another golden rule which could of gone

[eric-the-viking]

Many of us on this forum are all pretty long in the tooth ,to the point were we start to give advise out to those who we would consider newbies and just experiancing the new LOS and all the delights that pull us back like a magnet.(shame it was not the same as say 3 years ago still never mind)
we even make a point of informing fellow farang types etc to the pit falls of what could well be a head of them when they encounter these creaatures of shear beauty,
well all tell them not to fall for them , not to over pay them ,not to send them money and some of us even go as far as the 72hour rule so as not to get attached to them.
should they get a freebie ,it will not be long for the phone call and the sick releative appears,now bear with me on this guys yes ive been down the club on the cheap beer again.
but i was reading a thread earlier and i will not mention the ladies name but i could not help but think to myself ,yes but lads these girls do play a very clever game with our weak emotions . BUT to start with they are only there to make a living under the kind of family pressure or pressure from else where that we can not imagine in our cultre,with what little they have to offer.
it was then i realised how close to breaking another one of my own golden rules i had become.
the is a certain lady who works in soi eric, like i say no mention of names or bars etc.
anyway since i have been back in England we have kept in constant touch either sms ,email or her calling my mobile, i would like to think we have become v-good friends and i hope i am not wrong , but i have also realised how close and how easy it is to fall for a B.G. hence it would be the breaking of one of my own golden rules.
in the past i have stayed on a friendly basis with other b.g`s and one keeps in regular touch as a friend ,even more so now she is living in norway with her boyfriend.
i suppose what i am saying while under the influance of drink is lets lay of these girls a little ,they have only a short time to make any real money and they face more dangers everyday with different customres with things like aids,hiv etc etc than we do in our 9-5 jobs.
shit may be i have fallen for a B.G and not realised it .
so before you all shot me down i have already said to such person i know you work in a bar but can be the best of friends at least.

[CJE]

Originally Posted by eric-the-viking

Many of us on this forum are all pretty long in the tooth ,to the point were we start to give advise out to those who we would consider newbies and just experiancing the new LOS and all the delights that pull us back like a magnet.(shame it was not the same as say 3 years ago still never mind)
we even make a point of informing fellow farang types etc to the pit falls of what could well be a head of them when they encounter these creaatures of shear beauty,
well all tell them not to fall for them , not to over pay them ,not to send them money and some of us even go as far as the 72hour rule so as not to get attached to them.
should they get a freebie ,it will not be long for the phone call and the sick releative appears,now bear with me on this guys yes ive been down the club on the cheap beer again.
but i was reading a thread earlier and i will not mention the ladies name but i could not help but think to myself ,yes but lads these girls do play a very clever game with our weak emotions . BUT to start with they are only there to make a living under the kind of family pressure or pressure from else where that we can not imagine in our cultre,with what little they have to offer.
it was then i realised how close to breaking another one of my own golden rules i had become.
the is a certain lady who works in soi eric, like i say no mention of names or bars etc.
anyway since i have been back in England we have kept in constant touch either sms ,email or her calling my mobile, i would like to think we have become v-good friends and i hope i am not wrong , but i have also realised how close and how easy it is to fall for a B.G. hence it would be the breaking of one of my own golden rules.
in the past i have stayed on a friendly basis with other b.g`s and one keeps in regular touch as a friend ,even more so now she is living in norway with her boyfriend.
i suppose what i am saying while under the influance of drink is lets lay of these girls a little ,they have only a short time to make any real money and they face more dangers everyday with different customres with things like aids,hiv etc etc than we do in our 9-5 jobs.
shit may be i have fallen for a B.G and not realised it .
so before you all shot me down i have already said to such person i know you work in a bar but can be the best of friends at least.

I am new to this forum but an old hand in Asia and Thailand. I moved out to Asia in 1989 and have lived in Hong Kong, Korea, Indonesia, Taiwan, Thailand, and now China. I am one of these individuals who will never go back with a farange woman - they are boring, uninteresting, and DO NOT know how to satisfy a man.

While I have lived in Asia for 15 years I would still not consider myself an Asian expert. I do know that I will remain out here and retire here. I am an American but will not return for retirement.

I am currently in a relationship with a Mainland Chinese woman who I will most likely marry. She was a BG in China for several years. What I have found is that I needed to put aside my western prejudice and understand why many of these girls - whether China or Thailand get into this business. In almost all cases it has to do with money and difficult family financial situations. Yes I am not naive enough to not know that many of these girls make up lies about why they need money BUT in many cases the use for the money is not for themselves but for their family.

It took me 3 years to get my future wife to trust me as an individual. These BG's do not trust men. They know that 60% of them are married and having a good time in LOS or whereever.

