Rules For Expats?

[easyrider_au]

Firstly, I must say that this a copy & paste from pattayaaddicts.com, by a member called Ratchada & I have his permission to post it here.

OK, as you know I'm not an expat....But I'd be curious to hear what the guys living in Phuket have to say about these " rules"

IMO the OP has some good points....I'm all for listening & learning from those that are "on the ground" (pardon the pun Geir)
Anyways, see what you lot think.

Everyone’s always posting “rules for newbies,” so I thought for a change I’d take a stab at some “rules for expats”. Disclaimers: I’ve only been living in Thailand 5 ½ years, and of course I have my own personal tastes and preferences, so everyone’s mileage will definitely vary, and no doubt other expats won’t agree with some of what I have to say…also, these rules and observations are based not just on my own experiences, but also the experiences of friends and acquaintances, some of whom have not done very well here…so perhaps we can all learn by their experiences. Suffice it to say that I have not followed all my “rules” to the letter either, haha.

Also, I left out the ones I feel are “no-brainers,” such as “don’t do drugs here” (other than alcohol), “adopt Thai standards of hygiene” (bathe at least twice a day!!), and “never get in a fight with a Thai”…though those all really apply to every farang in Thailand, including the visitors. The 10 “rules” below are geared specifically to those who have chosen to live here long-term.

1. Avoid GoGo Bars. GoGo Bars are set up to drain as much cash as possible from your pocket in a short amount of time, with minimal “return” for you. They are made for tourists with limited amounts of time and tons of cash to spend in Thailand. They can be your downfall when you live here. If you must, visit them in moderation, such as when you have out-of-town visitors to entertain. I much prefer bar beers and diddle bars, you really get to choose a girl more wisely and in general get more bang for your buck and time spent in the bar.

2. Don’t Drink Beer. …if at all possible. If you must drink, drink mixed drinks. Nothing lays on the pounds like beer, and it’s so easy in this climate to suck down many of them every night. Back in the US, I was usually just fine with 5 or 6 bottles a night; after several years here it’s gotten to be more like 10-15. If you must drink large quantities of beer, then by all means…

3. Exercise! Of course, you should do this even if you don’t drink. Go to the gym, walk, run, learn Muay Thai, whatever, but it’s essential to get a regular regimen set up and to stick to it! Myself, after several years of inactivity (during which I gained some 30 pounds!) I now walk 4-8 miles a day in the park, at a very rapid pace (15 min. a mile), every day. I lost all the pounds by just not drinking for 3 months, and even though I’m back to it now, the walking offsets the beer very nicely.

4. Learn to Speak Thai. If you’ve lived here over a year and you can’t converse in basic Thai, that’s pretty pathetic. Think about how you feel about foreigners who go to live in your country, are there for years, and never try to learn the language. Don’t be that person. Plus, speaking Thai has many benefits: it causes Thais to respect you more and treat you better (more like a person and less like a walking ATM), it helps you get out of jams more easily, and you really get to know the girls…believe it or not, sometimes they really do have interesting things to say. It also helps you respect the girls more, because you hear them speaking a language in which they can actually express themselves with some finesse and subtlety, not just baby-talk English.

5. Do Not Get a Girlfriend. Let me qualify this one: do not get a girlfriend from the low-educated working class, and that by definition includes all bar girls. If you must get a girlfriend, find an educated Thai, preferably who has been educated in the West. Otherwise, the barriers to a lasting, meaningful relationship are just too great: their world view will be just too different from yours. But really, girlfriends here are best to avoid altogether. Get a few regular lovers/”giks” set up; you won’t spend as much money as you would just pulling bar girls all the time, and you’ll still be free to play (not sneak) around when you want to. Above all, avoid live-in girlfriends like the plague, unless you speak the same language fluently. AND you’re willing to be considered someone’s property, and have your freedom seriously curtailed.

6. Don’t Have Babies with Thai Women You Aren’t Married To. Yeah, I know, this should fall under the “no brainer” category (with its cousin, “wear a ****ing condom!), but some guys apparently need to be told this. Really, there are few stupider things you could do here.

