 |
|
|
#1
18-11-2005, 18:32
|
|||
|
|||
|
Total Confusion
I was involved in an unpleasant experience of being fought over the other night by two girls. Although my initial reaction was quite flattering, nevertheless what I witnessed was rather disturbing since it was never my intention to hurt anyone.
I have spent one night with this one girl previously, whom I shall call her Dee. We met via one of the fellow BM, no sex was involved that night since she was rather drunk and we just slept in the hotel. I have text her the next day saying I would like to get to know her better but I did not receive any reply from her. Two nights later I saw her again at one of the clubs where she usually hangs out at, we said hello to each other and she introduced her two friends to me. I bought them some drinks and we proceed to go to Safari. After more drinks have arrived, Dee and one of her friend began to walk around the club, which seemed to me that they were looking for potential customers, and I was left with the other of her friend, Jee. At this point I began to think that perhaps she was trying to set me up with this friend, which was okay with me since Jee looks to me a nice girl and Dee, although very pretty, appears to be quite harden, and Jee appears kind and untamed from the patong nightlife. About 10 mins later Dee and her friend went up to the indoor bar, without informing me, and I was again left with Jee, whom I was beginning to fall for. After a bit Dee came up to me and asked me if I wanted to take Jee home, I said yes because I truly thought it was a setup and having her asking me seems to confirmed my earlier guess. So Jee and I talked some more while she did show signs that she liked me, she seem hesistated about leaving with me, told me that she has never done this before. I said it was okay with me, if she just wanna talk and watch tv it's all fine by me. Sex isn't a necessity for me, companionship with another kindred spirit is what I value more. That seemed to reassure her a little. So I suggested perhaps we could go up to the indoor bar to be with her friends, I was thinking that talking with her frineds might provide her with some reasurance, that however turn out to be a disastrous move. Once inside the indoor bar Jee started talking to her friend while Dee with talking to another girl whom I have not seen before. At one point I tried to get Dee's attention by lightly touching her arm but instead I got a slap in return, which made me wonder what the hack was going on with her. Few moments later Jee finished talking to her friend, took my hand and we went outside the bar where it's quite. She told me that if she went home with me then Jee wouldn't be pleased, which apparrently was what related to her from talking with her friend. By this this I was clueless as to why Dee would be unhappy about me going with Dee since it was her idea in the first place. All of a sudden Dee came out from the bar and started yelling at Jee, hitting her and even throw a drink glass at her. Jee cried while sitting on the ground, Waing and apologizing. Dee yelled sound damn loud the whole club heard her voice. Dee turn to me and asked me which one did I want. Then her friend whom she was talking to inside the bar came out and also started throwing punches at Jee. At this point I was shocked at the least and was rather numb to what went on before my eyes. Dee then screened at me and told me to leave immediately, so I started to back away from all these girls yelling at each other and walked to the covered sitting area. I made a call to an experienced BM whom I saw earlier during the night and asked for some advice and was told that I should take the girl I wanted and get out of the club as fast as I could. I waited about 5 minutes and went back up to the bar. Jee was alone and was still kneeing on the ground just outside crying, which broke my damn heart cause she is innocent in this whole thing. She has done nothing wrong but she was the one getting the sh!t from Dee. I put my arms around her and told her we should head back to my hotel right now. But Dee seem to expect me to come back for she came out from the bar and started yelling again. Jee's friend, who was trying to protect Jee earlier from the punches, told me that I have to go, now. I didn't seem to be much good for me to stay. I didn't think Dee would listen to my explainlation under her state of mind at the time nor did I see any way of taking Jee home with me without further antagonized Dee and casuing more damage to Jee. So I left. Where did I do wrong during this whole incident? What did I miss that could have given me indication of Dee wasn't ready to let me go? I realized that perhaps I have made her lose face, but again I restate that I was under the impression that she was setting me up with Jee, with her going around the club and all. Or was I being played in some sort of devious plot? What do you all think? Sorry for the long post. Last edited by ancientmariner : 18-11-2005 at 18:41. 
|
| Guest Info |
|
+:+:+ Forum Headquarter +:+:+ |
|
#2
18-11-2005, 18:45
|
|||
|
|||
|
Nuts
I'd go down the road a bit and get someone whos seemed a little bit more sane.
