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#1
07-06-2004, 04:01
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Excuses Needed!
OK, I need your help.Like a lot of other members,I'm desperate to get back to LOS during the Christmas period.My problem is I don't want to take the "viper" with me. I need a good excuse to get away on my own, which she will go for.
I booked a solo break to Dubai a couple of years ago and when I eventually told her I was going alone I was not popular.I also "forgot"to mention I would be away 2weeks when she thought it would be for 1week.I really had to be a good boy for a while to appease her, and eventually it was OK, but I can't book this one before telling her.  Can anyone come up with a feasable excuse to get away for 14days on my own? DM ,I know you can think of something!
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Granddad Not screaming in fear like his passengers 
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#2
07-06-2004, 06:38
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Dawsey
As much as I want to see you out here during Chirstmas I think your goose is cooked - Especially since you brought the ball and chain with to the MTB where she must have definitively got the idea of what goes on in Patong... my advice is to tell her straight what you want to do - Otherwise its just not worth it... Once the lies start flowing there will be no end until in tears and all the while your wife will know the truth anyway... Good luck mate
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Be Like Water
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#3
07-06-2004, 06:40
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Ideas
Hi Dawsey,
Well, I bet your not the first man who wants to escape the clutches of the nearest and dearest to go and taste a slice of Thai Pie. The first idea, is to find out what SHE really wants more than anything. She might always have wanted to go on a cruise, or a ride on the Orient Express. Find out what it is, then tell her you hate that, but as a xmas present you will pay for her and a friend/mother to accompany her. You tell her you are going on a golf holiday or some shit like that. BUY the ticket for the golf trip, but then get them changed closer to Xmas. Once she sees the proof that you have got tickets for a golf trip, it will ease her mind (unless she really is a viper and she will check at the last minute!). Personally, I dont like this type of lie as you inevitably always get caught out. If you do pull something like this off, then remember to stanley knife the pages of your passport out with the Thai Stamps on. You wont like this next one, but I reckon you have more chance than any other scheme. Sit her down, tell her you have worked hard all your life and raised a couple of lovely kids, but you feel time is running out and you want some excitement in your life again. Tell her you love her (you have been to thailand, you should be good at lies now  ) but you want to go to Thailand at xmas and fulfil some sexual fantasies that you have had for a long time. Tell her she either comes with you and joins in with 3 in a bed, naked massages, ladyboy romps etc or you will go on your own and she will have to just hope Santa brings her a vibrator for Xmas.Obviously you run the risk of losing everything with this option, but you have now tasted the forbidden fruit. If you never get to go to Thailand again it will eat away at you for the rest of your life. You will begin to despise her and living together will be hell anyway. You may even begin to hatch a plan to hit her over the head with a shovel, then bury her under the patio  Sorry, am I getting a bit carried away here The only other option I can think of at the moment (dont worry, I WILL think of more!) is over the coming months, just start to look more and more depressed. Start wandering around aimlessly, telling her you arent happy. Go and stay at a friends for a couple of days. Do this on a regular basis, and when you disappear for a couple of weeks over the xmas period, it wont be as much as a shock for her. Obviously you must cover yourself in Sun Block from head to toe, and remember to leave the 'Amazing Thailand' hat at the airport. Its a tough one. Honesty might be the hardest one, but I would pluck up the courage to tell her you want to blow all your hard earned on prostitutes. She will get over it.
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Dirty Mike You can beat an egg, but you cant beat a wank.
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#4
07-06-2004, 07:06
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I suggest catching a flight to Singapore maybe a job interview or catching up with an old mate, old mate dies in Singapore if you say wedding she might want to come. Then catch a flight into Phuket from Singapore cash only of course.
