Feeding the family.....

[H3X]

After spending another week with the 'family' over the festive season I can say now that the Thai rule of 'let the farang pay' is not always true. It came as a surprise for me and this is what happened :-

1st experience :-

On new years eve I was invited to 2 parties. 1st started at 16:30hrs..... I asked GF how many bottles of beer I should buy... answer NONE it's ok, just come with me. We walked 150 yards to another farmhouse where the women prepared food inside and the men drank Thai whiskey+coffee mix outside.... I was invited to sit on the mat with about 6 other Thai men and they passed round a glass with shots of said alcohol , each time it was my turn they whooped with delight !

Did about 6 shots of that over 1 hour, not too hard. I declined anything to eat except a small amount of fish. I especialy declined to drink some ducks blood they had made a 'soup' from.....next, GF took me back to the road and we climbed on board the clapped out pickup from the brother-in-law and went into the village to the next party. I had my fill of Beer Chang which I noticed was 6.4% strong ! and enjoyed a typical Isaan meal of yam and tom yang etc etc. Not much dancing that night. Just eating and drinking. So the New Years Eve p!ssup cost me NOTHING !

Now I really felt like I was family rather than a farang ATM or was I deluding myself....

2nd experience

Next day was Jan 1st. Awoke blurry at 9:30am. GF said we will go see 'too much flowers today'... ok whatever, it was my last free day with her and as long as we were together I did not care where the f*ck we went.
Had a shower, shave and was looking forward to some nookie .. but tilak said , no cannot, we go now..... ehh? She said 'look outside at car'... there was a new Toyota pickup in the driveway full of ppl ... you know like a dozen of them and they were waiting for us.... I was given the passenger seat to myself, very kind as now there were 14 ppl in/on that pickup. Not family, but the ppl from the 1st party the night before.

So off we drove. Down the 201 rd 60k to Loei and then the 203 rd some 40 or 50k further , the scenery was beautiful. Got to some town and it was 12:30. Obviously time for lunch...... so truck parked at a restaurant and all piled out, then 3 of the passengers started being car sick at the side of the truck.. hmmm I told tilak... 'sorry i'm not hungry... oh and DONT ask me to pay for the whole meal, ok'... she just grinned at me ! I ordered chicken fried rice ....... then the dishes arrived, the table was overflowing with food. 13 ppl stuffing their faces on chicken, fish, salads, tom yang kueng etc etc.... but no 'khao pad gai' for me....10 mins later tilak realised I had not eaten anything , asked the waiter about my meal, he denied all knowledge of the order. I was getting angry now. I know NEVER show that you are angry whilst in Thailand......a few minutes later he brought khao pad kueng.. with ONE f*ckin shrimp. I was steamin ! There was all these Thais gorging and I got to eat 1 shrimp. I glared at tilak and hissed again .. 'I am not paying for all of this ok....'

Then my veins popped when 2 of the other thai males, got up from the table and walked away, that left 1 other Thai male and me... the rest were women and 3 kids.... jees I was fuming I could see they expected me to pay . I got up abrubtly and went to the loo. Spent a few moments wondering how to tell everyone that this farang ATM is NOT paying for a meal for 14 as i'd been set up like this 3 times before....and I WAS THE GUEST !!! the 1st 2 times ok, family, so I paid but by the 3rd time I told tilak NEVER DO THIS TO ME AGAIN as nobody ever said ''kop koon'' and in my country the guest NEVER pays.... I washed my face in cool water.

So walked slowly back to the table. Resigned to the fact that the ATM buttons on my forehead were about to be pressed.....

Now only women and children remained. The last male had gone. I saw GF had check-bin in her hand and was talking to the waiter.... I sad down next to her and glared. She was arguing with him and he went away, came back with an adjusted check-bin. Then she smiled at me and said 'ok tilak lets go, Gai will pay' she handed the bill to the lady next to me, Gai, she had her purse open, took out 2k and gave it to the waiter.. I was totally shocked. I ate humble pie, thanked Gai with a ' kop koon kap' and apologised to my GF for being hard on her.....

That was 2 days running that I did NOT SPEND 1 baht in Thailand.....and I learned a valuable lesson

H3X

[jimholio]

So when are you gonna marry her?

[H3X]

555 ...marry who ? the GF or the one with the money.... Gai

H3X

[magnusvv]

Great report, those were some nice photos.

I remember the first time I traveled upcountry I was expecting to be encouraged to purchase things for everyone as well. I was pleasantly suprise to find that was not the case. Not all thai people same same.

Its tough to accept that aspect of thai culture. I like it when people make an effort to realize that we are not thai and there has to be some middle ground.

[H3X]

Yes magnusvv I agree.

To be honest I always expected to pay.....

I will also tell you that whilst in Nong Khai on Dec 19th tilak bought 3 thai silk tops, 1 for her mamma and 2 aunties as its so cheap up there. These ladies are pompouy... and so she rang mama to inquire about the sizes and colours....

