#77
20-04-2007, 11:37
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Heh D Man send me pm re, shaun, and other stuff, you know secret stuff that no one else knows about, not even me, or you, or anyone.
Guppies are getting on great with each other, no problems they play together every day, in fact you wouldn't recognise them, their little blue and green faces smiling up at me everyday, smoking the bubble pipe and partying hard. I love having them here sharing my life, my highs and lows, even came to my un-birthday party, didn't buy me any present, nor made much small talk with my friends, not sure if they even enjoyed a quick half hour in the Rosso quarium for old times sake, ungrateful little were wriggly beckers!! Heh, major message, Pete's back 25th, big session of tunarisng going down from then onwards, you heard it here first!!!.
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If I havn't done it already, then i'm gunna do it today.
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#78
20-04-2007, 16:37
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2 got nicked 3done for one too many rosso's 4 won't pay up cus they are twits 
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#79
03-06-2007, 23:37
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#80
04-06-2007, 18:27
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Looks like a "No Win - No Fee" jobbie to me. I have my solicitors on the case but needed to get back out here. So left it thier capable hands and hopefully out of the court. My insurance are dealing with all the other stuff. I'm that naffed off about it Steve, I was losing the will to live mate. Make it all go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, just got my UBC here so things are looking up! Can't wait to see my guppy friends again............They really cheer me up they do.
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"Tiger Daft!"
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#81
04-06-2007, 18:58
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The horror..
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A closed mouth gathers no feet !!
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#83
04-06-2007, 22:50
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__________________
Sting -"tears in waves minds on fire " When a man marries his mistress it creates a job opportunity.”
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#84
05-06-2007, 16:02
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"Tiger Daft!"
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#86
05-06-2007, 17:01
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any sort of advice you need ,just find out at guppies - Your DIRECT INFORMATION SOURCE about show quality guppies, guppy food, guppy supplies
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#87
05-06-2007, 17:05
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Dead Guppy Sketch
The cast: MR. Denver John Cleese SHOP OWNER Michael Palin -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The sketch: A customer enters a pet shop. Mr. Denver: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. (The owner does not respond.) Mr. Denver: 'Ello, Miss? Owner: What do you mean "miss"? Mr. Denver: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint! Owner: We're closin' for lunch. Mr. Denver: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Guppy fish what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Phuket Guppy Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it? Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting. Mr. Denver: Look, matey, I know a dead fish when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable fish, the Phuket Guppy Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful scales! Mr. Denver: The scale don't enter into it. It's stone dead. Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting! Mr. Denver: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the Rosso aquarium) 'Ello, Mister Polly Guppy! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show... (owner hits the cage) Owner: There, he moved! Mr. Denver: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the Rosso bottle! Owner: I never!! Mr. Denver: Yes, you did! Owner: I never, never did anything... Mr. Denver: (yelling and hitting the Rosso bottle repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (Takes fish out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.) Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead fish. Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned! Mr. Denver: STUNNED?!? Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Phuket Guppy Blues stun easily, major. Mr. Denver: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That fish is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged swim. Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the reefs. Mr. Denver: PININ' for the REEFS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home? Owner: The Phuket Guppy Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable fish, id'nit, squire? Lovely scales! Mr. Denver: Look, I took the liberty of examining that fish when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its Rosso bottle cap in the first place was that it had been NAILED there. (pause) Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that fish down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its fish lips, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee! Mr. Denver: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this fish wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised! Owner: No no! 'E's pining! Mr. Denver: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This fish is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the bottle top 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-FISH!! (pause) Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of guppys. Mr. Denver: I see. I see, I get the picture. Owner: I got a slug. (pause) Mr. Denver: Pray, does it talk? Owner: Nnnnot really. Mr. Denver: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!? Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet) Mr. Denver: Well. (pause) Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place? Mr. Denver: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
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Its My Life ..........!
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#88
10-06-2007, 19:13
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K2
You have way too much time on your hands.
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 If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined up!!!   I don't know if I am a Satanist or a Stalinist
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#89
12-05-2008, 14:38
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Hi Denpar!!!!!
Just thought I would drag up an old thread to see how your application to the SAS is going??? You should be on the top of their list at the moment after all the night exercises you have been doing lately....like ....infiltration of the local population (well half anyway!!)  ....evasion of the local paramilitary ...... search and destruction of remote controls .........recruitment of locals for a 5th column (house cleaning!) ......reaching high office in the local community (mod) .......living off the land and lastly .....camouflage as a Thai Soap Opera !!!Let us all know how it's going!!! 
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Here for a good time, not a long time!!!
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#90
12-05-2008, 21:07
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Memory...a side affect of being sober...
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#91
13-05-2008, 00:36
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Noticed the high street was a little less populated tonight Deano, and people were staring with that same look, like startled rabbits gaze at you in your headlights before you mow them down, ...No idea why????????????
Reckon we got to rename the frog flattener?????
__________________
If I havn't done it already, then i'm gunna do it today. Last edited by Denver; 13-05-2008 at 09:47. Reason: Had to go! Sorry!
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#92
13-05-2008, 09:46
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I'd rather it didn't if you don't mind! Too much of my 'washing' gets aired in public for my liking.
As for applying to the SAS, they apply to me. I would never name a Guppy Polly! All their names began with a 'G' (Gertude, Gazza, Gimbal, Grinch Etc)..............Before various BM's killed them off. The remote control is back after a couple of spin cycles, it would appear to have mixed all the channels up as well!
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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....but of course I was verey verey draaank at the taaame!!!
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#100
13-05-2008, 11:48
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She rang me at ten past four in the morning (This morning) to tell me she was hammered on whisky somewhere in Patong and had nowhere to stay or no way of getting back to Kamala. I could hardly make out what she was saying for the party music in the background, so I put her mate from the beauty shop on the line. She soon hung up! ....................Hasn't rung me so far today either!
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"Tiger Daft!"
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#102
14-05-2008, 08:30
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#104
15-05-2008, 16:38
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No they are
Quote:
 5555555555
__________________
If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined up!!! I don't know if I am a Satanist or a Stalinist
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#105
15-05-2008, 22:31
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SAS- wot both (S)aturdays (A)nd (S)undays. Where did the sudden burst of energy come from?
__________________
I don't profess to be right or wrong- I am merely stating MY opinion
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