You know you have been in LOS too long when..

[DREW]

You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

1. You look four ways before crossing a one-way street.

2. You've bought a house for a Thai bar girl, or at least a motorcycle.

3. You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs.

4. You think it's normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m.

5. You realize ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls or cranky ATM's.

6. You know all the bars and people mentioned in Stickmans week page.

7. A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

8. You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car.

9. All your T-shirts are emblazoned with the name of a bar.

10. You can't remember the last time you wore a tie. You think a safari jacket and jeans are formal attire.

11. Your Thai girlfriend has more gold than you.

12. Someone asks you what Thailand is famous for and you reply, "******s, spicy food and corruption."

13. Someone tell you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love and you understand the analogy.

14. The most important event of your day is the announcement of the exchange rate.

15. You aren't upset when the Isaan bar girl next to you eats beetles as a snack.

16. Later the same night, you actually kiss the Isaan bar girl who earlier dined on beetles as a snack.

17. You haven't had a solid stool in five years.

18. Your most prized possessions are your passport and credit cards.

19. You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.

20. You think white wine goes well with Som Tam.

21. You understand when your Thai wife says, "My friend you," or "Same same but different."

22. You need money quickly, so you realize that there certainly is no point in going to a Thai bank.

23. A Thai bar girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away.

24. A newly arrived tourist asks how long it takes for a Thai girl to reach orgasm and you respond, "Who cares?"

25. You don't mind when a Thai cuts in front of you in line. Instead, you just stand on his foot and pretend ignorance.

26. You aren't surprised when your Thai girl friend covers her mouth when picking her teeth then openly picks her nose.

27. You realize that your Thai wife's loyalties belong to:

1. Her parents;
2. Her brats from a previous marriage to a Thai scoundrel who deserted her;
3. Any remaining blood relatives;
4. The family buffalo;
5. The family's goldfish;
6. You. (This pecking order is inviolate.)

28. The Thai Navy buys a new submarine and you're not surprised when the first thing they do is remove the muffles and hang a garland form the rear view mirror.

29. Your Thai girlfriend gets angry when you tell her, "No honey, no money, no funny."

30. You consider your mobile phone a fashion accessory.

31. You no longer enjoy Songkran in Phuket. Instead, you stay home with a stack of DVD's.

32. It's two days before payday, so you only to go bars with balloons strung outside.

33. You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter 'S'. Sanuk (Fun), Saduak (convenient), Sabai (Comfortable), Suay (Pretty).

34. You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship ritual, or at least a form of foreplay.

35. You think a calendar more useful than a watch.

36. You realize that the only way to become a millionaire in Thailand is to start out a billionaire.

37. You're discussing Thai girls with a Farang buddy and you say, "Yeah, I've got her exactly where she wants me."

38. You go to a Thai Boxing match and a soccer game breaks out.

39. You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.

SCORING:
0-5: You're fresh off the boat, but there may be hope for you yet. Concentrate on living like a Thai, keeping in mind that it is not a race but a culture.

6-15: You've been here a while, but still a bit green. You probably have too many Farang friends. Hang in there; perversion is its own reward.

Over 15: An old Thai hand. If you live to be 100, you still won't be able to understand these people. How long since you've visited your poor old mom or had a meal in which you could identify the ingredients? Seriously though, don't tell your friends back home how bad their life sucks compared to living in Thailand. You'll lose them..

[nelsonone]

55555.....very good Drew.......perhaps we could add......if you are considering working there!!!!!!............uggh.......the thought....

[sierradelta]

LMAO.

Absolute GOLD...

Well done mate.

[Wolf]

Got 13 points - not bad I would say?
Guess I am on my way!

Cheers,
Wolf

[cybernator_uk]

Hahahaha that was great

[LivinLOS]

You know youve been here too long when..

You think that your ear is a perfectly normal place to keep 5 baht coins

The footprints on the toilet seat are your own

[LivinLOS]

You understand that 'prung nee' is kind of like the mexican manana.. But without the same sense of urgency.

[Captain]

40. If the footprints on the toilet seat are yours.
http://www.phuket-info.com/forums/jo...o-long-if.html

[tomyam]

-55555- brilliant - score 24
1,2,3,6,7,11,12,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,23 (best one!!),24,25,26,29,31,32,36,&39

[TomMcxx]

18. Your most prized possessions are your passport and credit cards.

19. You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.


Quality Post!

Bring on October!!!

[Wolf]

Did the test again - now 15 points!

1, 3, 7, 10, 11, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 26, 27, 28, 34

Looking forward getting the 100%!
But I don't think I ever will be too long there!

Cheers,
Wolf

[The Real Sledge]

5555555555555 Very good.

[JayBee]

Made my day!!!!!!!