I'm looking to find a genuine thai lady

[kathleenbilly]

Hello guys its been few years since i first joined this forum as a newbie,

The first time i went to Thailand i will never forget it best time of my life and a serious changing point even now i smile about it just thinking about it...''

However been back a few times since travelled around learned so much even into Cambodia i have f**ck more than i could ever wish for loved every minute of it felt like a 18 year boy again those were the days eh.

But i want to settle down i had my time i'm 38 i met so many bar girls but have learned over the years that these girls ruined due to the constant bar scene as per a pervious post are not something you want to keep.

Anyway since i started here i will finish here i have gone with a thai introduction service in Bangkok to meet a genuine Thai women who like myself wants to make a real go of it, never worked in a bar and someone i can take home to my mother, i have signed up and paid my money and will be in Bangkok this December to see it through and hopefully meet my future wife i sitting here having a few beers talking to you guys because no-else knows what i'm doing so any response or opinions would be appreiciated.

It is something i do will do everything i can to make it work

[IRISH JONNY]

Best Of Luck Mate.......ij

[sidvicious]

Good luck mate.Just remember keep an open mind and take it step by step.

[Denver]

To be perfectly honest and I have said this to lots of blokes out here, I am just out of a long marriage (16 years) and certainly not ready for another one just yet.

I am not knocking marriage but I am going to have to say, internet brides is not the way I personally would go about it. Then again, I'm not you. Likewise, some BG's are 'keepers' and not all necessarily ruined by the 'scene' IMHO.

If you got the opportunity to take some time out from work and home and come over to Thailand for 3-6 months and see how things panned out in finding that 'certain' girl for yourself.

I've never had a 'warm and fuzzy' feeling about internet brides. I do wish you luck and do hope you find what you want in life. Stop making yourself seem old at 38.................It hasn't even started yet! 55555555

Mai pen rai and Chok de fella

[slinggalin]

Must agree with Denver on that one. I myself would not be too keen on internet arrangements. I know myself that after going to LOS for these many times I've met a few girls along the way that I would really take home to mom.......

That is if I were ever going to jump into that situation again, but doubt it

I hope things work out fer you and that u land a keeper. Not just someone whos jumped on the net to try and lasso a money train.

Good luck mate....and best to ya..

[Patrs]

Wow, you're only 38 and ready to settle. I'm in my early 40's and I'm not ready to settle down. Let me rephrase that, at the moment, I'm not looking for love. I'm letting love find me. Anyway, enough about me. Since I've been coming to LOS the vast majority of TG, and BG I've met are all genuine. In my eyes, there's no such thing as a perfect mate. As a good friend of mine told me once, you have to play with the cards you have on the table. Like so many BG and TG told me, all I want is someone with a good heart to take care of me. Well,I do hope you find a lovely TG with a good heart to take care of you.

[Bushdoctor]

My TG has talked with me about this before. She says that some families will even sell land or what not so they can raise money to pay a fee of up to 100,000 baht to the internet introduction service. They hope their young daughter can find a rich falang who will take care of her and help them out, give them money, buy a house, car, etc. Then often after being married for a short time the girl will divorce or leave the falang. In other words a huge scam. Again this is according to her not me, but as with everything, just be careful. There is also the story of the occassional untimely death of their beloved falang, although rare.

[JayBee]

Originally Posted by Denver;

Stop making yourself seem old at 38.................It hasn't even started yet!

I agree 100% with that. You may not know it, but you're still just a lad, now coming into the prime of your life.

Still, if you don't want to spend the better part of your life bouncin' from one ST to the next, I mean if you'd like the experience of having a family with little nippers of your own, then there is no time like the present to start moving in that direction. Look at a guy like Dodger, with two fine sons grown(not to mention the newbie). Speaking from experience, it is a great feeling to have raised a couple of kids, see them turn out to be fine young folks, standing on their own two feet(more or less). The relationships you have with your kids are something that money can never buy, and something that is more priceless than anything in the world.

So if that is what you want in life, then go for it. You're certainly old enough, and it will be easier if you start now, than to wait for later.

Just one man's humble opinion. Wish you the best of luck in your search. I can tell you, for sure that there are a lot of great TGs out there, as I go to a Thai temple(wat) every week here in the US, so I see a whole different side of LOS there, because 99.9% of the girls I meet there are good girls. They are every bit as lively and fun as BGs, too, if not more so. Not putting down BGs, either, as there are certainly some good ones, but as you say, it's a mixed bag, in the bars.