Conversation over, tilak was discussing with saleslady the sizes and price for 3 pieces. GF mobile rings, she checks the number , does not answer, puts phone back in bag... I asked ' who was calling ?' GF replies: 'mamma, but I not answer as she will ask us to buy all family present, cannot'....

another + point for tilak

[stevem]

Originally Posted by H3X

Now I really felt like I was family rather than a farang ATM or was I deluding myself....

No you werent deluding yourself, sounds like you had a good experience.

[eric-the-viking]

lessons learnt
not all Thai families think ah here comes a walking atm, mind you lets be honest its not really what you would call breaking the bank.
one of my first trips up country we took the family out for a meal ,tee rac said we would pay 50/50 .ok i said the bill came and i was gob smacked,tee rac looked at me in wonder ,
what wrong ?
i looked at her this bill
yes?
is it right ?
she looks
yes i think so why,i talk to boss ok.
No No my dear i pay,i pay for everything :0)
for feeding about 15 people and special cooking for farang with drinks came to i think 1700 bht
the food was a constant flow .
but i am Farang not Thai .so im still waiting for the BIG invoice

[eric-the-viking]

the best one was when we went to one the resturants that have the hole in the table where they put the pot of hot ashes and water for you to cook yourselfs.
that worked out to 49 bht per adult and about 15bht per child i never saw the drinks bill

[marc26]

i paid for everything my 1st trip, but was only drinking party and market run 1st night, zoo and lunch for family next day and a couple other things. came to about 4000baht total. figured i was staying in their house for 3 nights, so fair.
but if i was married and there more frequently i wouldnt want to pay everytime

[magnusvv]

I offered to buy 13 people lunch 1 day, I'm not sure if they think I'm cheap or what, but we ended up going out for 10 baht bowls of noodles. Including the sodas it was 170 baht

[geespot]

Hi HX3 where were u staying 201 60km from Loei? also think I recognise the restaurant 2 girls sitting at, near phu Kradung on the 201?

if so not to far from u when im around

G

[Dodger]

The times I have been upcountry to meet family etc I have accepted and been happy that I pay, it is always only a little amount and they don't earn much, the only thing that gets me a bit is no one ever says 'thank you'.

[LivinLOS]

I was happy to shoulder the bulk of party costs when I went up north but was surprised that in fact I didnt...

A box or two of beers and some Lao Khao and they fed and housed me etc.. I think actually you probably meet a better group of Thais upcountry than you do near the tourist areas.. Here they get conditioned to look for every advantage they can from us..

[H3X]

Originally Posted by geespot

Hi HX3 where were u staying 201 60km from Loei? also think I recognise the restaurant 2 girls sitting at, near phu Kradung on the 201?

if so not to far from u when im around

G

Hi Geespot

GF house is Ban Klang (see map) on 2018 off the 201 going North to Chiang Khan. 62 KM from Loei town.

Actually that picture of 'two girls is nearer to Pak Chom. I attach another picture taken at the same place.

Also just outside Chiang Kahn is a tourist spot 'kood koon k...??.. I attach a picture of me standing next to some marble block. I am sure you've been there too !

I'll be back in March, inshallah


**********


Khop Koon .....and Thai eating habits

Thais eat to much for their activity levels, they are obsessed with 'eat a lot now, might starve tomorrow...' but they never starve and just get pompouy !

Let me explain that normally I pay for everything, everyday whilst at their house, and I don't really care as its peanuts and its great to see them happy, i.e. a pork BBQ and enough beers is usually 400 baht. I just tried to explain to the GF that I am GUEST at her house and although I expect to chip in a fair chunk of costs I also want some respect and some thanks coming back. I don't want to be treated as 'the only ATM in the village...'

For instance there is a KFC just opened in Loei town on 27th December. I did a round trip for a big bucket of chicken, as some of the relatives have never had a KFC meal, when I got back Mlon had bought some Leo

I really enjoy being upcountry, but its a friggin long way to travel.

Here are some more pics.

H3X

[fun2have]

Originally Posted by LivinLOS

I was happy to shoulder the bulk of party costs when I went up north but was surprised that in fact I didnt...

A box or two of beers and some Lao Khao and they fed and housed me etc.. I think actually you probably meet a better group of Thais upcountry than you do near the tourist areas.. Here they get conditioned to look for every advantage they can from us..

i love the countryside and after i have looked at patong and bkk, get me to the issan.

it is wonderful to go places and not hear the tourist area banter, and the simple things are wonderful to do.

to sit on the mat with the men of the family, drink some whisky, with those who can drink it without getting too drunk, and maintaining manners is a simple joy of a family get together in issan.

real thais spoil the guest, and this is always the way i have found it in the issan.

[Robo(sydney)]

Thanks H3X...Nice pics...
I'm going upto TAK early March to meet/greet my GF family...Spending 3-4 weeks there before flying back to Australia with my girl...
Should be an interesting experiance....Now i need to knuckle down and work my ass off so I can enjoy my stay there...
thanks again