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#5
07-06-2004, 10:22
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Remember, You're a Board Member
[quote=Bafana]my advice is to tell her straight what you want to do - Otherwise its just not worth it.../QUOTE]
WARNING!! WARNING!! While I recommend honesty as the best policy in dealing with every other person in the world(especially BGs), I believe that DISHONESTY is the best policy when dealing with a farang wife on the subject of other women(unless she is a bit kinky and goes in for 3somes and the like). Unless you've got a wife as smart as TINTIN(read his post under Life-changing Experiences), and unfortunately she's a rare bird, then I don't recommend the honest approach. My ex would have freaked out big time if I ever tried that with her. I would have never heard the end of the crying and recriminations. She would have pulled the "guilt-trip" strategy on me. She was good at that and would have made my life a living hell. My only option was to part ways w/ her, which was an was extremely expensive solution. Here is what I recommend. Start talking about what a great time you had WITH HER in LOS last vacation. The friendly people, the beaches, the food, even the elephants, for God's sake, everything you can think of. Throw in a bit of the depressed routine, as recommended by MikeGB, as well. So now you're depressed, but somehow the depression seems to lift whenever you think of those carefree days in LOS. Then start pushing the idea of another vacation to LOS. If she's half as enlightened as TINTIN's wife, she'll get the idea and tell you to go without her. And, you haven't risked the disaster and misery of the honest approach. She probably isn't that enlightened,and maybe she would rather go to Italy or some such place(if only Italian girls were like TGs, ahhhh, I can dream), so then you push for separate vacations. "The time apart would do wonders for our relationship, dear. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, etc." IF you have the nerve, you could even try, "Our relationship is growing stale, and I'm afraid we might be headed for divorce, perhaps a brief separation is needed to think things out and assess priorities." All women think that if you separate, you will not be able to survive without them, and before long will be crawling back to them. If that's too drastic, try the first approach and if she agrees to go with you to LOS again, then take up golfing or going to the shooting range or some such activity that she really doesn't care for, and throw in an hour for a soapy at Christin's or a STBG along the way. Tell her you went 18, and go 9 holes on the course and a few more "holes" on the way "glap baan." The last option is not optimal, but if all the suggestions of the Board members are fruitless, it is a lot better than the vacation destination your wife will pick to drag you along to. How would you like to end up on the beach is Ibiza, watching awesome little hotties running around in their thongs with their bare ass cheeks almost in your face, while your wife says, "Could you put a little more of that lotion on my back, dear?" You're drooling, but you know you are never going to get any closer to those beach bunnies than you already are at that monent. You could almost reach out and touch them. But if you did, the wifey wouldn't be the only one screaming at you. Get the picture!! Any trip to LOS is better than no trip to LOS. Get it together, man!! Remember, you're a Board Member!! 
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LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown. 
Last edited by JayBee : 07-06-2004 at 11:16. Reason: sp
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#7
07-06-2004, 11:06
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One man's opinion.
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Duly noted. I have the utmost respect for Bafana's opinions (and yours as well), since he certainly has a world of experience and a keen mind. What I say is just one man's opinion. Ultimately, Dawsey knows his wife best and will use his own good judgement to sort out the advice. Let's just hope for his sake that he makes it back to find his seat on the Board at MTB.
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LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown.
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#9
07-06-2004, 23:36
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sorry guys but the moment you lie your heading for disator,heart break and may be a ruined marriage.
at the worst suggest another trip to los bring her with you have a wild time get her pi ssed you never know what might happen, you stay sober ish take her back to the hotel while she settles down tell her your still wide awak fancy one more night cap have a quick run back down to the bar ,by the time your down the stairs she will be spark out leaving you to a little fun. still a dangerous game and not one i would recomenend 
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Coffee for one sir ? The joys of sponsorship 
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#10
07-06-2004, 23:57
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Well...
For my next trip I still go alone!!!!
But I promised her that we will have the loviest time together in February!!!! Romantic nice hotel etc  I am 44 and the clock is ticking!!! My only concern is to not to fall in love again!!! Mrs Tintin : Well my love, if a man is good to you, charming a fantastic father and after 17 years still declaring his love to you, give the guy a break!!! Maybe he will even NOT go to BG's because he will miss you so much! And....if he want a BG, it is because no strings are attached! He doesn't want another woman, just a little fantasy!!! Just don't forget to pack the poor guys condoms, they are just big children, they forget everything!!! ;
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#12
08-06-2004, 00:51
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More cents...
I thought about this stuff many times, its all about balance. Asking yourself what matters the most to you and what can you live without...Damn I want everything too!!
For f**ks sake man if you figure this one out please tell us how you made the choice. One thing I do know if you lie about going you will get caught, it will show up some how some way which will lead to more crap than you want. So my thought is if you want to go then have a sit down, don't ask just explain this is something you have to do...I have to do it for me, look if she loves ya that much she will be there when you get back. If ya go this route don't even f**k about when it comes to giving a explaination...its simple..."its not about you dear its about me" details will do nothing but cause you to have to explain more, but obviously only you know if she is likely to tell you to stuff it and toss in the towel over it, but I wouldn't get into that lieing crap of a game....We are men and being a man comes with its own troubles...we enjoy our lbfm and that's that, its not personal its just sex!! You do have to be able to handle it if she comes back with the same...who knows maybe she's always wanted to run off somewhere warm and have sex with strangers....but I tend to doupt that's the case. Well that's my two cents worth...yes I know it sounds better to come up with some elaborate plan and being a snicky bastard can sometimes add to the excitement of things, but stop and think how you would feel if you were lied to....is it worth it?  Heywood
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#13
08-06-2004, 01:10
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Well my wife is happy!
