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#106
16-05-2008, 02:29
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Quote:
__________________
 "Tiger Daft!"
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#107
13-07-2008, 20:03
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Just having a few beers while playing on the net and listening to some music, when I cme across this and thought it would or should be Denpar's theme song .
What do you think??? I'm broke but I'm happy I'm poor but I'm kind I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah I'm high but I'm grounded I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby What it all comes down to Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is giving a high five I feel drunk but I'm sober I'm young and I'm underpaid I'm tired but I'm working, yeah I care but I'm restless I'm here but I'm really gone What it all comes down to Is that everything's gonna be quite alright I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is flicking a cigarette And what it all comes down to Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is giving the peace sign I'm free but I'm focused I'm green but I'm wise I'm hard but I'm friendly baby I'm sad but I'm laughing I'm brave but I'm chickenshit I'm sick but I'm pretty baby And what it all boils down to Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is playing the piano And what it all comes down to my friends Is that everything's just fine fine fine I've got one hand in my pocket And the other one is hailing a taxi cab
__________________
Here for a good time, not a long time!!!
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#108
16-07-2008, 17:25
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Nema Problema our kid. Some of it sums me up quite nicely I reckon!!!!
Who sang it? I know it's a female singer but can't quite remember!
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#109
16-07-2008, 18:03
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Alanis Morrisette.............ya probably won't like it so much now D...555
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#110
16-07-2008, 18:38
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Quote:
French?
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#112
17-07-2008, 19:11
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Dodge, stiff as a bloody board today after that debarcle at Laemsing! I forgot how much of a hike those bloody steps are! In the rain and I fell up them! Different. Need a massage, may have to ring out for one.
Gave 'Green Book' to my man for new registration and insurance (Month out of date! Doh!) I gave the Beergarden a bell and they said I can't have my underpants back as they did find them and they are now at the laundry and are going to used as a new roof for the pool area. Had to shout at rowdy pool revellers at 0400 AGAIN! They are staying in the hotel area of the 'Club' and have their own pool. Noisy B'stards, anybody would think they are on holiday! Tch! No electricity for 6 hours today. Paid rent. Phone calls from Patong, Kamala, Kata BG's (I don't even know any BG's in Kata!) asking to stay over as their bar is shut. Electricity back on, fan on (Nice) kettle on, coffee on, no clothes on, getting dark now.............lights on. I'm cooking tonight! Had these eggs for about 2 months now so time to get them used up. Might treat myself to an early night, bit of telly and a touch of Aircon and maybe that cheeky little new minx from Apple Tree Bar! It's nearly my Birthday! A day in the life of Denpar!
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#113
17-07-2008, 19:35
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#114
17-07-2008, 21:40
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Forgot to mention: Put petrol in the Flattner. Switched phone off. Had a snooze. Washed some pots. Did the mobile phone BG roulette game and 'May' won and got the call. I hope she can iron! Busy day when all said and done!
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#115
18-07-2008, 05:16
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Its a wonder you've got time to scratch yer balls ya lazy git....actually maybe ya didn't...its not on the list...555
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 ....but of course I was verey verey draaank at the taaame!!!
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#116
18-07-2008, 05:47
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Tad annoying when they've been to the beauty salooooon and had those false finger nails stuck on. Try explaining those to the cleaner when she finds 'em in the bed! Hair in the plug hole...........No problem! Talking of the cleaner, she waltzed in without her usual shout of "House-Keepinnnnnnng" on Wednesday this week! Her usual day is Thursday and after 2 in the afternoon! Caught me and 'she who must be obeyed' inflagratio (Or whatever the word is?) but still continued to flick the duster over the telly! "I holiday for Buddha tomollow, I cleaning today" So it was towels on and an embarrassing stand around the living room, having a post coital ciggie while she stripped all the bedding off! Teach me to lock the flyscreen!
