do married tg's lose that quirkiness?

[marc26]

this question is more for guys like stevem who have been married awhile and their wifes are living in your country?

do they lose that naivete and quirkiness that is so great?

im in vancouver, tons of asian girls to satisfy my fever, and i hung out with a chinese girl, now a japanese girl, and they were both fairly new so were foreigners, but they still dont have that child-like quality

[stevem]

YES. The misses is now telling the supervisors at her work where to go when they ask something unrealistic. She is adapting to the Aussie way very quickly, but thats because over the years she has spent sometime here.

Although sometimes she does revert back, as in last night with all the trouble happening in Sydney, all the questions about why, who and whatever.

[LivinLOS]

On some levels yes on some no... I actually think the adjustment improves thier characther as they become braver about speaking thier mind and less concerned about face, 2 things I find annoy me..

Mine was in Europe for 5 years so not a super long time but was still all girlishly excited about little things, going to a theme park with rides, or similar stuff got those childlike squeals of delight that melt me..

Although its unfair for me to generlize with a sampling of 1, I really like the way that a division of labour happens in an asian woman, farang man couple.. She was mega house proud, it was really important for her to be a superb cook and host, that was her domian and she took that side of her responsibilities really seriously.. I readily admit I am crap at the nesting thing but when freed of that task I am extreemly lucky and good at making money.. So as a pair we both worked to our strenghts as a team. Some people call that chauvanistic or a 1950's attitude but I feel thats grossly unfair, I am happy to admit that she was far far better at some things than I would ever be no matter how hard I applied myself and yet I was able to create financial security in a way she would not be able. Many people would label that a simple man / woman thing but I guess what I am trying to say is the Asian girls I have stayed with long term found nothing demeaning about having gender roles and niether do I... In fact I think its pretty foolish to have one person who can provide many multiples the others financial input distracted by tasks the other is better at anyway..

As to quirkyness I have never got to the stage when they stop coming out wiuth mad little sayings, confusions, observations, etc.. I find cross cultural relationships more interesting and long term rewarding because of that..

[K2]

Over the long term the naivety definetely dimisnishes - which I encourage, having a wife that can operate independently is a huge asset and after long period early on in the UK and spells in the US and Singapore, she can hold her own in pretty much any environment.

The quirckiness/child-like quality still remains - this can be both endearing and annoying facet at times. I find that like LivinLOS there has been a allocation of responsibilities along the lines of our strengths. She is a natural nest builder/child centric personality which balances well against my more outward looking business/explorer personality. Of course all relationships will result in different outcomes and I don't have any farang/farang relationship to compair it against as I've never even dated a farang girl.

[JayBee]

My teacher Khun Pum has been in the US for a lot of years because she wwnt to college at Univ. of Michigan, and has lived in CA working as an engineer for several years. Even though she is extremely intelligent, she still has a good bit of that TG quirkiness and a tremendous zest for life. Even so, I often get the feeling that she consciously tones it down just a little(she can't entirely), so as not to come off as unsophisticated or naive.

Today she was just back from a month trip to BKK. She was really bubbling with happy TG energy, almost glowing with it. Her zest and quirkiness were defintely recharged by her BKK visit. She hardly stopped smiling all day. And. occasionally, she was slower in her English responses, seeming to want to respond in Thai, then having to stop and mentally translate.

One comment she made was telling, however. She said it was so great to be back in BKK, and hard to leave because it is so much fun there, said with an ear to ear happy grin!! To which I replied, "And it is so much unfun to be back here in America!!?" That caught her off-guard, and she had to hesitate a moment, before saying, in a typical save-your-face Thai sort of way, i.e., tactfully, "It's so cold here!!!" thereby bypassing any comment on how comparatively unfun it is here, which might have been the wrong thing to say, especially since her Japanese BF is one of my co-students!!

So, she does tend to be upbeat, funny, and quirky, but after a month in BKK, she was more so than I've ever seen her, to the max, you might say. So I sense that the longer they are away from LOS, they start to lose it a little, but when they go back there, then it is their natural self coming out again.

[marc26]

Originally Posted by LivinLOS

On some levels yes on some no... I actually think the adjustment improves thier characther as they become braver about speaking thier mind and less concerned about face, 2 things I find annoy me..

Mine was in Europe for 5 years so not a super long time but was still all girlishly excited about little things, going to a theme park with rides, or similar stuff got those childlike squeals of delight that melt me..

Although its unfair for me to generlize with a sampling of 1, I really like the way that a division of labour happens in an asian woman, farang man couple.. She was mega house proud, it was really important for her to be a superb cook and host, that was her domian and she took that side of her responsibilities really seriously.. I readily admit I am crap at the nesting thing but when freed of that task I am extreemly lucky and good at making money.. So as a pair we both worked to our strenghts as a team. Some people call that chauvanistic or a 1950's attitude but I feel thats grossly unfair, I am happy to admit that she was far far better at some things than I would ever be no matter how hard I applied myself and yet I was able to create financial security in a way she would not be able. Many people would label that a simple man / woman thing but I guess what I am trying to say is the Asian girls I have stayed with long term found nothing demeaning about having gender roles and niether do I... In fact I think its pretty foolish to have one person who can provide many multiples the others financial input distracted by tasks the other is better at anyway..

As to quirkyness I have never got to the stage when they stop coming out wiuth mad little sayings, confusions, observations, etc.. I find cross cultural relationships more interesting and long term rewarding because of that..

i, for one, if i marry a tg, will insist on her being self-sufficient, wouldnt be attracted to her if she wasnt. but its the little things that some of you mentioned, that as long as they keep that, im fine with

[Mav]

Originally Posted by marc26

i, for one, if i marry a tg, will insist on her being self-sufficient

Paul as in straight away or after a settling in time.......l am making the presumption that she would move to the States.....maybe you mean in LOS ?

[marc26]

Originally Posted by Mav

Paul as in straight away or after a settling in time.......l am making the presumption that she would move to the States.....maybe you mean in LOS ?

well, if she stayed in LOS, and was young enough, i would prefer she try and go to university.

if she came to canada or the states, i would like her to enjoy herself. maybe take an english class. then after awhile, either work or take a computer class.
i would also maybe explore opening a small business for her, maybe an internet or little cafe.

when i say self-sufficient, i dont really mean money. just have her own life, away from mine. and putting money in her pocket for her own self-worth