7. Do Something Constructive! I know several guys who are living here on inheritances, and some of them are blowing through them really fast. They do nothing but go out. If you’re going to be here long-term, you really need to DO something meaningful here. Luckily for me, my field is Southeast Asian languages, so this is the perfect location for me, even though I am paid by a university back in the States. I’ve gone out a lot—too much—in my time here, but I also have many accomplishments to make me feel good; I’ve written four books since I’ve been here, and I teach English to bar girls as a volunteer. Whatever you do, do something other than just **** and drink.

8. Eat Thai Food Most of the Time. Sure, you miss your favorite farang food, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy it once in a while…but Thai food is so varied, so cheap, and (most of it) so much better for you than farang fare, why not take advantage of it? It really is one of the best things about living here. Personally, I don’t really like Central Thai food, and only eat it a few times a month, but there’s plenty of other variety here: Lao (Isan) food, Southern Thai food, Northern Thai food, and that’s what I eat most of the time.

9. Get Away Once in A While. If you’re going to be here for years, you need to spend a few months of each of those years outside Thailand. Personally, I get to the point where I want to “go postal” and take a high-powered rifle and start picking off Thais in the mall (I’m kidding!!!) after about 6 straight months here…you know, just dealing with the incompetence, laziness and lying day after day, trying to walk down the sidewalk at a normal pace and getting stuck behind some imbecile walking like a snail, and taking a step to either side for every three steps forward…all you ex-pats know exactly what I’m talking about. Luckily I get to go back and teach in the States for 2 ½ months every year. And beyond that, I take “breaks” in Cambodia and Laos, where the people are much more laid-back (and non-arrogant)…makes a big difference.

10. Learn Some Thai History. Thais don’t know shit about the history of their own country…there’s no reason you have to be the same. Did you know that Thais are the “newcomers” to mainland Southeast Asia? Did you know that the monarchy almost completely disappeared in the period from the 1930s to 1950s, and that it achieved its present cult-like status due in large part to the massive cash support of corrupt dictators by the US (dictators who were willing to raise up the monarchy as an anti-communist symbol)? Did you know that Thais have only been rising for that song in theaters and standing still for the national anthem like they do, and posting pictures of the King everywhere for just 50 years? That they’ve only been talking the way they do (“sawatdee” “khrap” “khaa”) for 50-60 years? That most of this country was forest (not rice farms) before the 1960s, and especially before the 20th Century? If anything, learning about Thai history keeps you from believing all the bullshit that the Thais are brainwashed into believing about who they are and what Thailand is. Read “A History of Thailand” by Chris Baker and Pasuk Phongpaichit and have your eyes opened.

ratchada

[The Loop]

Thats a very well constructed and thought out list of rules and i would agree with all of them 100% except for No. 1.

I happen to enjoy the different entertainment aspect of go go bars.
More so Pattaya than Phuket.
The hands on aspect is great.
So if i buy a drink for a girl there i always make sure i get my moneys worth out of them.

Sure the girls will try and suck the money out of you but beer bars are the same and people are starting to wake up to the worst offenders and steering clear,and lets face it how many games of connect 4 does it take to get bored with it.

[LivinLOS]

1. Avoid GoGo Bars. GoGo Bars are set up to drain as much cash as possible from your pocket in a short amount of time, with minimal “return” for you. They are made for tourists with limited amounts of time and tons of cash to spend in Thailand. They can be your downfall when you live here. If you must, visit them in moderation, such as when you have out-of-town visitors to entertain. I much prefer bar beers and diddle bars, you really get to choose a girl more wisely and in general get more bang for your buck and time spent in the bar.

So what ?? they are fun.. Maybe the converse rule of "Avoid advice from long stay balloon chasers on limited budgets"..

