you know you are becoming .thai. when

[eab123]

YOU KNOW YOU ARE BECOMING 'THAI' WHEN:

1. You can go for weeks without toilet paper.
2. It's perfectly acceptable to drive down the wrong side of the street
3. You decline to wear a motorbike helmet because it'll mess up your hair.
4. Half your wardrobe is the colour yellow.
5. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.
6. Hearing "Mai Mii" or "Mai Dai" for the 300th time in a day and doesn't bother you.
7. You no longer wonder how a civil servant who earns 400 USD per month drives a Mercedes.
8. Curry is perfectly acceptable breakfast food as long as it has an egg on top.
9. Au Bon Pain is a chic hang out serving good food.
10. You can rely on the fact that any given night of the week, somewhere there is a model getting free drinks.
11. You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
12. You have a pinky fingernail an inch long
13. It's exciting to see if you can get in the elevator before anyone can get off.
14. You'd rather SMS someone than actually meet and talk
15. You are careful to cover your mouth when picking your teeth, but openly pick your nose at the dinner table.
16. You keep a roll of toilet paper on your dinner table, but not in the bathroom.
17. A t-bone steak with rice sounds just fine.
18. "Love You Long Time" is not a satirical quote from Full Metal Jacket, but an actual saying.
19. You know when people say they're "going to bed" that they'll actually be partying until 2AM in a cylindrical nightclub resembling a spaceship.
20. "Sexpats," "Pirates," "Yellow Fever" and "Rice Queens" are all in your vocabulary.
21. You can shame a group of *****s in Patpong with one angry stare
22. You regard My Name Lon - You Like Me? and Colonel Ken's Tales of Misadventure in Asia as classics in the category "Asian Literature," shamelessly promoted at airports everywhere.
23. It's just part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
24. When shopping at the supermarket, a farang stares you down when he catches you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what farangs eat.
25. You regularly fumble for five minutes to find a 10 baht coin despite 10 people waiting in line behind you
26. You realize half of your personality is complaining.
27. You sit sidesaddle on motorbikes (if you're a girl of course).
28. You stand still on escalators, without even thinking of walking.
29. You put a plastic bag on your head when it starts raining.
30. You don't think twice before picking your nose in public.
31. You sleep with just a fan at night because air conditioning is too cold.
32. You wear a jacket in " winter " months of December and January even though it is 30 degrees outside.
33. You hate the tought of all those pistols at Songkran.
34. You want to punch someone who touches your head.
35. You go back home and you take your shoes off before you go in your friend's house.
36. You eat pizza with ketchup on it.
37. You complain to the waiter that your food does not have enough chili peppers or fermented fish sauce in it.
38. You don't even notice the stray dogs that live under the table in the restaurant.
39. You don't mind sharing the one water cup at the water cooler with the 300 other employees at your workplace.
40. You spend most of your time at work eating, thinking about your next meal or discussing your last meal with your colleagues.
41. You've developed the ability to sleep anytime, anywhere, regardless of the noise, the situation, or your body position.
42. You think the first thing you are supposed to do after being in a car accident is to run away.
43. You are uncomfortable with public displays of affection but don't notice the massage parlors everywhere.
44. You refer to katoeys (transvestites) as She.
45. When visiting a zoo you start wondering what the different animal would taste like.
46. You come across a terrible crime / accident scene and you pose for a photo with the corpse.
47. You use your mobile phone in inapropriate public places (e.g. movie theatres, elevators, sitting in the bathroom) and share your conversation with everyone.
48. You publicly admit to liking durian.
49. You don't think there is any such thing as too gaudy a piece of jewelry..
50. You update the front page of a Thai forum every two minutes to see if anyone has replied to your latest wisecrack.

[LivinLOS]

51. When the foot prints on the toilet seat are your own.
52. You think your ear is a perfectly acceptable place for a 5 baht coin.

[dogblower]

This is too scary ...

I'm not turning Thai!
I'm not turning Thai!
I'm not turning Thai!
I'm not turning Thai!
I'm not turning Thai!
etc etc, ad nauseum

[Minder]

Originally Posted by LivinLOS

51. When the foot prints on the toilet seat are your own.
52. You think your ear is a perfectly acceptable place for a 5 baht coin.

