I Stop Work Now Because I Love You

[Masterwoodsman]

Originally Posted by florry

no need for now... she's cute, petite, smart, cheeky, and like no one else I've met before.... A bit scary really, And in view of short time we've known each other.. doubly scary.

.........ok... maybe "NOT" WolfPhantoms missus.....

[florry]

Originally Posted by Jack23

Florry you are aware that you should have 6+ months history before applying for a tourist visa to oz.....

If you want to be sure she's not working the bar, support her and ask her to go live in her village with her family.

I was in touch with consulate agency today.. seemed to be no real firm prerequisites. they need to be fairly certain thais will return when they should, and that they have their trip is properly funded for its duration.
They normally would like to see three months of a relationship.

I'm not sure what to say... but it looks like I'll be learning fast

[Jack23]

Yeah ok, good luck with it.

[hagler]

Originally Posted by Nicke

Leave her alone, dont bother to check her up, bring her to Australia for a holiday and then you can know eachother and a possible future.

Chances are high you will be disappointed otherwise, and no good outcome from it. I have seen many similar stories but with happy endings when they finally stay together, got married, kids etc.

Wiser words have never been said.

The first time she comes to Australia she will get 3 months MAX from immigration. You will know for sure what she is like by then.

BG's on the whole dont become BG's because they decide it is a career path that they want to go down when they are a small child. Circumstances that are less than savory usually sees them end up in the bars and it is usually the enviroment of the bars that turns them into evil coniving manipulating little monsters. ( plus the fact that they are forced to endure the BS and lies of the flotsum and jetsum of the male population that are otherwise known as mongerers, who wouldnt get jaded after that kind of social conditioning )

A real pro BG who is just "sucking the sponsers" is not gonna agree to go to a foreign country without some form of payment, both upfront and during her stay. Afterall she can stay in the bar and earn at least 25 000 baht a month and hang out with all her friends. So her enthusiasm to come to your home country could be construed as a positive thing. Obviously if she is a bar veteran at the end of her use by date or if it is coming up to the quiet season then it may be a different story.

Go for it mate, what have you REALLY got to lose? At worst a "on Tap" LBFM for a month or 2 at home and then the big heave ho onto the plane to never be seen again at the end and at best the beginning of the rest of a beautiful life together. Better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

[dizbuster]

Originally Posted by hagler

Wiser words have never been said.

The first time she comes to Australia she will get 3 months MAX from immigration. You will know for sure what she is like by then.

BG's on the whole dont become BG's because they decide it is a career path that they want to go down when they are a small child. Circumstances that are less than savory usually sees them end up in the bars and it is usually the enviroment of the bars that turns them into evil coniving manipulating little monsters. ( plus the fact that they are forced to endure the BS and lies of the flotsum and jetsum of the male population that are otherwise known as mongerers, who wouldnt get jaded after that kind of social conditioning )

A real pro BG who is just "sucking the sponsers" is not gonna agree to go to a foreign country without some form of payment, both upfront and during her stay. Afterall she can stay in the bar and earn at least 25 000 baht a month and hang out with all her friends. So her enthusiasm to come to your home country could be construed as a positive thing. Obviously if she is a bar veteran at the end of her use by date or if it is coming up to the quiet season then it may be a different story.

Go for it mate, what have you REALLY got to lose? At worst a "on Tap" LBFM for a month or 2 at home and then the big heave ho onto the plane to never be seen again at the end and at best the beginning of the rest of a beautiful life together. Better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

Good post

Florry - get your girl out to Oz and don't worry about what's happening just now. Hopefully you'll both have a great time and you can get a good idea of what she's like away from Patong.

[georgelondon]

Originally Posted by Masterwoodsman

I'd fcuking p1ss myself laughing if it turns out to be WolfPhantoms missus !!!

you are an evil man! 555555!

being serious for a moment i'd follow nickes advice. he lives and owns a bar in patong..he's seen this scenario many times.

good luck.

[Critical Mass]

Originally Posted by florry

no need for now... she's cute, petite, smart, cheeky, and like no one else I've met before.... A bit scary really, And in view of short time we've known each other.. doubly scary.

Nicke is right.

You either love her or you just think you do.

If you love her you should be able to forgive her.

If she's still working it's probably because she needs to eat and maybe support her family.

Consider sending her a monthly allowance to take the pressure off her until you can ship her out.

Involve her and be open about things including her financial position.

You only live once (as florry).

Only the risk takers succeed in life, even though some get burnt.

Go for it.

[visa2003]

Originally Posted by hagler

Wiser words have never been said.

The first time she comes to Australia she will get 3 months MAX from immigration. You will know for sure what she is like by then.

