Phuket

kathleenbilly · #1 25-12-2006, 04:25

I have been pondering this subject probably covered many times before but would like to tell this story.

I am 36 years old no longer with my girlfriend and have one child between us, a beautiful girl of three years old.

I spent one month in Thailand last year loved it, everything, the women, attitude of the place so enlightening, actually felt like I was living again.

So off again in February now my friend wishes to come but has a girlfriend, let me point out she's a lovely girl who I get on with. However he is desperate to come to Thailand and experience everything he has heard to the point of bringing his girlfriend and slipping off for short time!? He's keep telling me he not sure about settling down and wants to live a bit etc.

My point of this post is do I go back into the rat race get a girl like him again in England let her move in and have my life mapped out again?

Or do I take my chances and allow myself the freedom to come and go as I please to then risk the chance ending up a lonely old man because of it?

When she started telling me how Mark that’s his name is going to start paying for her driving lessons and then buy her a car......I thought S*it yeah your paying for sex Mark, and paying handsomely for it.

My own example a girl cost me 135 quid for one night I pulled in a club and she was nothing to write home about just makes me think what am i doing?

So confused maybe I don't know what is best for me, my personal gut reaction is to follow what felt good and Thailand opened up something in me which felt good.

Yes I pay for sex when I go to Thailand which I hate to say and is a difficult subject to broach with ordinary couple's who view it in a dim light. But looking at it mathematically it just seems to be such a bad deal to invest in a girl here such a bad return with no guarantees. It really scares me to get hooked up what if it went wrong, it would be ironic how I could be first in line to tell myself, I told you so!

So please to guys who have been in my situation and clearly continue to visit Thailand should I just be happy I had a good holiday and move on, find myself a nice girl in England and get back in line with everybody else? Or walk proud enjoy my life even if it does not conform to accepted society standards.

steve@thaib · #2 25-12-2006, 04:58

Never bow to the conformists, they only want you to share their misery.

The problem we have in the UK is that paying for sex is viewed by polite society as morally reprehensible. It's no good explaining the bar scene and the grey area between paying for sex and helping a girl financially after she has spent the night with you

, people in the UK will generally grasp at the moral high ground as soon as you mention Thailand.

If you start talking about the bar scene over here you can quite easily become something of a social pariah. That said, if I had to choose I would choose the single life and bollox to what people think.

I live in the UK with a Thai partner and find that it works for me. She gives me plenty of leeway and I look after her as best I can. Anything in the UK which marks you out as different, like having a Thai wife or going to Thailand on holiday and coming back with a smile on your face, or both, has social consequences.

The question isn't really 'should I do single or conformo'. You should look at all the blokes around you who work that 9-5 treadmill and have partners who turned into bunny-boiling phsychos once they had the ring on their finger and the hooks in deep and ask yourself 'do I want that?'.

whuakito · #3 25-12-2006, 05:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathleenbilly

I have been pondering this subject probably covered many times before but would like to tell this story.

I am 36 years old no longer with my girlfriend and have one child between us, a beautiful girl of three years old.

I spent one month in Thailand last year loved it, everything, the women, attitude of the place so enlightening, actually felt like I was living again.

So off again in February now my friend wishes to come but has a girlfriend, let me point out she's a lovely girl who I get on with. However he is desperate to come to Thailand and experience everything he has heard to the point of bringing his girlfriend and slipping off for short time!? He's keep telling me he not sure about settling down and wants to live a bit etc.

My point of this post is do I go back into the rat race get a girl like him again in England let her move in and have my life mapped out again?

Or do I take my chances and allow myself the freedom to come and go as I please to then risk the chance ending up a lonely old man because of it?

When she started telling me how Mark that’s his name is going to start paying for her driving lessons and then buy her a car......I thought S*it yeah your paying for sex Mark, and paying handsomely for it.

My own example a girl cost me 135 quid for one night I pulled in a club and she was nothing to write home about just makes me think what am i doing?

So confused maybe I don't know what is best for me, my personal gut reaction is to follow what felt good and Thailand opened up something in me which felt good.

Yes I pay for sex when I go to Thailand which I hate to say and is a difficult subject to broach with ordinary couple's who view it in a dim light. But looking at it mathematically it just seems to be such a bad deal to invest in a girl here such a bad return with no guarantees. It really scares me to get hooked up what if it went wrong, it would be ironic how I could be first in line to tell myself, I told you so!

