wives

[Paddy]

Originally Posted by marc26

as far as the question
i have a thai gf, known her for 2 1/2 years and may look to take it a step further
inside thailand i would'nt hide that she was an ex-bg, but wouldnt just tell people

my gf is one of the smartest people i ever met, honestly. it may not come off as a polished package but her ability to learn is amazing. she just needed a little direction and confidence

im also a very confident person, and i think i give off a feeling when im with her in nice restaurants and hotels that she deserves as much respect as i am being shown and the staff usually picks up on that.

the one thing that i have focused on in our realtionship is to booste her confidence level and show her and point out that shes as smart as anyone and is as deserving of being in any place we are as anybody in there

Good for you Marc! I think you've got it dead right. Good luck to you both.

And at the risk of getting banned, not that I care that much, I have to second your comment about steve the moderator. I think he's unnecessarily negative and prickly. The fact that he reacted so violently to the original question,which was carefully phrased and respectfully put, says a lot more than he wanted to admit.

Bye then. See you all again some time.

[dawsey]

Originally Posted by Paddy

And at the risk of getting banned, not that I care that much, I have to second your comment about steve the moderator. I think he's unnecessarily negative and prickly. The fact that he reacted so violently to the original question,which was carefully phrased and respectfully put, says a lot more than he wanted to admit.

Bye then. See you all again some time.

Paddy, why would you be banned for stating your opinion,whatever its about?

Its an open forum,fairly moderated I think, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. Just as Steve is entitled to his opinion about the original question.

[stevem]

Originally Posted by Paddy

says a lot more than he wanted to admit.

This was dead, why bring it back up. I have even replied by the OP and explained my reaction. You do not know me or my wife, so you have no fvcken idea of what she did before, so why make stupid bloody comments. Not that it is anyone business, but she did work in bars, and was a cashier and did the books and daily reconciliation for a large group of bars.

So there now you know, everyone happy!!!!!

[cybernator_uk]

Originally Posted by Paddy

Good for you Marc! I think you've got it dead right. Good luck to you both.

And at the risk of getting banned, not that I care that much, I have to second your comment about steve the moderator. I think he's unnecessarily negative and prickly. The fact that he reacted so violently to the original question,which was carefully phrased and respectfully put, says a lot more than he wanted to admit.

Bye then. See you all again some time.

I havent got involved in this yet.... But on this occasion i think i will.... I dont think personaly steve got that defensive... Its an open forum.... Its like the whole subject about farang women sometimes annoys me... Why cant steve feel annoyed by this... At the end of the day mod or not he has every right too say whatever he feels just like we do on other subjects..... I can understand why this is a touchy subject.... I can understand why it was asked but asking "was your thai wife a bg before you married her" (which is the drift of ther post) is a very personal question and one that can as steve said be taken in and twisted by other people and can be used for ammunition against thai girls... Look at the thread recently about the incident in the gogo bar (dam i cant remember the name) and farang women went in and said your all gonna get HIV...

[erik1]

Originally Posted by marc26

i personally like your questions and never questioned your motives. your just inquisitive

guys with thai wifes:
im not married and can only give my opinion.

steve@thai-i understand must get annoying but i think on the forum you have to look at the source. a guy asking on the forum more than likely has a different agenda than a guy asking in the UK

Have been thinking long to respond or not. Decided that i really couldn't be bothered. I must say though: Marc I agree that mods should not let their personal feelings decide what can and can not be asked.

I feel that the question asked was a genuine one, that people that think of a relation with a thai woman can use to make up their mind. Therefor the question and possible answers add to the serious level of this board. That alone should be the measurement. If you don't like to answer the question then don't click the reply button.

I personally have more problem with topics that are only about how to use those lbfm as they name the girls. Preferably without payment. Again the choice of the person but I have more a problem with that kind of posts.

This is Phuket-info.com, not thai******s.com or mongers.com so all sort of questions should be able to be asked and all sort of answers should be able to be given as long as decently brought.

Lets all try to keep the board informative in general.

[ub2yoo]

Originally Posted by steve@thaib

I generally consider it to be a loaded question, so I just don't get into it. The problems you have to overcome when bringing a Thai girl to the UK are pretty major, it's a huge two-way culture shock.

Hi Guys,

Can I extend this discussion to a thought I have in mind reading steve@thaib's post.

As far as the feelings I've got for a BG, I could not imaging bringing her over to Europe. I would fear it would kind of destroy the mystery and excitement of such a relationship in oh so "success driven" (and at times cold harded) Europe ? I'd rather try anything to create a financial backbone here, move to Thailand, create a living and enjoy every minute of the same girl I met in this great country. With the great benefit of living in LOS with someone on your side which you can trust. Well, I better stop it here before it get's too romantic

Of course I also heard many happy story's of Thaigirl (or BG's, to stay with the topic) who are happy in Europe. So, opinion shared

Greetings

ub2yoo

[shark1963]

Originally Posted by barfly

I think I was a guilty as anyone in my early days of LOS travel of assuming that little or no education meant they had to be unintelligent. I soon learnt otherwise!

I hope you learned your lesson well, Not to get the chance of a good education doesn´t mean by any way that the person is stupid!! But at the same time i met a lot of people with an university degree which i would subscribe they are the most stupid people i ever met in my life

[Mav]

I think the angst in this thread was caused by the way the original question was structured.

[nelsonone]

Originally Posted by andy50

so she was a b/g then-- allbeit an "innaproppiate one"

Well I don't think this post helped Stevem's mood............I know you and like you Andy but I'd be pretty pissed off if you made this assumption on an open forum about someone I cared about......let alone a wife..........It really did force stevem into replying and it was obvious that he didn't want to.

and steve didn't delete the post..and here we are having a conversation about it......so what the...........