BG's on the whole dont become BG's because they decide it is a career path that they want to go down when they are a small child. Circumstances that are less than savory usually sees them end up in the bars and it is usually the enviroment of the bars that turns them into evil coniving manipulating little monsters. ( plus the fact that they are forced to endure the BS and lies of the flotsum and jetsum of the male population that are otherwise known as mongerers, who wouldnt get jaded after that kind of social conditioning )

A real pro BG who is just "sucking the sponsers" is not gonna agree to go to a foreign country without some form of payment, both upfront and during her stay. Afterall she can stay in the bar and earn at least 25 000 baht a month and hang out with all her friends. So her enthusiasm to come to your home country could be construed as a positive thing. Obviously if she is a bar veteran at the end of her use by date or if it is coming up to the quiet season then it may be a different story.

Go for it mate, what have you REALLY got to lose? At worst a "on Tap" LBFM for a month or 2 at home and then the big heave ho onto the plane to never be seen again at the end and at best the beginning of the rest of a beautiful life together. Better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.

I resemble that remark!!!!!


On a more serious note, I have an Ex-mate who was in the same sort of position as the OP, and he ended up going back to LOS and marrying her (registered in LOS but not OZ!!) after knowing her for 10 days!!!
This was to be able to get her a 3 month Tourist visa to OZ, which still took them 6 months to get!!
Not trying to be a doomsayer, but don't get your hopes too high for a quick visa....... Aussie immigration can be tough!!!

[marc26]

if you only met her once, why do you worry what she is up to?
take time to get to know her and leave your insecurities behind

[ChoakMyDee]

Originally Posted by florry

Any suggestions from experienced bm's about what I could do?
Cheer florry

Well I believe there are lots of good-hearted girls working in bars. They come down from up north to meet a farang who will take care of them and take them out of the dead-end low paying jobs they would have if they stayed up north. The work they do in the bar is just business...they are doing what they have to do to earn money and maybe hoping Mr. right comes along in the process. I think if you get them away from the bar before they have been there too long then you have a good chance for a good relationship but the longer they work there the bigger the chance they become evil LBFMs. The big problem is you can't always tell the good ones from the bad ones and there are many people who would say don't bother at all. After all, there are lots of Thai girls who don't hang out in bars who would love to meet a farang.

If I were you I would first of all not make promises I can't keep. I've done that before and it is a shitty way to treat someone.

The other thing is she is probably still going with customers. Don't get upset, don't investigate her, just accept it...if you can't accept it then move on.

I think it is great that you are getting her to OZ for a visit...this is what you need to do at this point...spend more time together before you both know that you want to get serious. Don't get too far ahead of yourself. You have to know if it was just a case of LOS hypnotism or not.

I personally couldn't see myself having a serious relationship with a bargirl if we were living in 2 different countries. That is only my personal opinion but there is no way I would be getting serious with a bargirl if I couldn't get her out of the bar and into my country or if I couldn't move there and live with her and get her out of the bar. We have a BM who is married to a Thai lady who still works in the bar and they live in separate countries...a less than ideal situation if you ask me.

My advice, don't get too serious. Get her to OZ and have fun and get to know each other better and take it from there. I'll bet you will have the time of your life with her in OZ as you get to see her experiencing the farang world for the first time.

Best of luck to you.

[ub2yoo]

Originally Posted by ChoakMyDee

Well I believe there are lots of good-hearted girls working in bars. They come down from up north to meet a farang who will take care of them and take them out of the dead-end low paying jobs they would have if they stayed up north. The work they do in the bar is just business...they are doing what they have to do to earn money and maybe hoping Mr. right comes along in the process. I think if you get them away from the bar before they have been there too long then you have a good chance for a good relationship but the longer they work there the bigger the chance they become evil LBFMs. The big problem is you can't always tell the good ones from the bad ones and there are many people who would say don't bother at all. After all, there are lots of Thai girls who don't hang out in bars who would love to meet a farang.

If I were you I would first of all not make promises I can't keep. I've done that before and it is a shitty way to treat someone.

The other thing is she is probably still going with customers. Don't get upset, don't investigate her, just accept it...if you can't accept it then move on.

I think it is great that you are getting her to OZ for a visit...this is what you need to do at this point...spend more time together before you both know that you want to get serious. Don't get too far ahead of yourself. You have to know if it was just a case of LOS hypnotism or not.

I personally couldn't see myself having a serious relationship with a bargirl if we were living in 2 different countries. That is only my personal opinion but there is no way I would be getting serious with a bargirl if I couldn't get her out of the bar and into my country or if I couldn't move there and live with her and get her out of the bar. We have a BM who is married to a Thai lady who still works in the bar and they live in separate countries...a less than ideal situation if you ask me.

