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#1
12-04-2006, 09:10
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thai dating traditions
hiya guys.
well, just come back from phuket and went with the expectation of splitting with thai gf, she is deffinatly not a BG 100% guaranteed, and i have seen proof of her wages 30000baht pm. She drives her own car , and has very good working friends quantity surveyor, architect, and such like. when i went she was very very peased to see me, she didnt know i was going , i wanted to surprise her. in true thai style she was very very happy to do everything she could for me. Her mother and sisters are very strong traditional thai people, and she has never take anyone to meet them, so she says, and i believe her as everything she has ever told me so far has turned out to be true, she took me there last week and i stayed with family untill night fall when they like, kinda , kicked me out to a hotel for the night. they found the hotel and negotiated a good price for me 600 baht for the night. and there i stayed all night. went back next morning and during a conversation with her mother she asked me togo back in october for a special buddhist festival they have. so the question is, traditionaly is the meeting of the bf and thai girls parents significant of her love for him. Now my gf has never ever asked for money ever. in fact she paid for flights to bkk for us. and didnt ask for any money off me. im afraid i have fallen in love with her big time, she knows it and says that after meeting her parents she loves me too and wants to marry in 18 month. is there any internet resource that tells you what is tradition in thai relationships, how weddings work, who does what and when, you know what i mean i hope. if she is playing games with me which i seriously doubt as i stay with her 100% of the time when im there and there is no sign at all of any lies. then she is very very very very good at it. but i doubt she is. im going back in august to bring her to uk for 2 week holiday. so any internet resource on thai tradition would be most helpfull.... thanks guys 
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#2
12-04-2006, 09:33
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A quick google of "Thai traditions" returned quite a few hits that look interesting for you.
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#3
12-04-2006, 09:46
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good day mate, a good forum is www.thailandguidebook.com
have some good threads on dating TGs. i fully believe parts like never having invited a man to the house before, thats a major deal. the thing about her saying to marry in 18 months is also a good sign to me. so that all in the family etc get used to the farang bf joining the family.
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#4
12-04-2006, 10:09
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Theres a very good book called Thailand Fever which details different Thai Farang perspectives..
Good luck..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#5
12-04-2006, 13:37
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Yep that book helped me understand a lot of things in regards to Thai traditions and behaviour. I can only recommend it. Good luck ellabbs
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#7
13-04-2006, 09:47
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buying rings
I guess you are in for buying some diamond ring soon, everything goes into that direction. How you was treated followed exactly traditional Thai dating.
From this girl and family I would not expect any games, it seems like a cleancut thing to me -- however if you think marriage is not an option, I would run now for the hills, as you seem to have made the impression on them that this is your definite intention. There will be no wriggling out of this and still keep the girl. Breach the news to your girlfriend that you do not know very much about Thai (the festival in October sounds rather like the Chinese Vegetarian Festival to me, not Thai or Buddhist at all) traditions; if the family is not Thai but Chinese, I also would not know if and in what form or size a sin sot (dowry) would be demanded. Maybe they got the impression that you actually know about all that stuff. For more and a lot of real life cases, maybe try also stickmanbangkok.com (reader submissions). Good luck!
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#8
13-04-2006, 10:13
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Depends on the family but will be interesting to hear what value sin sot gets floated.. I am hearing that many BKK middle class families are looking at sin sot as rural thing and phasing it out but depends on if the family despite thier relative wealth see a meal ticket.
