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#1
07-11-2005, 22:37
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Witty responses to annoying touts
Tuktuk drivers and touts are an annoyance we all have to accept in Thailand but few can resist the occasional retort to the mindless chants of "Taxi!", "Where you go?", and "Sexy ladies!".
Since there are times when perhaps the heat gets to me and I've just got to smart-mouth some of these guys (never in a dark alley), I'm interested to hear some of the more hilarious things members have said to Patong's largest indigenous mosquitoes. This topic came up over dinner with my wife when I was struck by an epiphany (which I hope to try out asap). This one plays on the Thai fear of ghosts in post-tsunami Patong. When a tuktuk driver offers a ride, point at the empty rear seat and say, "Hey, you have three customers already!", and continue walking. Best at night.... 
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#2
07-11-2005, 22:57
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Not a good idea , especially with the Tsunami anniversary coming up. 
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Member of Phuket Hash House Harriers
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#3
07-11-2005, 23:19
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I often talk back at them in a language not english (dutch or spanish) even though I only know a few words.. Just keep telling them (in Dutch) you dont speak english..
This backfired on me once in Burma when a group of street kids were bugging me and I was giving them "Il no hablo englese" and one of the little raggamuffins come back with "Ah su Italiano.. Bueno.. etc" Shit !! busted..
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Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#4
08-11-2005, 00:19
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I have a feeling you would be hoping your Board nickname rang true if you tried that one! Definately go for the smaller, frail, sickly looking Tuk Tuk driver who is on his own some where and build up to the biggest, hardest-looking Tuk Tuk driver with the broken nose that you can find in amongst the group at the end of Bangla!! OK OK, I am taking the P1ss but I would definately listen to what Mr Faulty has to say, it might be a tad insensitive considering which anniversary is coming up next month. You may indeed need to be Mr Lucky! Pay the man his 50 baht, it's less than a quid (We never usually argue the toss of the price of a taxi in our own countries! or is that because we know we are going to get some hassle and a bit of verbal back?).......Anyway, if it's a lovely night and you have your arm around a beautiful lady such as your wife or BG then walk, nothing is that far in Patong! Personally, I would drop the Ghost rebuttle Mr Lucky!
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The idea is to die young.........as late as possible. 
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#5
08-11-2005, 01:36
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 be carefull when you speak your native language , some times i like to joke a little bit and order or speak only in dutch,one day on samui the same joking a little bit in dutch , the bar lady spoke to me back in fluent dutch .she lived there for 5 years about 20 drive from my house , and knew a lot of my thai friends so i was BUSTED but we had a good time tho.
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 I am soon in a bar near u  my tiluc is so far awaytiluc kid tung mak mak jing jing khap
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#6
08-11-2005, 04:06
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Hmmm Mr Biggs, Not so sure of smart mouthing a Tuk Tuk driver at present if any of those rumours on the Death of the Farang by stabbing/suicide thread have any truth to them............ I must say that on one of my first vists to BKK many moons back we were staying in Patpong and there was this guy who always hassled us about seeing one of those pu$$y shows every evenning when we walked out of the hotel...............we of course always politely declined his offer After a couple of nights we started to get a little more inventive with the answers until on about the 4th night I said to him that I was not really interseted unless the pu$$y could cook diner for 6 as we were on our way out for dinner with friends............ Anyway sure enough the next night he saw us from across the street he saw us and without missing a beat shouted accross the road............Hey Mister...Come see pu$$y cook dinner for 6
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#7
08-11-2005, 04:12
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No need to say anything, just walk past them. If you feel that you need to indicate to them that your not interested, just raise your hand and just keep walking past them.
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#8
08-11-2005, 04:17
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__________________
The idea is to die young.........as late as possible.
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#9
08-11-2005, 05:13
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I once told a tailor on beach rd who was very persistant that I was a farmer back in england and therefore had no need to buy a suit
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#10
08-11-2005, 20:32
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Do it with a smile
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Aw, you're no fun! Do you mean to tell me that after you've been accosted by hundreds of touts/taxis/tailors, you've never had the urge to play with their heads a bit? Like anything in Thailand, it's all fun and games if you do it with a grin on your face.
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#11
08-11-2005, 20:37
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Yes , but if you pick the wrong one at the wrong time , you may end up with more than a grin on your face . What is funny for Farangs may be insulting or offensive for Thais. 
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Member of Phuket Hash House Harriers
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#12
08-11-2005, 20:42
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That's a great idea and I gotta try it when I get there, thou I encountered one once that knew a few in spanish but by far enough to substain a conversation nor make the sell If you want more lines just let me know and I'll give you some... 
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The man who said "A bird in the hand's worth two in the bush" has been putting his bird in the wrong bushes. Last edited by Latino4life : 08-11-2005 at 20:46.
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#13
08-11-2005, 21:10
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Righto, I'llio Geto meo coatio..........El Taxio is hero!!Only Kidding Latino 
__________________
The idea is to die young.........as late as possible.
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#14
08-11-2005, 21:15
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Or a permenant grin on your face
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LIFES A BIT*H THEN U MARRY 1 
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#15
08-11-2005, 21:26
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Worked out OK until 1 bright spark tried to get me interested in buying his cloth!
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"管它黑貓白貓，會抓老鼠的就是好貓"
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#16
09-11-2005, 13:22
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Actually you're quite right thou it's not always an "o" sometimes it could be an "e" but mostly an it's "a"... Like this:air = aire mascot = mascota carol = carola pistol = pistola arm (as in weapon) = arma masculist = masculista petrol = petroleo materilism = materialismo
__________________
The man who said "A bird in the hand's worth two in the bush" has been putting his bird in the wrong bushes.
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#17
09-11-2005, 22:00
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Unless it is a female noun. Then it would be an 'A' at the end of the verb. Not sure what a BOB would be. Gracias Gezo
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#19
09-11-2005, 22:16
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tuk-tuk drivers are now lower than tailors in my book.
Sick of the thieving greedy ratbags, they all (most) come up from down south and throw their weight around. Loads of local taxibikes etc can't stand them. They will try to overcharge you any chance they get. They don't give a rat's **** about your safety on the journey either. Be careful by all means but do not let them bully you into a fair you think is unjust. At the end of the day your paying to sit in a rusty tin no more confortable than a shopping trolley. ..... ..... .....hey .....just had an idea for a new business.... ...../me goes to Tesco Lotus....
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#20
09-11-2005, 22:24
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Quote:
IJ
__________________
one life.......live it.......tomorrow never comes......
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#21
09-11-2005, 22:26
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Quote:
__________________
one life.......live it.......tomorrow never comes......
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