But I really don't know where is the best place to find the one who will make you the best mate. Good luck in your search, and be sure to keep us posted as to how it goes for you!

[LivinLOS]

Originally Posted by Denver

[color="Green"]
I am not knocking marriage but I am going to have to say, internet brides is not the way I personally would go about it. Then again, I'm not you. Likewise, some BG's are 'keepers' and not all necessarily ruined by the 'scene' IMHO.

Here I agree with you 100%.. Obviously you need to be aware of the hardened ones.. But then I have always had a kind of affection for 'diamond tooth lils' anyway.

If you got the opportunity to take some time out from work and home and come over to Thailand for 3-6 months and see how things panned out in finding that 'certain' girl for yourself.

Exactly how I would go about things if I felt the time was right..

[sledge038]

thanks for the idea JayBee....
ill look for a wat here in perth

[Kjell]

god luck kathleenbilly,I am now in same situation and I have also make my bar girls thing.Then I found a site called Thailovelinks and from beginning it was just for fun and for something to do on lonely evening's. I chat with many girls but one sunny day I talk to a amazing women . So now i soon back to BKK (Oct 23)for my first meetings with her. I moving to LOS end of next year and i would like to meet a descent girl for my future. BTW I have start another tread about this (love on Internet)

[Mac]

I am approached a great deal by Thai families I do not know wanting me to find a falang husband for their daughter. Large sums of baht are usually involved - 1 to 2 million on average. The deal is that the baht is paid at the wedding, after they have received the sin sot of course. The most disturbing was the mother of a girl who was just 14.

Nevertheless some of the girls are University educated "good girls" who are simply wanting a new life out of Thailand.

What really worries me is that there is not even the most minute nod towards what we would call "love" in this arrangement. If he is falang, has money, he will do.

In all cases I have gently but firmly refused to help except in the most general way as it seems akin to human trafficking to me and of course I don't know anyone suitable really. Helping another falang lose his shirt is not my bag really. But that is my western prejudice.

Based on my experience on the supply side, please take care!!

Mac

[Kjell]

I have watch her in the shop and meet hers employee's so in this case I am pretty sure everything is true about her. I seen her house and her car parking outside on web cam. But is somethings untrue about her I will notice that when we meet

[bayleaf]

Originally Posted by kathleenbilly

Anyway since i started here i will finish here i have gone with a thai introduction service in Bangkok to meet a genuine Thai women who like myself wants to make a real go of it, never worked in a bar and someone i can take home to my mother, i have signed up and paid my money and will be in Bangkok this December to see it through and hopefully meet my future wife i sitting here having a few beers talking to you guys because no-else knows what i'm doing so any response or opinions would be appreiciated.

Going to Bangkok to 'hopefully meet your future wife' I would see it as just a field trip and not make any quick decision, however you might get pressure to choose a 'mail order bride' by the person running the agency and the lady and to get married sooner than might be prudent.

Saw a TV programme some years back in UK. Louis Theroux made a documentary about Thai mail order brides. Maybe it was one sided and in his style a piss take but it would make you think twice about finding a wife in the way you have chosen. I have tried to locate this programme but without success. LT called the guy running the agency 'dream weaver' and he's used it in his advertising ever since; I think he advertises on Stickman's site. When you see some of the pics of nubile young Thai women marrying old crocs you know she ain't marrying for love.

Good luck with it but take your time and don't let anyone push you into making a quick choice or decision.

[Critical Mass]

Originally Posted by kathleenbilly

But i want to settle down i had my time i'm 38 i met so many bar girls but have learned over the years that these girls ruined due to the constant bar scene as per a pervious post are not something you want to keep.

Hi KB.

If you're heart is set on having children then marriage is the way.

Seriously though, marriage in our day and age is a very risky business.

More than 60% of marriages end in divorce, and I suspect out of the ones that stay together, half of those would also break up if it wasn't for the children or lack of resources.

If you've accumulated any level of assets or have a high income, then you're also placing at least 50% of this at risk.

I suspect the main problem with Thai Bridal Agencies is that the brides will have a list of priorities, with financial security, for themselves and their family, most probably being their top priority.

If this is the case, once they've achieved security (citizenship, marriage, children), then the other factors will kick in and you can find yourself in trouble.

In life, no one can ever love us as much as ourselves, except for your mom.