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#119
26-07-2008, 04:46
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Anyway, I decided to give them a run out the other day and spied a pesky frog giving it large "Knee-Deep's" on the stairs out of my place and went to punt the pesky blighter over the bar with my right foot, only to end up on my backside because my left flippy had had a blow out! Sole fell off! I immediately proceeded to the Kamalalalalala Flip-Flop and General Merchandise Emporium to enquire on the price of a pair if his finest 'Go-Faster' Patented FF's and he replied 80 Baht! "Got any glue?" says I, "Hab Zoooba Gloooo" says he! - "How much?" says I, "15 Baht" says he..........I bought the Zoooba Gloooo and headed off back to my laboratory. I peirced the glue with the provided pin and proceeded to squeeze the little tube in the direction of my flip flop, nothing happened so I squeezed a little bit harder.....As you do! Anyway, needless to say the contents of the tube ended up on the flip flop, draining board, fridge door, a bit on the wall and my left hand. I placed the loose sole to the other bit and pushed them together, forgetting about the copious amount of residual burning carcenegetic Zoooooba Gloooo on my left hand and realised that my flip flop had now become part of me. I quickly pondered the idea of glueing the other flip flop to my other hand and going surfing, it's got to be beneficial but probably out-lawed in competition. I saw my neighbour and waved at him and before he could say "Hey Denver do you know you've got a fli" - That's were I managed to stop him and say hello but I didn't shake his hand. I'm not that friendly with him and definately not into male bonding. I managed to cut the thing off with a bread knife and some nail clippers and some mild green fairy washing up liquid. I put the FF's under the sofa to bond with the additional weight which it would appear has been succesful in bonding the FF's to the actual sofa! I can deal with that some other time! All is good, flip flops are like new, I'm 65 baht up, which will be my first beer at the Beergarden tomollow! Life is good.
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#121
26-07-2008, 09:44
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this is one of the funniest reads I've had in a long time - lucky I'm at work lah (part of the Singlish I am picking up...)
I will be staying in Karon later in October so might have to pop up to see me mate MC just to find out if all that I/we read is really true ....... or only a small part of the truth .....55555555555555555  ps - hope the guppy's will still be alive ....????
__________________
A kid asked his teacher what sex was. the teacher said "Oh so you're married too?"
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#122
27-07-2008, 14:29
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Denpah really has got a bit of flip flop stuck to his hand.... But the guppies have been replaced by Catfish as Catfish handle neglect a lot more philosophically. Dunno how he and Dodge are gonna get em out of the wine flagons but.... PS Dodger is spreading a nasty rumour that I had a sleep-over in Patong the other night and thats NOT TRUE..............didnt sleep at all!!
__________________
Memory...a side affect of being sober...
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#123
27-07-2008, 22:54
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Today I have mainly been cleaning up the blood in the kitchen and trying to fix my Denpa sized rip in the fly screen that mysteriously appeared during the night after I woke up fully dressed with a slice of toast stuck to my forehead.
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#124
27-07-2008, 23:59
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#128
29-07-2008, 06:28
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Quote:
__________________
....but of course I was verey verey draaank at the taaame!!!
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#129
29-07-2008, 18:11
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Friends,Romans....
Quote:
__________________
 If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined up!!!   I don't know if I am a Satanist or a Stalinist
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#130
29-07-2008, 18:45
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So funny....nothing better than the another episode of the life and times..or is it as the stomach turns...No worries plenty more exciting bits to come to the big screen soon enough.
I really enjoyed the flipflop episode, it one ups the guy that stepped on a pop top....way to go D.
__________________
J.K. Livin Heywood
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#131
29-07-2008, 19:24
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Quote:
I was having a quick flick over of the old chops and spied a straggler on my right bit of bacon. I aimed the razor using the mirror and forgot the reverse angle trajectory reflection factor and sliced through the lobe bit and gave a incy tincy wince like a big girl. Then the blood started! Half a toilet roll later and it is still pouring down my cheek and I am meeting Dodge, MC and the gang in about ten. I found a sticky plaster in my "Box of all things that might eventually be useful" and stuck it on, missing the bleeding cut bit as I had tried to stick it on while looking in the mirror..................Again! Anyway, I needed beer and decided to wait for my lift to Patong at Bamboo Bar where a girl served me with a Tiger and I noticed she had a small plaster just under her bottom lip! Ha Haaaaaaaaa! A new peircing thinks I! "You hab new peircing?" I ask in my bestest Thai! As I point to the plaster under her lip and gently touch my still bleeding ear and look at the claret on my fingers. She gives me the 'Special' BG vacant look, says "I not know how you say" and shouts over to her mate playing pool. A few words are exchanged while she looks at me and then her mate shouts back at me across the bar................. ...............ZIT! That's when Mai Chob turned up!