My advice, don't get too serious. Get her to OZ and have fun and get to know each other better and take it from there. I'll bet you will have the time of your life with her in OZ as you get to see her experiencing the farang world for the first time.

Best of luck to you.

A nice story Dr. Phil, but unfortunately, your story doesn't mirror real life exactly.

What you describe is maybe how many would like to do it, and also what would make more sense.

No one wants to get into a long term relationships or hang on the phone for hours, don't want to send money, but
rather just get her over to OZ (or where ever) to see if you fit together and be happy ever after.

Unfortunately, you know that this is not possible, you can't get her over after only 1 holiday meeting or 1 month of emails.
So, you have to keep contact for a longer time if you really want to have a chance in future ... hence, the long term relationship
has already begun with all the shabang around it, from sponsorship, bar removal procedure to mistrust and god knows all the other
stuff we love to talk about so much ;-)

[ChoakMyDee]

Originally Posted by ub2yoo

A nice story Dr. Phil, but unfortunately, your story doesn't mirror real life exactly.

What you describe is maybe how many would like to do it, and also what would make more sense.

No one wants to get into a long term relationships or hang on the phone for hours, don't want to send money, but
rather just get her over to OZ (or where ever) to see if you fit together and be happy ever after.

Unfortunately, you know that this is not possible, you can't get her over after only 1 holiday meeting or 1 month of emails.
So, you have to keep contact for a longer time if you really want to have a chance in future ... hence, the long term relationship
has already begun with all the shabang around it, from sponsorship, bar removal procedure to mistrust and god knows all the other
stuff we love to talk about so much ;-)

Well my point was I simply wouldn't do it. How does that not reflect reality? I am NOT having a long distance relationship with a bar girl so that IS my reality. If you are then that's great for you...I wouldn't do it.

[ub2yoo]

Originally Posted by ChoakMyDee

Well my point was I simply wouldn't do it. How does that not reflect reality? I am NOT having a long distance relationship with a bar girl so that IS my reality. If you are then that's great for you...I wouldn't do it.

Yes, I know for you that's how it works, and that's great

But for many others who actually do want to have this relationship, I was refering to this line you said at the end:

"My advice, don't get too serious. Get her to OZ and have fun and get to know each other better and take it from there.
I'll bet you will have the time of your life with her in OZ as you get to see her experiencing the farang world for the first time."

That's not realistic. How can you just get a girl over to OZ without getting too serious beforehand? Immigration rules will put a
showstopper on this. Hence all the other crap pops up many have to go through before she finally got that ticket+visa in her hand.

[ChoakMyDee]

Originally Posted by ub2yoo

Yes, I know for you that's how it works, and that's great

But for many others who actually do want to have this relationship, I was refering to this line you said at the end:

"My advice, don't get too serious. Get her to OZ and have fun and get to know each other better and take it from there.
I'll bet you will have the time of your life with her in OZ as you get to see her experiencing the farang world for the first time."

That's not realistic. How can you just get a girl over to OZ without getting too serious beforehand? Immigration rules will put a
showstopper on this. Hence all the other crap pops up many have to go through before she finally got that ticket+visa in her hand.

Oh I see...I was thinking the OP was getting her a visa but I guess it is far more difficult than I realized. Thanks for clearing that up.

[ub2yoo]

Originally Posted by ChoakMyDee

Oh I see...I was thinking the OP was getting her a visa but I guess it is far more difficult than I realized. Thanks for clearing that up.

We'll see, he said he met her in February, now it's not even April. She's still working in the bar...visa is in progress as far as I can read.
Good luck is needed I guess, but who knows, it will be interesting to get an update from Florry.

[butterflyblonde]

I wish you well Florry but be careful.

[florry]

Thanks for advice. There is certainly a lot of knowledge and experience about these matters here.
I think the over-riding message for me is: take it easy and relax and take it a step at a time, and to take care.

I'll give you update of how things are going shortly.

Cheers florry

[sledge038]

Originally Posted by Masterwoodsman

I'd fcuking p1ss myself laughing if it turns out to be WolfPhantoms missus !!!

5555555555555555555555555555555555
but " she only dances "
farkin yeah rite

[easyrider_au]

Originally Posted by butterflyblonde

I wish you well Florry but be careful.

I wonder if James is a BM? 5555555555555

[sledge038]

just make sure you have enough money to bring her back to oz so you dont have to set up an international charity fund .
it doesnt help when your busted ar$e.

[karma]

555555 who knows. but he wouldnt of been the only one whos been on the other line of that call at some point.