2. Don’t Drink Beer. …if at all possible. If you must drink, drink mixed drinks. Nothing lays on the pounds like beer, and it’s so easy in this climate to suck down many of them every night. Back in the US, I was usually just fine with 5 or 6 bottles a night; after several years here it’s gotten to be more like 10-15. If you must drink large quantities of beer, then by all means…

I guess.. Kinda basic.. Drink what you like to drink..

3. Exercise! Of course, you should do this even if you don’t drink. Go to the gym, walk, run, learn Muay Thai, whatever, but it’s essential to get a regular regimen set up and to stick to it! Myself, after several years of inactivity (during which I gained some 30 pounds!) I now walk 4-8 miles a day in the park, at a very rapid pace (15 min. a mile), every day. I lost all the pounds by just not drinking for 3 months, and even though I’m back to it now, the walking offsets the beer very nicely.

Yes but I dont.

4. Learn to Speak Thai. If you’ve lived here over a year and you can’t converse in basic Thai, that’s pretty pathetic. Think about how you feel about foreigners who go to live in your country, are there for years, and never try to learn the language. Don’t be that person. Plus, speaking Thai has many benefits: it causes Thais to respect you more and treat you better (more like a person and less like a walking ATM), it helps you get out of jams more easily, and you really get to know the girls…believe it or not, sometimes they really do have interesting things to say. It also helps you respect the girls more, because you hear them speaking a language in which they can actually express themselves with some finesse and subtlety, not just baby-talk English.

Depends on your desire to integrate into Thai life.. The longer I am here the more I realize I want nothing to do with 'real Thailand'.. I am here for the expats, the bars, the climate. I can enjoy my life 99% of the time without any Thai required.

5. Do Not Get a Girlfriend. Let me qualify this one: do not get a girlfriend from the low-educated working class, and that by definition includes all bar girls. If you must get a girlfriend, find an educated Thai, preferably who has been educated in the West. Otherwise, the barriers to a lasting, meaningful relationship are just too great: their world view will be just too different from yours. But really, girlfriends here are best to avoid altogether. Get a few regular lovers/”giks” set up; you won’t spend as much money as you would just pulling bar girls all the time, and you’ll still be free to play (not sneak) around when you want to. Above all, avoid live-in girlfriends like the plague, unless you speak the same language fluently. AND you’re willing to be considered someone’s property, and have your freedom seriously curtailed.

Pattaya sounding advice.. Gets boring hopping off one and onto another fast enough. Take the time to select a partner whos company you genuinely enjoy would be high on my list tho.

6. Don’t Have Babies with Thai Women You Aren’t Married To. Yeah, I know, this should fall under the “no brainer” category (with its cousin, “wear a ****ing condom!), but some guys apparently need to be told this. Really, there are few stupider things you could do here.

Obvious if you dont want them.. Equally obviously wrong if you do.

7. Do Something Constructive! I know several guys who are living here on inheritances, and some of them are blowing through them really fast. They do nothing but go out. If you’re going to be here long-term, you really need to DO something meaningful here. Luckily for me, my field is Southeast Asian languages, so this is the perfect location for me, even though I am paid by a university back in the States. I’ve gone out a lot—too much—in my time here, but I also have many accomplishments to make me feel good; I’ve written four books since I’ve been here, and I teach English to bar girls as a volunteer. Whatever you do, do something other than just **** and drink.

Different strokes for different folks.. Sure you need interests and activities but those should come naturally from what you like.

8. Eat Thai Food Most of the Time. Sure, you miss your favorite farang food, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy it once in a while…but Thai food is so varied, so cheap, and (most of it) so much better for you than farang fare, why not take advantage of it? It really is one of the best things about living here. Personally, I don’t really like Central Thai food, and only eat it a few times a month, but there’s plenty of other variety here: Lao (Isan) food, Southern Thai food, Northern Thai food, and that’s what I eat most of the time.

Never understand this.. Unless from the "too cheap to afford a meal' category.. I like Thai but I also liek to sample everything from mex and sushi through to a UK roast or a pasta or whatever. Thais great but its about choice and selection. Again another reason why I have no interest in being outside of the tourist / westernized zones.

