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#71
20-05-2007, 23:00
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I don't count myself a cynic, but I'm with you on this one, Crustasian. I'm not really against sending money, but it is out-of-line for her to ask for cash after such a short time together. Someone has told her farangs are rich and gullible, and she's testing it out. If he really wants to pursue this relationship, he should lay down the law right now. Refuse the loan, and then he'll know how much she really likes him. She'll either stay because she cares for him or leave because she only cared for his money. 
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#72
20-05-2007, 23:36
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Damn straight! How dare she ask her boyfriend for bus fare to visit her Dad in a family emergency. Just cause she is broke from all those international phone calls to England. Cut her off with out a nickel and make her prove her love to you. The cultural gap in some of these posts makes the Grand Canyon look like a sidewalk crack.... Good line about the hotel room Crustasian but if your 10 year GF said she needed the money to go visit her family we both know you would not tell her to "F" off. ....Enjoy.
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#74
21-05-2007, 05:41
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I hope it's not too late for me to join this discusssion...! There maybe some hotels that require hospitality/tourism STUDENTS to pay if they want to do their field work/training in the hotel, especially the 5 star ones. But even in Indonesia, I don't recall knowing any hotel that will not pay its in-training staff. They will only give you a piece of contract saying that if you leave the job (you'll get your salary, of course) before the minimum time required to work there (to repay your training), you'lll have to pay some penalties.
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LIL, this comment is not directed to you, ok  . It's just a general thought of mine, stimulated, from reading your post.Yes, I think, if you're only their FRIENDS, they most likely will pay you back the money they own. But not when you are their BF/husband, I believe. A woman has higher expectation for her bf/husband. I am not saying that asking for money while you just start a long distance relship is ok. I simply pointed that when you have a special relship, expectation is higher. It applies to both the woman and man. Quote:
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 hehehee... Well... I wish I would get my visa soon so that I can earn my own money...Quote:
. Quote:
If you're only friends with her, you can assume she'll pay you back - but you have to clarify this to her before you send her anything. And re-clarify again that you'll need the money back someday. (but be ready if she doesn't pay, so that you don't feel hurt if she doesnt). If during the time you become boyfriend-girlfriend, forget your credit balance with her, as she most likely will assume the money as your 'gift' Mm.... I have to go to buy some milk. Husband's mates were coming last nite to watch some races, and there were many empty latte cups I found this morning in the kitchen
__________________
Greetings, from a Melburnian
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#75
21-05-2007, 07:37
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YouTube - Fast Show - 13th Duke of Wybourne I don't know why but I've always had an imagine in my mind of tintin looking like the painter guy johnny who goes on those crazy rants at the word black...
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#76
21-05-2007, 15:04
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Ones you start to feel that someone is not honoust with you then most of the times that feeling is thru.
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#77
21-05-2007, 21:16
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wow....sound like real party animals 5555 i hate having to clean up those pesky "latte" cups when i have friends over in the morning
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#78
21-05-2007, 21:56
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LOL yeah.. The ones at the bottom of the pool are a real pisser..
Bet they are feeling the caffeine crash this morning huh !!
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#79
21-05-2007, 22:34
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and those nights when you are still up at 7am drinking lattes!!! i need help 5555
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#80
22-05-2007, 01:08
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reply and decisions
Hi everyone , I haven't replied because I was working during the week-end and needed to get away from thinking about it but it didn't really work . So here are my thoughts :
I do not accept the fact she asked me for money and gave me no time to think about it ( i repeat : she called friday morning @ 11am and wanted $$$ for Monday )...WTF? give me some time . I did not consider her to be like all the others as she has a regular job and the last thing i wanted her was thinking of me being an ATM , i told her once I come we spend some time together, know each other and if you want you can come on holidays to the UK for 1 , 2 , 3 weeks .....because i like your company and want to show you around. Called her Saturday night and she started crying and saying you do not understand me , i wait for you ( yeah right...) more crying , then she txt me today: Thanks for everything, I am sorry. Sorry for what ? you first ask and then you are sorry to ask? Uhmmmm.... I havent replied and i dont think i will for a couple of days. Thought to walk a different lane but i was wrong. life is so complicated some times , no easy way in no easy way out. You guys are incredible. Some many views, so many years of experience. Have fun .
