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#1
18-05-2007, 21:30
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My TGF just asked for $$$$$ for her father
Guys , need your help ....and I thought it would never happen to me, I found the perfect angel loving me for what and who I am but here it is ....
Quick backround : meet her in november,spend most of the time with her and she does not work in a bar but in a optic center up in Phuket town, seems a genuine friend, never asked for anything, has plenty of friends working like normal people at markets and shops and loves to go to BKK and to see her family up north , she calls , i call , we talk about chit chat things and life goes on. I pormised her I would come back soon ( work is soo busy right now) and was planning a surprise by mid July , she also said she had a new job offer in a large 5***** hotel but she would be out of pocket as they did not pay her salary for 3 months under a training schedule contract so I said no problems I would be able to help you with your rent and so on , like 10,000B not much here anyway and if she is happy than a smile is worth a much more....this morning she calls while I am late for work and says she needs to go and see her father on Monday (koh Khaen) and needs money , if I can send her money for monday ( she didnt say how much ) and I told her it is friday here all banks are shut and i need more time, but then she got more pushy and said I did not understand her and ...so on. Have I been trapped by the Thai girl bar type? money for my father ? Have i really spend almost 8 months thinking I new her but suddenly she is like all just a money sucker? so sad , was thinking of having 10 days in July with her and treath her like a queen, maybe a short flight to Hong Kong and so on... she had no reason to ask for money, specailly not for monday , so quickly as today is only friday. What do you think? change my plan and fly to Brazil in July and see the other site of the world? Thank you all.  
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#2
18-05-2007, 21:38
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Western Union is open, you could do it online. Quote:
I think it's difficult to say based on the little info you posted. Also, you don't know how much it's going to be ? Anyway, if this is your TGF as you say, this will not be the last time you will need to sponsor her father/family. If you're serious with her, it's her task to support her family. If you're in doubt, I wouldn't call her your GF. I know, not the best of advise, but just some first thoughts of mine.
__________________
 ...life's good 
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#3
18-05-2007, 21:46
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But things like this dont happen here in the UK, my ex never called me and said ohhh can you give me £500 quite please today because i need to help my father . Here you go out, pay for a meal ( sometimes 50/50) buy some presents but money is not an issues. If my ex would have asked for me £500 then i thought she had a drug problem or something , maybe even a lover with drug problems . Anyway I have only seen the girl some days last year and we were planning another holidays in July . I dont go and ask for money people living 7000miles across the globe. She looked so innocent....life is full of surprises.
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#4
18-05-2007, 21:47
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Hard to say......it doesn't seem like a big thing she needs money for; which could be a sign of things to come if you stump up.
But you never can tel. I reckon send it to her this time and you'll soon get a feel for if she starts expecting it again or asks again. You just have to think that she coped before, so it's not like she totally needs you in order to survive
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#5
18-05-2007, 21:50
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... and if you do call her your GF, think about how you plan to maintain and/or grow the relationship. From November to July is a long time ... a very long time.
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#6
18-05-2007, 21:51
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Thank you. 1) how do you send money there ? I have never send money to anyone...so excuse my ignorance. 2) I mean what education is this to call someone on Friday (with a full day of work ahead and a long week) and ask for money to be transfered by monday. WTF? I thought she was a girl with a job, not thinking of me like a money maker rich western who spends and is like father Xmas . I wanted love and a smile not someone calling for my Credit card . I dont mind if I live with my wife-GF to help out or pay for a holidays or share our salary 50-50 but not with someone I only meet 10 days ( 5 in total )? Guys you are great , I couldnt tell this to anyone and this site just ROCKS. Thank you all
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#7
18-05-2007, 21:53
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That's because in the UK your ex-girls family all have health insurance who cover this. It's not the case in Thailand. It's the kids task (more precise the daughters task) to take care of her family. Also, girls in the West have received education and most likely a job so they can take care of themselves better. You can't compare appels with pears.
__________________
...life's good
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#8
18-05-2007, 21:57
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#9
18-05-2007, 21:57
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this money issue is something you do have to deal with if you want to get involved with most thai girls its just a fact you have to ask yourself if thats what you want to get into and then set boundaries with her
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#10
18-05-2007, 21:59
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Create a account and pay with your credit card. It's easy. Quote:
If that's what you think/want/expect, don't get into a relationship with a Thai girl. One reason I posted above. There are many more, you better get yourself a little bit more familiar what it really takes to make such a relationship successful. Of cause it's not all about money, but it's an important factor you will have to bare in mind.