9. Get Away Once in A While. If you’re going to be here for years, you need to spend a few months of each of those years outside Thailand. Personally, I get to the point where I want to “go postal” and take a high-powered rifle and start picking off Thais in the mall (I’m kidding!!!) after about 6 straight months here…you know, just dealing with the incompetence, laziness and lying day after day, trying to walk down the sidewalk at a normal pace and getting stuck behind some imbecile walking like a snail, and taking a step to either side for every three steps forward…all you ex-pats know exactly what I’m talking about. Luckily I get to go back and teach in the States for 2 ½ months every year. And beyond that, I take “breaks” in Cambodia and Laos, where the people are much more laid-back (and non-arrogant)…makes a big difference.

Agree.. Lots to see and do around the region, I am getting to feel the need to have time away more and more.

10. Learn Some Thai History. Thais don’t know shit about the history of their own country…there’s no reason you have to be the same. Did you know that Thais are the “newcomers” to mainland Southeast Asia? Did you know that the monarchy almost completely disappeared in the period from the 1930s to 1950s, and that it achieved its present cult-like status due in large part to the massive cash support of corrupt dictators by the US (dictators who were willing to raise up the monarchy as an anti-communist symbol)? Did you know that Thais have only been rising for that song in theaters and standing still for the national anthem like they do, and posting pictures of the King everywhere for just 50 years? That they’ve only been talking the way they do (“sawatdee” “khrap” “khaa”) for 50-60 years? That most of this country was forest (not rice farms) before the 1960s, and especially before the 20th Century? If anything, learning about Thai history keeps you from believing all the bullshit that the Thais are brainwashed into believing about who they are and what Thailand is. Read “A History of Thailand” by Chris Baker and Pasuk Phongpaichit and have your eyes opened.

Agree here.. But I tend to have an interest in contemporary history of anywhere I spend time.. Just makes sense to try to understand the mental makeup of the people.

[luv u long time]

Im not an expat, i wish i was. But the rules put by this bloke sound pretty good and right even for us guys that come to LOS for 3-4 months a year.... and i also agree with some points made by LivingLOS, but all in all i think it very well written.....

[Crustasian]

His rules are mainly how to live here as cheaply as possible.

He goes back to the states for two and half months a year and and works teaching to get his money.It sounds like he has come to Asia to extend his studies rather than get a real job in the States.

I don't speak Thai but do have a regular live in Thai GF that does not speak English.I drink where I want and eat what I fancy.

The only point I agree on is that regular exercise will off set the beer intake.

[Hobbsy]

what Sefton said.

didn't agree with most of that list for similar reasons. sounds more like rules for backpackers who want to live here forever.

[ATMwalking]

F*cking retarded. I'm not sure if the list is the most pathetic part, the fact a teacher took time to write something so sad, any actual expat would actually think this is helpful (not direct at Easy), or that I wasted 30 seconds to skim through it.

Here is a suggestion to non-expats...don't be a f*cking retard. Keep some sense about you like you probably had where you came from. you'll do just fine. but i do tend to agree with LIL.

[Denver]

I prefer suggested guidelines as opposed to Rules.

I've managed well enough in my 29.........and a half years.........Cough! Without living by what others may suggest.

Well, apart from the 25 years in the Army, but that doesn't count.........OK!

Chris, you have just earned yourself a beer..................Well said.

[cybernator_uk]

Not an expat so really can't comment but there were some points made by LIL I did agree with. Eat Thai food... WTF. I'm starting to eat more and more but it doesn't kill the cravings for a decent cheeseburger, LOL.

Also point number 5 makes me laugh. Not because it isn't true but because I can see some truth in what the guy says.

Although things with Jaun are ok, I'm noticing if I go out (like now to an internet cafe) after 30 minutes "Where are you? what you do? When you come home?"

Ok, I'm at an internet cafe and I'll come home when you've finished watching shitty Thai TV, which is totally boring." God there's only so much PSP I can play and how many times can you watch Black Hawk Down on a UMD before it gets boring?