These woman are tougher than any western woman would ever hope to be. In many cases they deserve our respect as this is the only way for them to make significant money.

And yes they do make us feel wonderful and can bring us sexual highs that we will never experience with a western woman.

Enough of my soapbox and I apologize gents but I do know that all of us need to take our Western prejudices and sometimes shit can them. Eric you make good comments on this forum and I enjoy reading them.

Will be in LOS in 2 days and will come to see the famous MTB.

[mikegb]

Hi Eric,

I completely agree with what you say.

I think the bottom line though, is the difference between making friends with a nice person, and having a 'relationship in your mind', with a prostitute from the other side of the world.

I have met some really nice, warm, friendly people on my tours of thailand (both ladies and ladyboys).

All of us that have been lukcy enough to go to Thailand know that not all of these girls are hard nosed buggers.

If I was faced with the choice of giving money to a charity where I never see what happens to the money, or giving a bit of extra money to a person who has really made me feel special, then the vote goes to Thailand every time.

We must just be careful we dont get sucked into a situation which gets too much out of hand (i.e. sending a few hundred pounds a month).

Adios

[river]

Sorry have to disagree with CJE on Western woman I've had my fair share of good ones. The biggest difference in my book is Asian woman will go out of there way to make a man happy they consider it thier duty where as western woman are the other way around.

Respect the girls and they will respect you.

[Apollo]

Enjoy all the posts on this thread so far. Eric, while I hardly disagree with your sentiments, I must admit to falling within Mike's camp on this issue. THIS DOESN'T MEAN I/we think they're "bad" women or people. I strongly do not recommend, however, getting too involved with them in terms of apermanent, l/t relationship. We could discuss this for hours, but for now, suffice it to say that ANY relationship automatically has tons of problems and issues. To throw in the money exchange, the girl's family, that dowry business, the fact that she's banged more men than any of want to even think about, the cultural and linguistic differences, geography. On and on. Just not a safe bet, IMO. Take care Eric and keep these posts coming! I enjoy reading your thoughts and am sure you don't mind if we respectfully disagree on something.

Cheers

[IRISH JONNY]

HI BOYS........
LETS BE HONEST ABOUT THINGS.........
I SUPPOSE ONE COULD FALL FOR A BG AND ONE MIGHT WONDER HOW MANY GUYS HAVE BEEN WITH HER...........BUT LETS PUT THE SHOE ON THE OTHER FOOT...OUT OF MY 8 TOURS I HAVE DEFINETLY SLEPT WITH OVER 250 BGs , FLs AND GO GO GIRLS.........
NOW WILL A TG TRUST ME A FARANG........WILL SHE FALL FOR ME? CAN SHE POSSIBLY HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME?
SORRY FOR RAMBLING.......BUT IM PISSED AT HAVING TO WORK ON SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY./...
JONNY

[ante]

Originally Posted by IRISH JONNY

HI BOYS........
LETS BE HONEST ABOUT THINGS.........
I SUPPOSE ONE COULD FALL FOR A BG AND ONE MIGHT WONDER HOW MANY GUYS HAVE BEEN WITH HER...........BUT LETS PUT THE SHOE ON THE OTHER FOOT...OUT OF MY 8 TOURS I HAVE DEFINETLY SLEPT WITH OVER 250 BGs , FLs AND GO GO GIRLS.........
NOW WILL A TG TRUST ME A FARANG........WILL SHE FALL FOR ME? CAN SHE POSSIBLY HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME?
SORRY FOR RAMBLING.......BUT IM PISSED AT HAVING TO WORK ON SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY./...
JONNY

And a falang lady maybe wonder how many bg's you/me slept with. And a bg maybe wondering the same.
In other words...are we so much better than the lady we are ****ing? maybe not! And who´s bad, the one that fcuk for money or the one that fcuk "with
the money" or both? Don´t know. Crazy world

[eric-the-viking]

oh my god did i write this ?
hmmm after a night on the stella, grolsch and carling premier extra cold i reall y should keep away from a computer.
do not get me wrong i ment what i said ,after all another way of looking at it is if we look at ourselves , we leave school and wonder into to some form of employment ,which as we get older and more experianced in the more we are respected we become in our trade.
these girls/boys the majority grow up watching the family struggle to make ends meet ,but they respect their family and what it means to be in that family .
so imagine what it must be like to make the desicion to sell your body to some sweaty probaly ugly farang who wants to do things to you that you could not imagine ever in your worst nightmares.i know some of the ladies do suffer abuse from an early age from their own families and that is another subject for another day.
but as they grow older the chances of making big money become vey slim,as the well paying farangs go more for the younger 20 something girls ,
i often wonder what happens to the ladies when they reach that certain age , only a few become mamasans,so what becomes of the ones who have to disappear into the darkness.
hmmm think im rambling again but the is no pension scheme i know of for any one on the game.
time for a resolve and strong coffee,