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#81
22-05-2007, 03:24
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If you can't handle a simple request for help the you should bail out immediately.
I don't differentiate too much between BG's and GG's but clearly it's important to you, just walk away - you're not equipped with either sufficient knowledge or assets to make this work.
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#82
22-05-2007, 07:45
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Maybe she didnt ant to ask, so puts it off until the last minute, hoping something else would come up.. In fact the sudden need for it ASAP makes me think it is probably a genuine problem or crisis. Quote:
If you dont want to be the provider despite your immense difference in earning potential then consider your commitment to her, how much you do actually feel for her.. As you said yourself this was the sacrifice of one night out.. I am not saying you should or should not have sent the money but shes asked for what is basically a little thing and your hurt and put out. Why ?? As to the holiday.. Are you familiar with the process for getting her visa's ?? This is non trivial, requiring (usually) multiple trips to bkk, interview, application fees, etc.. Also is this OK for a 'good girl' to just leave her job for a period ?? This isnt just a case of having 2 weeks off and booking a ticket. Quote:
A very basic and clear case of culture clash. If your considering carrying this on I suggest you very quickly get a book called 'Thailand Fever' and maybe even post her one too.. From what I have seen of it, it was a very clear guide to some of the social issues and differences that your running into, the male provider role (and get used to it being for her family also if this gets serious), the expectations and social norms. If this is just some holiday fun and a nice person you met, you may need to make that decision and make that clear.. That probably wont be and easy talk. However if you do like this person enough to consider time together and start some kind of a relationship you need to get a crash course what that relationship will be like, and thats nothing like the 50:50 style relationships of the west you may have experienced.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#83
22-05-2007, 15:34
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I would suggest we stop bombarding the OP with various opinions for a moment. Everything that has been said before has now been nicely summarized by LiL. Enough to digest for a year and enough to make an educated decision ;-)
__________________
 ...life's good
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#84
23-05-2007, 14:26
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Somebody send him some roses so he can wake up and smell them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another good book that should be required reading before entering a relationship is 'Confessions of a Bangkok Dyck (gotta beat the spell check somehow!!)' the tales of a Kiwi PI over here. Clears through the muddle of tears before bedtime and 'u no unnastan me!' Mind you it may put some people off their true loves, some of who we know are out there and genuine. Its always difficult to generalise but when you compare the number of people who have been burned to the number who haven't its not difficlut. prime example I was in a bar at the beginning of Dec, there was a wedding reception going on in the next bar for which the guy had put 100k behind the bar (name me any bar in Soi Easy that could hold 100k of stock- no wonder the momma san looked so happy!) The guy had met Tilak and first night given her 20k, 2nd nite 20k, 3rd day bought gold and sent money up north. 4th day they downtown getting married. His first trip to Thailand mid forties, obviously lived with his mum. By 1030pm Tilak passed out, the only one having fun was the katoey Maid of Honour running around in his posh frock with his t*ts hanging out. 2 months later I in next door bar with my friend again and I see the blushing bride back working, no ring on her finger. I say to my bedwarmer 'I thought she get marry?' She say 'they finish'. He go home to Mum with empty balls and empty wallet.
__________________
When I was 25 I knew everything, now I'm 45 I realize how little I actually know. Back with a big stick 
Last edited by Simbo : 23-05-2007 at 14:37.
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#86
24-05-2007, 07:27
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and who said TG's don't understand English.........perfect summation...short and sweet...........gotta love it.....another one for my book of BG quotes Simbo
__________________
 ....but of course I was verey verey draaank at the taaame!!!
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