__________________
...life's good
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#11
18-05-2007, 22:05
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Theres your big mistake.. Sorry to say but I reckon you dont really get these girls at all.. Let me guess, when you were together she made you feel like a million bucks, took care of you, etc.. To her your a millionaire (whether you are skint and on the dole thats what they think.. And they are not far wrong) you have the millionaires appeal.. Because you can change her life because of your earning potential. This is Thailand.. Take the girl and receive the family (but not for free) its a package deal. Hard to say if shes milking you like the villiage buffalow or if she does have a real problem that she needs help with, that would need much mroe info and sussing out.
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#12
18-05-2007, 23:36
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If you feel at all like you are being taken,than take a break from her.Tell her you are going on business trip or something.She is going no where fast,she will always pic up your phone call.As for her father,he may need her help and you are her only source of help.Do it maybe once,and never again.Good luck
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#13
19-05-2007, 00:26
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do it once never again? uhmmmm
Not sure what to do, it is the principle , she shouldn't have asked me for money like i would no ask my parents for money ..... we only know each other for a short period of time ( here in the uk 7-8months is a short period anyway)...and i feel she has stepped on the only line i didn't want her to go. money is not an issue as 10k is only £140? so a night drinking really but is the fact that she has asked like i need it for monday ( while today is friday) not like i can not pay the rent next months or so or want to buy a motor bike in the future and need a bit of a deposit , can you help me? no 48hs , she made herself look like all the other girls on the bar scene, actually i would had no problems sending some money to a bar girl because I am aware how it all works and that is the price you pay....
anyway i think i am going to give it a miss, tell her to F***K off and never call me again as I was planning for her to come over here and organize a free mini holiday for her . Feel so confused and angry. We all have to learn and and today is my day. Asta magnana.
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#14
19-05-2007, 00:34
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What hotel does she work at?
Not getting paid for three months? Sorry but that's a plain lie a five star hotel dosen't do that. Wake up.
__________________
"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" W.C. Fields
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#15
19-05-2007, 00:37
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i know you do feel angry and confused your ego just got deflated in a way and makes you question her motives(it is a natural reaction and has happened to many guys, myself included) what you should do is tell her you cannot help her but give her an opportunity to see how she reacts if she continues to want to be in contact with no money benefits, i see no reason why you shouldnt go and see her for another visit and then suss out what you want from relaionship you are fortunate you have this board to discuss this. if yu told your friends at home, they wouldnt understand
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#16
19-05-2007, 00:37
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western union....... or get your gfs account number ans transfer to said account. ij
__________________
ROLL ON OCTOBER........
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#17
19-05-2007, 00:42
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Don't feel to angry with her, it's a little bit your fault or naivity as well. You can't just assume that a different culture 6000 miles away on a different continent works just the same as where you're coming from. At least you don't seem too much blinded of love and you set your own limits. As for the free mini-holiday for her, that's another great topic you would need to get yourself educated on before even going there. It's not just a case of booking a ticket online for her. Search this forum for visa info. What I'm trying to say is the following: It's all a wonderful, the greatest experience and absolutely worth it, but only if you really support her a 100 % and feel comfortable all along the way.
__________________
...life's good
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#18
19-05-2007, 01:34
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#19
19-05-2007, 01:57
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To be honest you set the wheels in motion yourself when you gave her the 10k baht. Her story of no wages for 3 months sounds like BS but regardless...thai girls don't need rescuing by farang money from every little financial problem they run into. I'm not saying you shouldn't have helped her out but you need to understand that at the point you did that you changed the nature of your relationship with her to that of a sponsoring BF.
Regards the latest request I'd guess what happened is that family caught wind of the cash injection and her new job (likely from her bragging about both herself) and dad has effectively responded with "great, now you can give us 10000 baht/buy me XXXX". She's in a situation now where she has to deliver or face disappointing the family and a massive loss of face, hence the need/request for "some" amount of money with no specific reason or amount given. You should take note of both marc26 posts I think they are the best summary and advice you will see on the thread. It sounds like you are leaning towards a breakup however so I would just add in that case I don't think a "F*** off" to her would be a fair response - you are partially responsible for this situation by giving her certain expectations by your own actions. As has been said it is possible to recover from this but it involves figuring out what you want and then setting the boundaries. Last edited by brit : 19-05-2007 at 02:15.
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