The other thing I like to do is walk. She hates it. Fine, I have 30 minutes or so on my own. Ring ring "Where are you? Why you go walk, you no care me? you think bad me, you?"

"NO, because I like to go out and walk and do stuff."

Just made me laugh.

[The Loop]

I haven`t been here as long as a lot of the expats here,but i have seen some pics of them from a couple of years ago(wont mention any names).

Most that i have seen were much thinner and youthful looking( i know people dont lose weight and look younger as they get older).

In my first 6 months here i actually managed to lose 5 kilos through a fairly consistent excercise program of gym,swimming,walking,go karting,boom booming,golf and a strict diet of thai food.

These activities also occupied my mind.

I did drink a lot of beer though and after a thorough checkup back home found i had a slightly abnormal liver function,which has since has gone back to normal after cutting back on beer and drinking the odd mixer these days.


The Thai diet is great,just look at the beautiful thin TG`s around the place.

I have also had a good look around Thailand as well as a trip to Europe.

Anyone who has put on a lot of weight in a short period of time has got to be putting a lot of strain on their heart.

Health and fitness is vital,IMO.

[Soupdragon]

IMO the best advice for prospective expats is to spend time with other like minded expats, talk to them, more importantly listen to them, to take this sort of advice from ????? will not do you any favours. Horses for courses sort of thing.

[Simbo]

Everything in moderation, with the occasional excess is the best way to be long term. Have some sort of structure to your day but don't be a slave to it. It's like chocolate- if you eat it every day the novelty wears off. Variety is the Spice of life- Phet Mak Mak!

[LivinLOS]

In fact when you listen to his advice..

Dont drink beer.. Dont go into gogo's.. Exersize.. Dont have a girlfriend.. especially dont have a kid unmarried.. Do something constructive.. Learn the language and history..

I mean Mother... Is that you ?? Sounds like a right bundle of laughs this one.

[Soupdragon]

Originally Posted by LivinLOS

In fact when you listen to his advice..

Dont drink beer.. Dont go into gogo's.. Exersize.. Dont have a girlfriend.. especially dont have a kid unmarried.. Do something constructive.. Learn the language and history..

I mean Mother... Is that you ?? Sounds like a right bundle of laughs this one.

All ready broken all the rules. Oh well sh1t happens.

[ub2yoo]

Originally Posted by LivinLOS

In fact when you listen to his advice..

Dont drink beer.. Dont go into gogo's.. Exersize.. Dont have a girlfriend.. especially dont have a kid unmarried.. Do something constructive.. Learn the language and history..

I mean Mother... Is that you ?? Sounds like a right bundle of laughs this one.

Maybe it means you should become a or an as well and forget about and ...

[Soupdragon]

Maybe the 11th Commandment comes into play here "Tho Shalt Not Get Caught" Works well in my experience.

[sishow]

Originally Posted by LivinLOS

In fact when you listen to his advice..

Dont drink beer.. Dont go into gogo's.. Exersize.. Dont have a girlfriend.. especially dont have a kid unmarried.. Do something constructive.. Learn the language and history..

I mean Mother... Is that you ?? Sounds like a right bundle of laughs this one.

Sounds to me like that crap Baz Lehmann song from a few years back, 'Sunburn' I think.

[LivinLOS]

He he the sun screen rant / advice.. Given by some College guy to a class of kids leaving IIRC.. I actually really like that.

Be kind to your knees.. You'll miss them when there gone !!

[dogblower]

Attributed to Kurt Vonnegut in a commencement address to the graduating class at MIT in 1997 but more likely written by Mary Schmich, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune.

[Hobbsy]

I think I have seen the author of this list walking around.

he does yoga every morning and wears the loose white cotton 'blouse' with baggy cotton trousers and sash bag.

like all "non-conformists" he manages to conform to the "enlightened traveller" stereotype.

[LivinLOS]

Originally Posted by dogblower

Attributed to Kurt Vonnegut in a commencement address to the graduating class at MIT in 1997 but more likely written by Mary Schmich, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune.

Vonne