[butterflyblonde]

Most of what has been said here is all very true and all very real for many people in the sex trade , not just thailand but all round the world where poverty exists . I know what your saying ETV , you know i have fallen 2 times over there and its taken a big slap in the face to wake me up , the trouble is , even though we know its almost suicide to get involved in a faraway relationship which is always doomed to be highly complex , i think many men who travel los , like me ..think they can ''rescue'' this girl and give her a better life , maybe you have started feeling paternal towards this girl too.
I recently purchased some books which have been mentioned here before , patpong sisters/hello my big big honey/travels in the skin trade and i also have that dowload of private dancer from the link Nicke provided , im still waiting for patpong sisters as its coming from the usa , im halfway through hello my big big honey which is fascinating reading , especially as you know these letters are all real , however i would recommend Travels in the skin trade by Jeremy Seabrook , its a very good read but more importantly is very deep on the issues facing both the b/g and the customer , after reading it i found i related to many parts of it , i even felt bad about going to los and the things ive done , some of the things that go on there are just sheer cruelty beyond any of our imagination , including forced brothel labour (for thai's) many rapes of daughters by thier fathers and the list goes on and on and on .
i think we must all try and spare a thought about this from time to time.
I would love to win the lottery and make one of those little beauties dreams come true one day but even with all that money i think its still hard to keep a thai girl bearing in mind you marry her , you also marry her family . anyway ill shut up now , im rambling too and not even drunk

[eric-the-viking]

soloum promise .lads night out tonight ,good crowd of us hitting birmingham city centre so i guess i will be out of it again , but i will do my best to keep away from the p.c and ramble on in a drunken state.

[Skorpionen]

Originally Posted by eric-the-viking

soloum promise .lads night out tonight ,good crowd of us hitting birmingham city centre so i guess i will be out of it again , but i will do my best to keep away from the p.c and ramble on in a drunken state.

hi Etv
have a nice night on the town

dont do anything i wouldnt do!

[eric-the-viking]

good night was had by all, ended up in the Aussie bar(walk about to them in the uk)live band etc , semi nice western chicks ,but damm my brother he only went got me ratted again , families eh

[IRISH JONNY]

Originally Posted by butterflyblonde

I recently purchased some books which have been mentioned here before , patpong sisters/hello my big big honey/travels in the skin trade and i also have that dowload of private dancer from the link Nicke provided , im still waiting for patpong sisters as its coming from the usa , im halfway through hello my big big honey which is fascinating reading , especially as you know these letters are all real , however i would recommend Travels in the skin trade by Jeremy Seabrook , its a very good read but more importantly is very deep on the issues facing both the b/g and the customer ,

HI BUTTERFLY I HAVE READ ALL OF THE ABOVE BOOKS EXCEPT FOR HELL MY BIG HONEY ..I ORDERED THAT LAST WEEK...IS IT GOOD?
I AGREE WITH YOU ON THE SKIN TRADE BOOK....HEAVY READING BUT INTERSTING FACTS........
JONNY

[butterflyblonde]

Originally Posted by IRISH JONNY

HI BUTTERFLY I HAVE READ ALL OF THE ABOVE BOOKS EXCEPT FOR HELL MY BIG HONEY ..I ORDERED THAT LAST WEEK...IS IT GOOD?
I AGREE WITH YOU ON THE SKIN TRADE BOOK....HEAVY READING BUT INTERSTING FACTS........
JONNY

Hi Jonny,
Yes , its very good , its a mixture of real love letters sent to bar girls and interviews with b/gs and a few katoey in between , again when you read this book so much of it will ring true

[Heywood]

I must say I think I've enjoyed this bit more than most..so thanks Eric for starting it...Drunk as you may have been you hit a nerve of sorts.

I have been with a Thai woman for 3yrs, I was married to a falang women for 13yr before she passed on, I myself would never be with another western woman...not long term anyway. Someone posted the exact reason, there is pride that Asian women seem to get from being good women and being spoiled is most men's idea of heaven, I for one am constantly reminding myself that life is good and I am a lucky man.

Now, there are complications from the culture difference, but I've learned to not put my ways as the only way. Is the importance of family not something we all want?

I most certainly believe there are too many pitfalls for the average man to allow himself to get too involved with a bg, friends...sure....F**K buddies...absolutely, but long distant relationship...its not even good with a non bg so you have to think.

There is no secret way or golden rule for us all to follow, we each have our own ways of looking at things, don't you guys know that the bar girls have there outlook on things... We are both using each other, for one reason or another but make no mistake each of us has our motivations....be it a hard on or a poor family to support.