Good job, own car, more educated.. Might be painful.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#9
14-04-2006, 04:35
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hiya again.....
she really confuses me,,, to the point that after 3 weeks with her i need a physciatrist to sort me out when i come back to uk..........not sure if its difference in culture that causes misunderstanding or she actully knows what shes doing. things like just being late home and never saying " sorry, work late today " or actually phoning me to say she will be late.and staying out late, not answering her phone at all. untill she goes on msn at about 2 am.and then she tells me everything about her night. i have never ever found her to be lying about anything, so far. but one thing she wants to do, and that is come to uk and see how i live and see how business is here, she seems to be testing the water, to see if i can provide enough for her. as i think money is very, very important to all Thai girls. She has gone to Hua Hin to be with her family for songkram, and she gave me her mothers phone number (which amazed me ) and has told me i can ring several times a day, seems she wants me to ring to show her family she has bf. i dont particularly want to run for the hills as i am afraid i have fallen in love with her, so im happy for her to show me off. Shes coming to uk in August for 2 weeks. The fact she has taken me to her families home, and invited me to phone her moms house several times a day does lead me to believe she is serious,but she just confuses the hell out of me. i guess ill have to do soome heavy reading about thai traditions, and learn as much conversation as i can, as none of her family speak any english at all.and when she talks thai to her friends she could be saying absolutely anything. and i just nod... :-) shes like an angel from heaven when were together. and nothing is too much trouble for her, she even skips tracks on the cd player in the car that she knows i dont like. and cooks me food at 3am if im hungry. absolute angels ....................... ohh why did i not go to LOS 15 years ago...................................... superb people..............superb culture.....................superb country.
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#10
14-04-2006, 04:42
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just a question if you dont mind where did your gf learn her english, also whats your time difference los to uk, so the msn at 0200 los thai or uk time.
dont worry too much about learning thai to hear what she is saying to her friends, because if she is a southern girl and she knows you speak thai she will just revert to her home language
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#11
14-04-2006, 06:56
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I'm happy for you meeting a tg and that you are doing great together with her. But I have to ask you a question, and I can see you tried to answer it yourself; Why did she give you her mother's phone number, I guess she has her own phone. Are you suppose to call her mother every time you want to talk to her, and she will sit next to her with her own phone? Don't misunderstand me asking you this, I for sure hope you will have a good future with her. One more thing, has she already got herself a visa for the UK? F
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#12
14-04-2006, 11:03
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The girls are taught from birth to take care thier man.. Cut your toenails, trim your nut hair, peel your grapes.. Get a good one and Asian girls are the best in the world.. Lots of guys seem to think just becuase they meet a girl who isnt in the bar means that this girl is somehow a safer bet.. On the one had a girl who has been in the scene for a long time is going to have issues but that doesnt mean that the girl with the job isnt out for the payday.. Be very slow and careful.. Some of what you have been telling us seems odd to say the least.. Good luck.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#14
14-04-2006, 14:26
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My alarm-bells goes off everytime a tg doesn't answer her phone.
But like f2h said, you are a bit more forward than me too, LIL. Next time she doesn't answer her phone he will call her mother and the answer will be (if some of them speak english); she go marked, buy food, come back soon. F
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#15
14-04-2006, 14:55
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You beat me to it. You can never be 100% sure of much, but I would say she has something to hide just from the not answering the phone. At best, you are pussy-whipped before you start here. At worst, well...
__________________
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#17
14-04-2006, 15:26
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Sorry ellabbs for beeing a little bit negative about this, but from my own experience I would be careful with the celebration and telling too much about her to your family and friends before she actually gets her visa and flight-tickets.
I guess you in a way told her that you were not happy when she didn't answer her phone, and then she gave you her mother's number and you could call her when ever you want. But what's the different, if she doesn't answer the phone what will it help to call her mother who doesn't speak english? But you felt a lot safer when she did this, and that's what she wanted. Be careful with this, I think it's going too fast. F
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#18
14-04-2006, 15:39
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I didnt want to start a bad vibes angle.. Only the cynic in me comes out to play sometimes.. Just go steady and try to appreciate if mysterious things are cultural differences or if its being made a mark..