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#132
29-07-2008, 19:32
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Quote:
 
__________________
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers. (Universal Declaration of Human Rights)
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#134
30-07-2008, 04:47
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#135
30-07-2008, 17:13
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I prefer
Quote:
__________________
If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined up!!! I don't know if I am a Satanist or a Stalinist
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#136
30-07-2008, 17:45
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55555555 a very funny read Mr D!!!!!!
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#137
01-08-2008, 04:15
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Today, I have mainly been confused by the quite 'tall' lady that now doesn't work at Mountain View!!!
I think it's sorted out now. 232 texts later and a flying visit to her new bar (It's her day off and she wasn't there! Doh!) I had been to her old bar and bumped into an old flame who asked who I was looking for! "Ermmmm Just looking!".............Sharp exit! Open that clutch Baby! Eventually arrived at 10:30 and she left at 2 to go "Dancing with my Friends" at Chang. Whatever. Anyway, I'm up 500 Baht up as it was only ST (I'd budgeted for LT) so I can go out and buy bread and jam tomollow, maybe a tin of beans! Sod the expense. Life is good.
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
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#139
03-08-2008, 04:59
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Quote:
I decided to kill 3 birds with one stone and do everything I needed to do in my current favourite 50 meters. 50 Meters bordered by Apple Tree bar to the left and the 7-11 on the corner to the right. I had put a deposit down last night on another bullet takrut with 'Amulet Man' who plys his trinkets from the restaurant next to Apple Tree bar, then proceed to the bread emporium. Much bartering later (I managed to get him to throw in the chain for free!) I spied a cute young lady eating at said eatery and said hello. We exchanged a few laughs, she explaining that she had just got back from 5 hours (5 Hours!!!) at Patong Gym (and it showed) and me explaining back to her that I hadn't! Then she said she liked Pom Poi men, KerrrChing! That's when I ordered a full-leaded coke and proceeded to pop two sugars into the bottle! Amulet Man grabbed me and said "She no hab boyfriend velly nice she" or something like that. I smelt the waft of my favourite MMG and decided sod the Peanut butter I'm ordering that and did While 'Gym Girl' stroked my tummy..s! I'm good like that, let them if they want to, tell them it's lucky etc. At this point a 'certain' girl at Apple Tree bar was giving me the 'evil eye' treatment through the sparse bushes that seperate these two establishments. Then my phone rang and it was the cashier at Apple Tree reminding me that I owed her a drink and that she knew I was talking to 'Gym Girl' next door! My MMG arrived and I ordered another full fat coke to be on the safe side. It was delicious as usual and so was the company. I still needed smokes so made my excuses and set off to the 7-11 some 40 meters away. Before I had got 5 meters I was joined by 'Certain' girl and the cashier from Apple Tree and on passing Geckos was also joined by Pa and Aum from that establishment who I had been chatting to the previous night. All I needed now was the Benny Hill theme tune, for all of us to walk at double speed and for a bald man appear for me to pat on the head in a comedy way! I managed to lose them at cosmetics (They were buying, not me!) got my L&M Dang and headed back to 'Gym Girl' and listened to the "Tuts" as the Apple Tree girls headed slowly past me and back to the bar. We exchanged numbers and I made an excuse of having to be up early as I had no power..............in my motorbike and erm.......had to be at the garage very early etc!! I had actually been to Angels for a very special massage this afternoon and really, really had no power for this girl who spends bloody 5 hours at a time in a gym! All in all a good night. I pee'd off several girls, had a yummy MMG, got a new phone number, will have peanut butter on toast (After I pick the ants out of it) for breakfast at about 2 this afternoon. Then ring 'Gym Girl' and ask if she is all sweaty and things, if not, why not and tell her I can make her all sweaty and hot if she wants..................I've a ton of ironing!
__________________
"Tiger Daft!"
Last edited by Denver; 03-08-2008 at 05:14.
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#140
03-08-2008, 07:59
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Quote:
(and a step ladder)
__________________
A closed mouth gathers no feet !!
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