Sounds like these girls have been popping something more than cold towels. Don't take shit from these girls (IMHO) Steve
|
|
#3
18-11-2005, 18:54
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi Ancient marinier,
I am sorry to hear this happened to you. I thought about you as a gentleman and a very nice guy! As nice some girls can be in Patong, there are a few weird one's to avoid. I think you just met one of those. What the scene was all about, I cannot tell you, only to stay away from both girls. I never take a girl with me who is too drunk. Some girls there are alcoholic and they are drunk every single night. Sometimes they are very, very experienced between the sheets, but most of the time they are trouble. All you can say to yourself is that you don't have to blame yourself at all!!! It is a particular world, the bg one. All kind of girls there, avoid the freaky ones. Forget about the incident, choose a girl a bit shy, even if she is a starfish, and have sanuuk. I hope you will be around next week, so we can have a drink together! Martin
|
|
#4
18-11-2005, 20:03
|
||||
|
||||
|
Same thing happened to me once. I was 2 or 3 weeks with the same girl but i actually liked another girl from the same bar. I could not get her of course because i was stuck with the first one. But suddenly girl no.1`s regular boyfriend came to town and she actually said to me: you can go with her now (the girl i wanted). Yesss, finally i thought! So she was setting me up with this girl but after a while sitting in the bar (Me with the new girl, and she with her regular boyfriend) she seemed to have changed her mind and started to look really grumpy. So i barfined my new girl and took her to another bar. Then girl no.1 started to call me, but i did not answer. After a while she managed to track us down in the new bar and made a scene, i ended up empty handed of course
 I guess they dont always know what they want, especially if they are drunk.
|
|
#5
18-11-2005, 20:04
|
||||
|
||||
|
The loss of face part is hitting the nail firmly on the head.. By indicating (in front of others) that you wanted Girl2 then Girl1 who already stayed with you and would feel she has some kind of claim on you looks second best.. add in the fact that a more experienced 'senior' girl losing out to a more nieve 'jounier' girl and thats also a factor..
Not much can be done about this kind of madness especially once late nights drink etc gets all put into the mix.. I remember my sweet demure little wifey1 kicking seven shades of shit out of some girl in Shark club a few years ago over a small slight... Totally unexpected and total explosion of ferocity..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
|
|
#6
18-11-2005, 22:04
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Totally unexpected and total explosion of ferocity yeah but at least they smile and never lose their cool 95% the other 5%, they lose their mind and try to kill each other! so,whos way is better, stupid farang who rants and raves, gets it out, or thai people who hold it all in until they explode and hit someone over the head with a bottle? hmmmmmmmmm
|
|
#7
18-11-2005, 22:12
|
||||
|
||||
|
Damn dude, you sure run into it at times....Sorry to hear about this particular event...Sometimes you just get reminded that all is not what it appears.
Well, I think you have it straight and honestly I don't think this is something to worry about. I think your a good natured person and hope that you find yourself a nice girl. Watch yourself out there and good luck.
__________________
J.K. Livin  Heywood
|
|
#8
18-11-2005, 23:45
|
||||
|
||||
|
jeffrey,
i could see how this would rattle you, it would have rattled me. but sometimes, there is nothing you can do. its a screwed up situation, but its their situation, they will figure it out on their own
|
|
#10
19-11-2005, 06:04
|
||||
|
||||
|
Your mistake was going back into the club after Girl1 gave you her blessing..
She probably didnt mind at first because she thought you were leaving so nobody had to see, But when you went back into the club with Girl2 that all changed, By doing this you caused Girl1 to lose face with her other friends which is the reason she lost it.... Another thing after she gave you a slap in the face, You should have known then to turn on your heels and got the F*ck out of dodge.... No matter whether it is Los, Ireland were ever if a Girl hits me I just walk away straight away, Dont wait for an explanation or another smack.. Just go... Anyway just put it down to experience, And dont feel bad about it, Its not your fault, If it was not you it would have been someone else, Believe me your not the first that this happened too and you certainly wont be the last.. PS: Seen it happen in MTB on my first tour, Kwan and a girl called Moew were fighting over some guy, Apparently Kwan was with this guy the night before, But Moew was talking to him and he was buying her drinks, Anyway Kwan took exception to this and what started out as a little argument, Turned really nasty, Very quickly, Only that there was a load of BMs around to wrestle the Knife off Kwan it could have been much worse.... And even then Moew was not scared as kept coming with her Heels in hand..... Next night everything was cool and they were sitting there chatting when I arrived to MTB.... Moral of the story... Dont get Involved.....