(Note: Some of these are mine, some are from a thread I started on another forum a few years ago, have to give credit where it is due since some of the authors are now on this forum also...Enjoy)

53. when you fall asleep in the corner, and no one robs you cause they know you're broke
54. When someone says "farang" and you start looking around for the foreigner....
55. When you don't recognise your own name without "Khun" at the start of it....
56. When you "window shop" the food vendors carts...
57. Your TGF sends you up country when her best customer is in town.
58. You can't understand why the farang give you a funny look as you peel a bug & casually eat it while having a beer
59. When stories within stories & lies within lies & half truths don't matter anymore because you no longer 'tink too mutt' 'bout anything but the here & now.
60. you are asked to explain SMS messages they received
61. their thai boyfriends greet you as an old friend
62. you are given 3 baht change

__________________
"Heaven holds a sense of wonder...and I wanted to believe..."

[Dupree00]

63. If you get mad at your dog you barbecue it.

[les1999]

jesus how true is all this............5555555555

I think 63. should be - speaking and writing very bad Thai - 'specially in this forum.......55555555555

[MrDK]

Originally Posted by les1999

I think 63. should be - speaking and writing very bad Thai...

I finally qualify ... come to think of it I do not speak but a few words in Thai ..... is that bad enough?

[dogblower]

Like the additions Minder - spot on.

[ub2yoo]

57. Your TGF sends you up country when her best customer is in town.

That one is hillarious, just imagine 5555

[landofsmiles]

64. People want to pay you for sex.
65. You don't mind drinking out of a plastic bag.
66. You can eat Isaan food without having to drink 10 pints of water afterwards.
67. You know that the satang coins are worthless.
68. You look forward to Songkran and getting soaked everyday.
69. You know that 555 means hahaha.
70. You don't care that something you need doing today will probably not be done by tomorrow or the next day.

[sierradelta]

71. You can fix a Honda 110cc motorbike with a 12" Shifter, a 4lb Hammer, a coat hanger and a roll of tape...

72. You can ride said motorbike in peak hour traffic at 80kph whilst taking a phone call on one mobile and sending an sms on another

73. You think 4pm in the afternoon is a respectable time to be getting up out of bed (lib like a wampire)

[Karon Steve]

74. You can differentiate Thai faces but farangs all look the same.
75. You put ice in your beer.
76. When a Honda Wave is your family transport.
77. You charge the farang for translating her pigeon English/bar speak.
78. You charge the BG for composing an SMS or e-mail.
79. You take "key neow" (tight wad) as a compliment.
80. You take "jai dee" (good heart) as a sign you have been turned over.
81. You look forward to taking the family to Tesco Lotus on a Sunday.
82. You can't get shoes of your size with a width fitting big enough.
83. You can't understand why a shaven head and tatoos are a fashion

[landofsmiles]

84. You know and can say the real name for Bangkok given by the founder King Rama 1, which is the longest place name in the world with 163 letters>>>

Krungthepmahanakornamornratanakosinmahintarayuttha yamahadilokphop
nopparatrajathaniburiromudomrajaniwesmahasatharn
amornphimarnavatarnsathitsakkattiyavisanukamprasit

85.You don't mind knowing that each household has an average of 5.2 cockroaches.

86.You don't find dark-skinned Isaan women attractive.

87.You're not phased seeing a motorbike with 5 people on it and a dog in the basket.

[sundancekid]

88. When you start naming the geckos in your home.

89. When you think twice about killing a bee because it might give you bad karma (and then refuse to acknowledge the irony of the situation when it stings you on the nose a few seconds later).

90. When you keep the side mirror on your motorbike pointed upwards, as it makes it easier to adjust the hairdo when the wind keeps messing it up.

91. When you find it perfectly logical that --- when driving a motorbike --- you have to put a helmet on, whilst your young daughter in front and your 87 year-old grandmother riding pillion do not.

92. When you start treating traffic lights as mere indications rather than rules.

[Mai Chob]

93. You make no comment when the waiter delivers the Beer Chang to your 10 year old daughter and gives you the Sprite
94. You go out with the boys to a Go Go but decide to leave to eat as the featured Leso show starts
95. You fail to gag when Tilak pushes some of her Som Tum into your mouth
96. You can convey emotions that are the opposite of happy with a Smile..
97. You dont feel at all uncomfortable about going out and aquiring food from a pushcart and bringing it back into the restaurant and sharing it around
98. You have no doubt whatsoever that you will be able to get pissed on Kings Birthday
99. You have no qualms about changing the expirey date on your International Driving License from 2003 to 2008 and when it expires just driving without it.
100. You barely notice people making obscene hacking noises in your bathroom...

[Captain]

I posted this years ago... and then it were not my own findings, but a tribute to Trink.