My attitude in life is that you never own a partner, but are privileged to be able to share your lives.

Unless children are involved marriage doesn't change the depth of your love or commitment with someone.

Marriage is a legal thing, which ends up becoming ones undoing.

Here's an interesting link with experience of others.

NoMarriage.com - honest marriage and relationship advice for men.

I'm glad I'm at an age where I no longer entertain the thought of marriage.

Good luck KB.

[kathleenbilly]

I will of course treat this with common sense and view it at all times fully with my feet on the ground. It just feels right for me at my stage of life i have never been married and would love to have another child.

I've read and researched into it for a while but only after speaking directly and watching a full length video of a person interviewed by the respected Stickman explaining the way it works made me go for it.

Just a couple of points there will be a dowry but its not much, also i would be having a Buddhist wedding which i understand would not be legally binding in the UK.

I only hope to find a girl who like myself does not believe everything is a given but something that needs to be worked at, I’m sure i can find her, i don't feel i have anything to lose, if it all works out then I’ve filled a missing part in my life. I will keep you guys updated and I with an open mind always welcome opinions or advice offered.


Regards,

KB

[LivinLOS]

Originally Posted by kathleenbilly

Just a couple of points there will be a dowry but its not much, also i would be having a Buddhist wedding which i understand would not be legally binding in the UK.

While I dont dispute there may not be much sin sot paid if things are really going ok.. But just becuase its not legally binding has no bearing at all on the sin sot..

Also you will have a much tougher time getting her to UK without getting the marriage / fiance route.. You pretty much have to make it legally binding..

[Denver]

Originally Posted by Nuntanabkk

On Internet is hardly to know who is a BG or not, some BGs are in a student uniform.

The 'Lurker' showed me the 'Student' picture she had taken of herself for her dating site entry. She is in uniform and has pulled her hair back and taken the makeup off. It hasn't stopped her working in the bar and then up at 10 am (If no customer) for a couple of hours in the internet cafe.

Just saying what I've seen!

[eric-the-viking]

Have to agree with what Mac said earlier .
In the wifes village/town we have been approached by neighbours and some of her extended family for introductions to western males.But the wife good as gold tells them that my friends are all married or in long term relationships.
we have been approached to be sponsors of students wanting the student visa.
we have always politey said no but i know her own nephew and niece are approaching that age and me thinks it will be a lot harder to refuse her own family.time will tell.

[dennisinkamala]

I thinki you have some excellent advice here from BM's who are established in the area and know what they are talking about.

[dennisinkamala]

You have some excellent advice here from many BM's who are established in the area and know exacly what the score is.

My own advice would be, as many have said, take a long vacation/wife search here and do not rule out any girl because she may not 'live up' to standards in your own country. Many BG's (in my limited experience) are ceretainly not to be ruled out as 'wife material.'

Leave any prejudices at home, go to the LOS and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Lucky man to have the opportunity!

[kathleenbilly]

Originally Posted by LivinLOS

While I dont dispute there may not be much sin sot paid if things are really going ok.. But just becuase its not legally binding has no bearing at all on the sin sot..

Also you will have a much tougher time getting her to UK without getting the marriage / fiance route.. You pretty much have to make it legally binding..

The main reason i've gone with the agency to start with is they don't take any girl who has worked in a bar or had any connection to negative bar work.

Also they have done hundreds of visa applications and know very well the process needed to ensure it is sucessful again one of the reasons i've gone with them.

Sure i can't have totally control over what may happen all the time but that's life and that's what makes me get up in the mornings.

All I'm trying to do is give myself the best chance of finding a girl with good character and mind set who would rather chop her left arm off before she would ever sell her body. No dis-respect meant or intented to BG's but i'm sure you understand my point.

For example on my last trip i met such girls, ever the slut i offered loads of money but they turned me down, both came back to my room to talk for a while and then left wow i thought these girls were great this started my change in attitude.

Also this is a great story from the UK i'm in the bar only the other day with my mate having a few beers, speaking with the girl behind the bar about 23 years old and not bad looking. My friend tells her he's going on holiday soon and would like to take her, her eyes lit up and she showed real interest and started flirting with him big time. Great i said to him she really like's you.....

The next day I'm in the bar on my own and i see this girl and i say to her, Kerry, honestly my friend who spoke to you yesterday will take you on holiday, he is really serious about it, yes she said so am i, Its a free holiday.............''

On this basis i will happily take my chances with a Thai women.......''