__________________
LIFES A BIT*H THEN U MARRY 1 
Last edited by Allybabba22 : 19-11-2005 at 06:07.
|
|
#11
19-11-2005, 07:53
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi AM,
How's it going? Apparently not as well as would be hoped for. I pretty much agree with AB's take on this one. But I would add that you made the mistake of making too many assumptions. You assumed that because you didn't have sex with Dee, that she made no claim on you. Wrong, she looks at you as her piece of business, since she did business with you one night recently. You assumed that when she took off with her other friend, that she was looking for other business, and that therefore she had released any claim on you. Wrong. They like to flit around, flirt, to see and be seen, and feel even more happy to be strutting their stuff all over Safari when they think they have a nice piece of business already lined up for the night. A choice piece of business, I might add, since because she got away without providing sexual service to you on one occasion, then she would most likely try the same ploy again. You assumed that because she left you with Jee, that she was trying to set you up with her. Wrong. She left Jee, the junior member of her posse, to keep an eye on you and entertain you, so that some other girl wouldn't take her business. You assumed that Jee hesitated to go with you because she was shy. Very wrong, bordering on stupid(Sorry, don't mean to be insulting, but don't know how else to put it). Think about it. She is a BG(or FL). You are a nice guy, and a great catch. She is not a BG because it is good for her health. She wants some business. She knew her job was to babysit you, not to filch you from her senior friend. You assumed that when Dee asked you if you wanted to take Jee home that she gave you her approval. Wrong again, although that was a mistake that most guys probably would make, myself included, since, at that point she didn't seem to object. But, in retrospect, considering what followed, you were clearly wrong in your assumption that she had intended to set you up with Jee. Jee was afraid to go with you because she knew that there was a very good chance that to do so would have potentially resulted in serious repercussions from Dee when next their paths crossed. She was afraid to take that risk. But if you had pulled Jee out of Safari at that point, there is a chance that it may have all blown over in a day or two. That later she could tell Dee she was sorry, and do something for her to make it up to her. But, as has been pointed out by others, your biggest mistake was that instead of grabbing the girl and leaving at that point, you went up to Safari and put the whole situation on public display for a lot of drunken, and potentially dangerous, hardened BGs to sort out. By doing so, you pretty much fed Jee, the inexperienced girl, to the lions. Approaching Dee, and touching her, was tantamount to rubbing salt in a fresh wound. So, what could you have done different? At any point in time, including after you talked with the BM on the phone, you could have grabbed the girl by the arm, and said, "We're leaving right now. You're coming with me." In most cases, the girl would go with you, unless she didn't like you, which is clearly not the case here. By doing so, I think it helps the girl's position, too, because you are being active and she is being passive. It puts the onus on you, and lessens her responsiblity for what happened. If she resists your assertive move to pull her out of there, then you just have to let it go, and leave. Then she has upheld her honor of not stealing her friend's buisness, and you have made it clear that you do not want to go with Dee. A night or two later, after you have made it very clear that Dee has no chance with you, then maybe you would be able to move in on Jee without creating such a ruckus. Maybe not. Moral of the story: 1) Try not to make assumptions when dealing with BGs. Try to make your position as clear as possible from the getgo. 2) When you meet a girl for the first time, and you know you want to be with her, it is always best to pull her out of the bar, or disco, etc., ASAP, before someone or something intervenes and complicates the situation. On any given night out in Patong, you never know what is going to happen next. After you get to know a girl, and have established yourself with her, there will be lots of nights for hanging at the bars and discos with her friends. 3) Third, and perhaps most important of all, NEVER, NEVER leave your fate in the hands of a bunch of drunken BGs to sort it out for you!!! Don't feel too bad about it. I suspect that most all of us have had this sort of thing happen at one time or another. Who can understand the crazy minds of drunk BGs? Best of luck in the future, JayBee 
__________________
LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown. 
Last edited by JayBee : 19-11-2005 at 07:58.
|
|
#12
19-11-2005, 12:25
|
||||
|
||||
|
Bad Luck AM - dont think you did much wrong and i don't see why you should tiptoe around f*cked up BG logic either. Dee sounds like a *****... end of story.
__________________
|
|
#14
19-11-2005, 13:01
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
And yet we keep coming back for more!!  ****ing nuts, but cute,funny, sexy, and sometimes irresistable. And they got what we want. They are selling what we are buying!!