Also I dont think I have read your age (whhich in some ways covers experience) or hers both of which make a difference to how you both are likely to succeed etc.. Just take it steady but as Steve hinted dont let yourself be too whipped and devoted as thats blood in the water at shark feeding time 
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#19
14-04-2006, 16:04
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exactly guys, this is what i mean, take the next example for instance.....
she works 20 mins from her apartment in phuket... and gets home at 530pm every night, give or take..... so one night when i was there, she was not home by 6, so i rang, and it just rang and rang finally going to answer phone, then i rang again, and again,and again. finally getting a txt back, saying work late home soon. so i rang again and she answerd it, saying she be late because shes work late. I jumped on my bike and went to see if she was at work. and sure enough she was there. So her explanation later for not answering the phone was she was busy working. This to me is strange as id pick up first time and say " busy darling". she has got her own mobile phone, but i asked if i could have her moms number as its only 2p per min landline to landline. and she didnt hesitate in giving it to me. She doesnt live with her mom as her mom lives in Hua Hin and she lives in phuket. Everytime i ring her at her moms she is there. she says she is telling her mom about me. Nice things she says ( i bet .) I think she has had a hard childhood maybe deprived of love and certainly affection, as she says she loves her mom dearly but when we went up to meet her, there was a distinct lack of affection. not one kiss from mother to daughter or vice versa, during our whole stay,even when leaving, nothing. So maybe she not even realize the affect her cold behavour has on people, or maybe just doesnt care. i know i find myself sometimes trying to make excuses for her behavour, another reason she may find relationships hard is because shes been on her own for 30 years. and finds having to consider other people hard ( stuck in her ways maybe ) never had a guy living with her at all. last bf she had was farang and she saw him at weekends, and the one before was her first boss. ( hmmmmm) thats all she has had ( so she says, but i have no reason to misbelieve her ) but she sure does my head in. if shes playing a game and after money, why take me to meet her family. and why tell her family she comeing to uk for holiday.because if we split it wont look good on her will it, or do they accept splitting up like westerners do. she wants me to ring her moms several times a day, maybe im a trophy, to show off to her family as none of her sisters have ever had boyfriends, and they all live at home with mom except my gf. She really is a very intellegent girl, she knows what she wants and knows how to get it, i remember once when i was there i was pissed off with her, so on phone with her i said i was going to patong, ( 2.45 pm) for a beer or 8, within 20 mins she was back at apartment, just dropped everything at work and left,she certainly didnt want me going to patong on my own. we sorted it out and all was well, but if she not care about me, why rush back. hmmmmmmm So i still dont know whats going on, she says she loves me, so i guess i better just sit tight and ride it out. and hope there is a lifeboat somewhere near to come and rescue me WHEN i need it. Im so in love with her it has to lead to heartbreak somewhere down the line.Im watching what i offer her and avoiding saying she can have money, funny, but when i was leaving last time i gave her 5000 baht at airport and said, get something for yourself, hmmm well, she paid the rent for the apartment next day, got some shopping and fuel for car. hmmmmmm. and even told me what she did. so no attemp to hide it. i kinda wish id never met her, but a bit late now. if she was working the bars and i knew, it would be so much easier for me to know what to do. maybe a PI will sort it out for me hahaha.
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#21
14-04-2006, 16:20
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thais arent touching types in terms of mother and daughter their life is full of restriction, they will not walk into the house and hug each other, it is just not done, hugging is a farang thing.
the first farang to the house and she had previous farangs, more alarm bells. she had a bf before farang, and her boss ? sorry as LIL and steve , frode and me, sounds like a convention of the warned and waried i am now getting real worried now the cynic in me is coming through. to use the phrase that bgs know so well, "up to you", but step very very slowly, to me the minefield is getting bigger mate.
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#23
14-04-2006, 16:28
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thai clocks
the gf works in tesco complex upcountry, everyday we talk, she tells me what time she works when she will be home etc. she is like clockwork, never a more than 5 minute variation to her schedule, admittedly she does not work in a high powered job, where work maybe run later, but her fathers discipline is evident.
if she is late to the pc or sms me, she apologises explains the situation, eg relief is late at work or talking friends
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#24
14-04-2006, 16:29
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