As to what happens to old bg's, well what happens to old engineers?? we might have a longer working life cycle..but we do wear out. Don't forget we only think of something as being normal if that is what we have grown up being shown that its right and ok. Some return home to have a "normal life" while others go on to marry falang or otherwise, they just never talk about that part of there lives, the older ones keep it to themselves.

So I say enjoy life, explore if you are an explorer at heart, love more and hate less, in the end all that you have is the experiences you have had along the way, I think you will find that setting rules for yourself will only lead to having more boundaries and less fun.

I myself would not setout to marry a bg, but then I would never setout to marry a secretary or a teacher nor any other defined woman, I know what I like, I know how I want to be treated and what I will and will not accept, so if you choose to give do so with a smile, but with no expectations if you can't do that then be polite and say I simply do not have the extra to help if she is a friend then it will not be a problem.

Thanks for listening to my two cents worth.

[IRISH JONNY]

Originally Posted by Heywood

I most certainly As to So I say enjoy life, explore if you are an explorer at heart, love more and hate less, in the end all that you have is the experiences you have had along the way, I think you will find that setting rules for yourself will only lead to having more boundaries and less fun.

GREAT QUOTE GUY..........
MAKES A GUY THINK FOR A WHILE.......WHAT YOU PUT INTO LIFE IS WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET OUT OF IT...........
JONNY

[marc26]

I think that all your posts are great and ive even asked a few of you for advice. I was only in LOS once and leave tomorrow for 2nd time. and i spent a week with a girl and was generous with taing her out,dinners,gifts, and whatnot, and have talked to her since, but if she ever came out and asked me to send her money, i would never even think of doing so and i dont know hy anyone in their right mind would ever. Like i said, when i was there, i treated the BG probably better than she ever has been that week, but id never think about sending her any money. Just my opinion!! By the way thanks to butterfly and irish johnny for your advice in the past

[r3aps]

Originally Posted by marc26

I think that all your posts are great and ive even asked a few of you for advice. I was only in LOS once and leave tomorrow for 2nd time. and i spent a week with a girl and was generous with taing her out,dinners,gifts, and whatnot, and have talked to her since, but if she ever came out and asked me to send her money, i would never even think of doing so and i dont know hy anyone in their right mind would ever. Like i said, when i was there, i treated the BG probably better than she ever has been that week, but id never think about sending her any money. Just my opinion!! By the way thanks to butterfly and irish johnny for your advice in the past

i agree with you,when i am in los i like to think i treat any girl i am with very well indeed,i take them out,buy food and drinks for them and there friends,buy them cigarettes take the odd 1 or 2 out on daytrips etc.i have never had any complaints.i think thats what causes me a few problems as i treat the girls pretty good and when they see me with another girl they may realise what they are missing out on.i have met forum members who have mentioned to me i spend to much money on drinks for the girls,but i enjoy having a good time with others around me.i have only had 1 girl ask me for money when i have got home and i have said no.i now no the scams after learning the trademark signs from most of the guys on this board that i have met,but i will never send money to a bg,i no they are good girls at heart(most anyway) and do what they do out of necessity rather than willingness,but i no that they play us off against each other and many have loads of guys sending them money,i dont need the bull siht stories and lack of funds on my behalf to make a bg feel better.so i say treat the well when you are there,but draw the line at sending them money when you are not there.

[marc26]

i live in the NYC, i just went out friday night and spend 225.00 in 3 hours at the bar. when im out i like to have a good time, and when i was in LOS, i definitely was spending money. i was buying my BG'S friends drinks because they did not have a man, but as soon as i told her her friends were asking for drinks too much, she told them to stop and they did. But i do spend money when im there,justas i do in NYC, but cant imagine sending money when im not there.

[butterflyblonde]

I would like to say i echo the sentiments of everything already said , treat them like a princess when you are there and enjoy it for what it is, the hard part is getting used to leaving but im finding it less heart breaking each time so that depressing feeling you get does pass and theres always a next time.
I want to say to Howard that i enjoyed your post , it made a very interesting read , im curious to know about how you met your thai girl of 3 yrs and if you have married or live together ?
To Marc26 , as ive said before you are always welcome from advice from anyone here , I dont want to get slushy on you all but this site is by far one of the best forums going , i have looked into many others before (no names mentioned) and found that although there is good info to be had there too and some decent members , there also seems to be a lot of *****ing going on between (some) forum members , that kinda shit dont happen here , we do occasionaly take the mickey out of each other and have light hearted fun but everybody here is top notch IMHO and occasionly you read posts and see the sensitive side of a member which is quite touching , and you can also relate to other members experience , all in all , a great place to be