__________________
LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown.
|
|
#15
19-11-2005, 13:58
|
||||
|
||||
sounds like a simple buissness/computer problem.....
how much did you pay for the product you wanted???
what program are you using???????? did you get a reciept??? ps..just my thought???... go home and cuddle and watch tv in thailand R U NUTS.......they all want too do that,thats an easy night out for them did you buy them a phone card and remote too?? just wondering????????? 
|
|
#16
19-11-2005, 14:19
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
how much did you pay for the product you wanted??? 1000 Baht  Got the Capt. Kirk's model in the petite size. Looks good, handles very nicely. I highly recommend it.what program are you using???????? It was called "A Christmas Carol," on one of the the Thai channels.  did you get a receipt?? --- No, did you? Is it tax deductible? I'll have to give my accountant a good talking to, if I find out it is. go home and cuddle and watch tv in thailand.--- It was early in the evening. We had spent the whole day in bed, sleeping and f*cking.  Just finished a long workout before we watched the movie! It was too ealry to go to the bars. We watched TV, then went out for dinner, and then hit the bars!!R U NUTS.......--- Yes, I thought you already knew that. Isn't is obvious enough? they all want too do that,thats an easy night out for them.--- If it works for them, it works for me!! That's what you call a win/win situation!! did you buy them a phone card and remote too?? --- Not on that particular occasion. But I have bought more than my fair share of phone cards, And I once go roped into buying a cell phone. I was drunk when she got me to say "Yes," and was not about to go back on my word, even though she extracted it from me in a moment of drunken weakness. But I did get her to give me her old cell phone, which she wanted to give to MaMa in BKK. I used it all through my last tour. Nice phone, worked well. So it wasn't a total loss. She was pissed at me, though 'cause I wouldn't buy her the camera model which at the time was 18,500 Baht!! just wondering????????? --- any more questions? P.S. Don't take everything too literally! Relax! Some things are said tongue-in-cheek! PPS - Don't you just hate it when you get the too many smilies message!
__________________
LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown.
Last edited by JayBee : 19-11-2005 at 14:36.
|
|
#17
19-11-2005, 15:22
|
|||
|
|||
|
thanks guys for the input. that sort out my head abit. i just feel really sorry for the other girl, Jee, who is a sweet girl but she got drag into this fvckup mess of my stupid creation. i should've know better than went back up to the bar that night.
btw, the next day I text Dee trying to explain the situation and hope to resolve the matter, but I got a "fvck you" in reply and was told that she never wanna see me again, which is fine with me cause i feel the same way about her, expect the fact that now I may have to avoid going to the club where she hangsout at for a while. but i wouldn't mind seeing Jee again though. what a shame. Last edited by ancientmariner : 19-11-2005 at 15:43.
|
|
#18
19-11-2005, 16:57
|
||||
|
||||
|
heh now that's a mistake - you should not be explaining anything to her - i would have a right go about how it is all her fault and u dont forgive her.
The minute u turn this around on her she will change her tune - then you're the one who says "fvck u!"
__________________
|
|
#19
20-11-2005, 05:51
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
It was a rough night for Jee, but don't put it on yourself. She is the one who chose to be Dee's friend and sidekick. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Dee is the bad guy here, not you. Going back to the bar was a completely innocent mistake, and you did so only because your intentions were the best. If anyone should have known better, then it should have been Jee, not you. Unfortunately, it is because you are such a nice guy that you sometimes find yourself in difficult situations, because people like Dee will try to take advantage. I hope that you learn to be better at spotting bad apples like her. But other than that, don't ever change, because the world needs more good guys like you, not less! But sometimes you do have to consider your own needs a little more, particularly when you find yourself in situations with people who will never consider your position, and are only 100% in it for themselves. Be fair to yourself as well as others.
__________________
LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown.
Last edited by JayBee : 20-11-2005 at 05:54.
|
|
#20
20-11-2005, 09:19
|
||||
|
||||
|
AM - was good to meet you last night - and hope you can move on from this nasty experience and have a good time here.
It's not uncommon for girls to fight over guys - this has happened to me 3 times, the worst being in Tai Pan which was so bad that I had to abandon going there for 2 years until the girl in question had left town. There certainly are some highly strung and possesive girls out there, and in general when they get attached will see any filandering on the guys part as a red flag to be contested tooth and nail. Unfortnate though your incident was theres not a lot you can do, and the 2 of them will stay bitter to each other for a long long while to come. Hopefully you'll meet someone who you can have a good time with. All the best.
|
|
#22
21-11-2005, 10:11
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|