And want others to be! She doesn't NEED another man, she doesn't need to have sex with strangers!
But she understands I do!!! As long as she has her part of the game twice, 3 times a week she is happy! What do you want more! life is great, goes fast so enjoy!!!
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#14
08-06-2004, 01:18
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OK Guys,I never expected so many suggestions to my "problem"
If I am totally honest,I cannot lie to her.Its either "I want to go to Thailand,but you can't go with me as your work place won't give you the time off at Xmas" This is true.But I know,as Mike says,she has seen Mai Thai and knows how the game is played. Also I have a consience. I know how I would feel if the roles were reversed. At the end of the day,ETV and Bafana are right. The lies will find me out and then the sh.t would hit the fan.  I'm not risking a marriage,my kids,my house and everything I've worked for, just to hump BGs for 2 weeks.Ive been living a dream since I returned from LOS, and short of taking her back with me, and filling her with bacardi and valium, and as someone suggested get out while she's passed out, its not going to happen. One thing is for sure I KNOW I will be back to LOS,if not at Xmas then next Songkran.But most likely with the viper  Thanks for all your help.If anything changes I'll let you know
__________________
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Granddad Not screaming in fear like his passengers
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#15
08-06-2004, 01:24
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I must admit, I completely agree with Heywood.
Telling lies will only end in bigger trouble. Before I went to Thailand for the first time, I had already split with my girlfriend of 5 years. We still got on OK. When I came back and she asked if I had been with anyone, when I told her I had been fcuking blokes with tits I thought she would have thrown me out the house. What happened? We ended up in bed. I think lies hurt them more than the truth, but only you know how 'her indoors' will react. I think the only options available to you are - 1) Tell her the truth about how you feel 2.) Forget about shagging nubile, velvet skinned beautied in Thailand 3.) Hit her with a shovel You could actually choose options 1 AND 3 !! Choose wisely, as the path to enlightenment and eternal happiness is fraught with danger. If you dont choose wisely, you could end up ironing your own shirts, and cooking beans on toast for one, in an empty house. Good luck DM
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Dirty Mike You can beat an egg, but you cant beat a wank.
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#16
08-06-2004, 01:36
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Hi Dawsey
One thing which has not yet been discussed is the possiblity that if she lets you , she may want some in return to balance things out , are you happy to have an open relationship with your wife ??
A relationship which involves you going to thailand and banging bg's while she plays around at home ? are you happy at the thought of another man or men banging you wife ? can you handle this without jealousy , I'm not saying its gonna happen but you may need to consider this as she may think she needs some spice in her life too , after all why should you have your cake and eat it ? ps..you always seem like a nice and decent bloke Dawsey so just be careful you dont screw your life up , good luck with it 
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#17
08-06-2004, 02:11
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Thats really true. I had such problems and it`s really not worth. Say what you want to do and then you see how your wife reacts. It is not worth only because having fun for 2 weeks..... (or is it?, ;-)) Hugo
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#18
08-06-2004, 02:37
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possible solution
Hi Dawsey, Your problem is your wife has seen how the single guys play the game and she will suspect that is your motive for going
. A solution is take her on holiday with you and arrange a boys nite out with other board members who you have introduced to your wife and whome she trusts. Then just fill your boots on your nite out I think you are right in not going on holiday on your own, she will suss you out, even if you say you are going to Scotland for a week you still have the imigration stamp in your passport to worry about, although I know 1 guy who cut the page out of his passport Best of luck Dave
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#19
08-06-2004, 02:48
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Here lies the problem Dave. Dawseys wife has already been intoduced to quite a few board members including myself. Would your wife be happy to let you go out with characters called 'Dirty Mike' and 'Eric the Viking'? Thoughts of raping and pillaging come to mind But it was a good idea
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Dirty Mike You can beat an egg, but you cant beat a wank.
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#20
08-06-2004, 02:52
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I too thought it the best idea so far.... Until I remembered she knows Mikes penchant for Ladyboys a...s 
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Granddad Not screaming in fear like his passengers
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#21
08-06-2004, 03:03
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Mike, my wife would like you and all the other board members, she has the same thing in common as all of you (well not quite you Mike
) she likes bar girls......... that could be your answer Dawsey, somehow turn her into a bisexual  Dave
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