I think a guy is allowed to be sensitive when people are judging his wife.......which is where the original post took the thread.......

Personaly I would have deleted Andy's post......so don't ever ask me to be a moderator..........

[Thai Kwan Do]

My g/f worked in a bar ,
Did she go with men for money before ? : yes she did
Do i get upset about it? : no i don't
Do i love her ? : YES I DO !!!!!!!!!! [and her 2 daughters]

when someone asks about why i have a ring on my finger ,
i say that i married a Thai girl , they always look at me in a funny way ,
and i can see them thinking :
mmmmm, sex tourist!! , and she is a ******! ,
and then the conversation quickly turns to the beauty of the Thai countryside
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ohhh , and i just bought her a pig!!!
And she ain't coming back to phuket ,as she,s staying in her home town

[stevem]

This will be my final word on this subject.

For those that are having good time bashing me for saying that I'll close this thread because I dont like it, well I suggest that you read my comment again. I said that I would see what other people thought about it, and if others in the same position also felt the same, then I would think about it. Read into it what you like.

I suggest that everyone take a sensitivity pill and chill out. Whilst this is an open forum and anything and everything can be expected. If you know nothing about the subject at hand, then say nothing, especially in regards to sensitive issues where it is obvious some BM's are having issues with.

To those that pushed the issue and just couldnt stay out of it, I hope you got what you wanted out of it.

Have a nice day.

[steve@thaib]

Originally Posted by erik1

I must say though: Marc I agree that mods should not let their personal feelings decide what can and can not be asked.

Not fair Erik, the question was allowed to stand and nothing was deleted.

This type of question for sure gets me going, can't speak for SteveM, but is left for others to answer even if we are personally offended by it.

[shark1963]

Originally Posted by steve@thaib

I'm as guilty as anyone in regard to being sensitive over this question, but with good reason I think.

I generally consider it to be a loaded question, so I just don't get into it. The problems you have to overcome when bringing a Thai girl to the UK are pretty major, it's a huge two-way culture shock. People make assumptions all the time and one of those assumptions is, generally, that you married a ******. they are only asking the question so you can confirm it for them.

Whenever I am asked face to face, I will normally say that we met in Bangkok and leave it at that. If someone is genuinely interested in where she comes from then we will have a conversation, but often it's just another snide comment in the guise of a question.

Sorry if I come across as overly sensitive about it, but you really do get tired of the whole thing and whichever way you answer the question people will judge you and assume that you are either a liar or that you married a prostitute. I just choose not to answer the question mostly.

As it happens, I have said many times I did not meet my wife in a bar and that is true, but I also don't believe that makes any difference either. I do consider the question to be intrusive, but that does not mean it should not be asked. Well done for sticking with the subject Barfly.

Hi Steve,i understand that having your experiences you might get more sensitive and might overreact. I had the same experiences with my ex-wife as she was from the ukraine and when i met her on a business trip she was 19 !! So you can imagine what have been the reactions of my family, my friends and everybody i met when it come up to the question of my wife. I would say the "russian" girls (most people name them all russian if they are from eastern europe) have a far more bad reputation than thai Girls imho. After a while their have been to choices to me :

1.) Either i beat the sh1t out of everybody doing some nasty statements about my wife (would have been at least 5 times a day ) or

2.) get relaxed about it, knowing how ignorant many people are

At the end i decided to have a life in peace and not to listen to those idiots.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy

The fact that he reacted so violently to the original question,which was carefully phrased and respectfully put, says a lot more than he wanted to admit.

This statement is needless and just to wind him up and give some oil in the fire!! Stevem explained his reaction and he apologized his post.Everybody can understand his reaction in the first post now easily, especially if you have made the same experiences. And as already stated its up to each one if you want to give an answer or not to the OP´s question!! I was also a little bit pissed off at first but you should respect his excuse and the reason why!!

[steve@thaib]

Originally Posted by Paddy

Good for you Marc! I think you've got it dead right. Good luck to you both.

And at the risk of getting banned, not that I care that much, I have to second your comment about steve the moderator. I think he's unnecessarily negative and prickly. The fact that he reacted so violently to the original question,which was carefully phrased and respectfully put, says a lot more than he wanted to admit.

Bye then. See you all again some time.

'I cant speak for others, but I find this totally inappropriate and very intrusive. How I met my wife, or what she did or didnt do beforehand, is no ones business except ours.'

Where is the 'violent' reaction in this? Just because the guy has a delete button does not make him some sort of omnipotent negative God.

He might have an opinion but so does everyone else, and he's as entitled to his as you are to yours.

I'm not about to repeat myself because it's all been said, but it's a seriously intrusive question and I cannot think of any other circumstances where asking a guy if his wife used to be a ****** would be considered reasonable.

Bagging on SteveM seems to have become something of a sport around here. To those that do, can I suggest you look back over his contribution to the forum and ask yourselves if he is really that bad? The amount of time and knowledge he has given here for free is at least worthy of a little respect.

Shame on you.

[Tyfon]

Originally Posted by barfly

Could I ask- in a completely non-judgemental way- about expats/farangs who have Thai wives or long term GFs. What percentage are ex-bar girls?
I suppose this links to another thread about how easy is it to meet non-BGs for long term relationships? Does it actually happen or is it usually a case of falling at some point for a BG that floats your boat?

Just to remind folks of the OP, in case those who do not bother to scroll back a page or so get the wrong impression about what was asked.

No where is any named individual asked directly for information they might not want to give. It's not even a "is you wife a ******" question, it's simply what proportion of successful TG relationships are with BGs as opposed, presumably, to GGs?

[steve@thaib]

Enough.

If Barfly wants to ask the question again then he is welcome to, but this thread has run its course.