So please to guys who have been in my situation and clearly continue to visit Thailand should I just be happy I had a good holiday and move on, find myself a nice girl in England and get back in line with everybody else? Or walk proud enjoy my life even if it does not conform to accepted society standards.

god its xmas.
you should be having fun with mark and gf right now,instead of rising such a subject,that is one in which many of us have fallen,I am not gonna give you any piece of advice, 'cause it may just be the way I see it,and I don't wanna be the one that told you to do so,instead I would like to answer to a few qestions you yourself have been put in front of.

either doing back and forth,or settling down in the uk you will always be mapped up,won't you

ending up a lonely old man 'cause of it. of it what, I actually see no difference.

I personally have always paid for sex either way you look at it.

society standards, if I am not wrong you are out of it already

do what you think is best for you,your still young and the risk to find yourself a lonely old man is too far.

merry xmas

Einheriar · #4 25-12-2006, 05:20

well even in our western society, you pay for sex....call it rent, credit card, going out...and all the things you normally would spend on GF/wife.

This way you choose who and how to date.

But respect the women in thailand, and they will give you so much more.
merry x-mas.

PS: Its your life.dont bow to society norms, because you have a guilt trip.....live a good life and be happy.

kathleenbilly · #5 25-12-2006, 05:55

Never bow to the conformists, they only want you to share their misery.

well even in our western society, you pay for sex....call it rent, credit card, going out...and all the things you normally would spend on GF/wife.

Well I totally agree and like you said that's all that really matters I found something away from the mainstream and lucky for it. I feel I have already escaped the crap people in the UK accept so readily.

Well I’m going to carry on and to be honest would even like a Thai girl for keeps maybe one day I like the thought of that better than anything else right now in my life...''

kathleenbilly · #6 25-12-2006, 06:00

The question isn't really 'should I do single or conformo'. You should look at all the blokes around you who work that 9-5 treadmill and have partners who turned into bunny-boiling phsychos once they had the ring on their finger and the hooks in deep and ask yourself 'do I want that?'.

That's exaxctly what I don't want

steve@thaib · #7 25-12-2006, 06:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathleenbilly

The question isn't really 'should I do single or conformo'. You should look at all the blokes around you who work that 9-5 treadmill and have partners who turned into bunny-boiling phsychos once they had the ring on their finger and the hooks in deep and ask yourself 'do I want that?'.

That's exaxctly what I don't want

Question answered then?

visa2003 · #8 25-12-2006, 06:21

My story is that I was 21 years old and 1 week away from getting married ( to a Welsh girl no less!!!) when it suddenly dawned on me that the whole idea was crap.

Looking at my prospective father-in-law, I could see myself there a few years down the road. Same job all my life, starting at the same time, finishing at the same time, going to the same place for holidays every year and generally turning into a robot!!!

The day I told my fiance that the whole thing was off, was the day my life started!!!!

I didn't find out about LOS until I was about your age but until then I was able to change jobs whenever the mood struck me, paid for my motorsports and worked on my car whenever I wanted, travelled halfway aruond the world, hooked up with as many girls as I needed to, and thought I was having the time of my life!!!

Then I was sent to LOS by my travel agent ( I had not even heard of the place then!!!!) and things got even better!!!!!

As far as the lonely old man part goes, while I can still get to LOS I will be too busy having a good time to get lonely!!!!

Just because most people live their lives in a certain way does not mean that it suits everybody!!!!

Captain · #9 25-12-2006, 17:31

I never pay for sex, I give for the company they offer me.
Getting settled because you don't want to become an old lonely man is the wrong reason.
I had a lot of GF's, even living together sometimes, but I passed on, it was not my thing to be chained like that. Now you could call me an old man, but I never feel lonely: there are times I want to be alone, on a beach, in free nature (reading a book, or just thinking)...and when I want company, I can find it.

georgelondon · #10 25-12-2006, 17:35

we all pay for it one way or another...if you think you dont ,you either a monk or very nieve! right....time for another beer!

kathleenbilly · #11 25-12-2006, 18:11

Well its good to hear others have the attitude that I am beginning to have it certainly makes me feel better.

With me going on my own in February just want to go with the right frame of mind and begin to accept my direction in life. Yes looks like the 9-5 stuff is not my thing and I now must realise that fact.

The time I went with my friend last year his own brother was there with about 6 other friends they all were trades people ie: Electrician's plumbers etc.

They would work in the UK continiuosly for 6 months save there money and then spend 6 months in Thailand. As i sat watched and spoke to them in the beautiful Jungle club overlooking Samui I think my life changed. These guys were working to live, not living to work. Hey they had it good and were happy.

As a result of seeing this I am in the process of changing jobs to allow myself to be self employed and the flexability to do the same. Interesting to hear my friends brother has apparently got married to his long standing girlfriend in Thailand and they are to live in Spain. I hope it all works out for him he's a good guy.

I am looking forward to going again that much is true!

Crunch · #12 26-12-2006, 02:24

Do what makes you happy, so long as you're not hurting someone else.

You only get one go on this rock, so s*d 'em if they dont like it, live your life, your way.

kathleenbilly · #13 26-12-2006, 02:38

That's my main problem looking back and worrying about what people think once I'm over that 'll be OK. And i'm getting over it!

Well I'm going to spent good quality time in Thailand sure i love the girls with the weather included the whole place is fantastic.

I am going to attempt if possible three times a year. Gives me something to work towards. Due to house sale I have February a done deal.

Going back defininately in June as well...''

l love christmas but for some reason I want the new year to start!

joyep · #14 26-12-2006, 03:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathleenbilly

That's my main problem looking back and worrying about what people think once I'm over that 'll be OK. And i'm getting over it!

Well I'm going to spent good quality time in Thailand sure i love the girls with the weather included the whole place is fantastic.

I am going to attempt if possible three times a year. Gives me something to work towards. Due to house sale I have February a done deal.

Going back defininately in June as well...''

l love christmas but for some reason I want the new year to start!

Good to hear.I think you did a wise dissision.I was in Thailand for the first time in July 06 for 4 weeks and it really change my life.

So now i really looking forwards to get my 4 week july adventure every year,and hopefully even more often in the years to come.

I really enjoy Thailand and for me it was an eye opener and i know that the only way possible for these trips,is to live single(and I`m happy with that)even if other people i know that live their 9-5 lives(with wifes,children etc)tells me that that is not the right way to live....so be it.I dont feel that 9-5 is my way for a life!

kathleenbilly · #15 26-12-2006, 03:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by joyep

I really enjoy Thailand and for me it was an eye opener and i know that the only way possible for these trips,is to live single(and I`m happy with that)even if other people i know that live their 9-5 lives(with wifes,children etc)tells me that that is not the right way to live....so be it.I dont feel that 9-5 is my way for a life!

It good to hear others too have the same attitude and for that I salute you!

I am starting to be more focused on the good, It's starting to matter less and less what people think which was always my biggest hang up.

joyep · #16 26-12-2006, 03:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathleenbilly

It good to hear others too have the same attitude and for that I salute you!

I am starting to be more focused on the good, It's starting to matter less and less what people think which was always my biggest hang up.

Agree with you there.It is easy to listen to what other people says.But how do they know how to live your life the best way?The only thing i see for them is that they are always tired,kid awake all night,fighting with wife etc.always somthing that ain`t tight.

I really are happy for my friend Erik(major tom on the forum)that took the big step and quit his job and moved to Thailand.hope to do so in the future too.

slinggalin · #17 29-12-2006, 05:27

I luv it and don't care what others think. I get a grand vacation, great weather, treated like i'm somebody, and I have the company of awesome looking women every single day when I want and how.

to me its cheaper and you don't have to bother answering to anyone everyday. Too old fer that..

for some guys, not fer me.

Heck i look at all of the guys that are tied down and misereable. My friend envy my life. they tell me everyday..

palaceboy · #18 29-12-2006, 16:31

You will always pay for sex, one way or the other, on most of my visits to Patong I have found a nice girl one of the first days, I'll then keep her for the duration of my stay, normally a month.
Up to now I have been lucky, no price agreed on, I try to give them a good time and treat them like you would treat any other girl in Europe.
On my departure day I'll hand them an envelope with between 30.000 and 50.000 bath, and they have all been happy with that.
I have also along the way been to their bar and paid the bar fine, normally for a week at a time.