Thailand and toilets

[Coolhand]

A lot of people who restrict themselves to western-style resorts, may never see the traditional thai squat toilet. Traditional Thai toilets consist of a hole in the floor and the necessary bits and pieces. A white porcelain plate generally surrounds the hole, with two slightly raised footprints. Adding to the experience, the porcelain plate frequently carries the brand name "American Standard". Zikes! I never knew americans used squatters! You stand on the footprints, pull down your pants, and squat, trying to line up the relevant holes; this alignment gets easier with experience. It also gets easier, with experience, to keep your pants out of harm's way. The first few times, it may be simplest to just take them off. At first, you'll probably also need to hold on to something with one hand to steady yourself. A barrel of water sits beside the toilet. People use this water (a ladle or bowl floats inside) and their left hand to clean themselves, then empty a few more scoops of water into the toilet until all traces of their visit disappear.
I recently went to Tokyo, and was confronted with a totally different concept - the space age toilet! This was a chunky, computerised contraption equipped with two control panels that wouldn't look out of place on the Starship Enterprise. There are buttons to raise or lower the seat and to adjust its temperature, buttons to control the amount of water and, somewhere amongst them all, a button to flush the thing. Thankfully the buttons are not labelled in japanese but the symbols are not clear - first time I used one I just started pressing buttons at random, without success, when something started whirring, and a small, silver arm appeared from under the rim, swung out into the middle of the bowl and sprayed me with pulsing jets of water. Having finally mastered the toilet in my hotel room, I felt safe to go out. At a meeting I went to the toilet in a japanese office block, this toilet was similar to the one in my hotel room, but there was a remote control to operate all the functions! I just thought you could have great fun if it also operated the toilet in the next cubicle. There was even a button to emit white noise to avoid embarrassing sounds!
I can't see this ever catching on in Thailand!

[ancientmariner]

Very interesting tale of toiletry. In Japan, I think you can find some of the most technologically advanced and entertaining toilets in the world, never mind practicality.

Mind you, I've used the toilets at the Trinity College in Cambridge during the 80's and they were squat style as well.

[beuk]

I`m verry happy that in touristic Thailand they changed the thai toilets to western toilets. The squating is a disaster for me since I totally fcuked up my knees with indoor football, squash and skiing. Another point why I like it that they changed it is cause when I have to go take a sh*t and I`m really drunk I can`t even stand up properly so squating would be a total mess.
Just my opinion.

[Tyfon]

Squat toilets were common in continental Europe until recently - I remember encountering them as a kid on caravanning trips to France/Spain with my parents. Can't say I've encountered any in hotels lately.

K.

[andy50]

i worked in the persian gulf years ago ,--our toilets were western sit on ones,
there were lots of phillipinos working there too, i got friendly with one guy mario,when he saw the toilet pan, he didnt know how to use it ,the thought of sitting on a seat that someone else had sat on previously was abhorrent to him,also wiping with paper as well,he thought the paper was for writing on!

they used a tap/faucett in the cubicle(which was installed at a later time) with a piece of hose pipe attached and a tinned can to wash thir botty
,i personally think squat toilets are more hygenic than western ones,i stayed with a thai b/g once in her village and got quite used to theirsquat bog

[Paddy]

It's said that they're much better for your health as well - it's a much more natural way to sit and shit and you, er, evacuate more. Which keeps everything nice and clean in the pipework. Actually, let's not go there - I'm just about to have dinner.

[andy50]

an indian take away paddy?

[gregor200]

I had never problems with squat toilets, it will be different maybe, when I am 80 years old. But if possible, I remove my trousers, before I make shit. It is easier too, cleaning with water, after removing trousers.

I remember going to Italy, when I was 10 years old. I the hotel, they had so called ´donnerbalken´, two crossed timbers, where you had to stand up and make your sheet, on the second floor, you look down to the attic, where all the shit was down.

By the way, do you remember, what your friends did with the bidet the first time. My friend was drunk and made a shit inside, in the morning he did a lot of cursing to get it clean.

[Mav]

Mr Crapper will be very enthused about this thread

[Mac]

Originally Posted by ancientmariner

Mind you, I've used the toilets at the Trinity College in Cambridge during the 80's and they were squat style as well.

At least you had toilets at Trinity. - Luxury. At St John's next door, we had to walk to E Staircase New Court for a communal crap. Yep, the sink seemed nearer, easier and more private. But back then Men were men. Once the girls arrived, toilets came too.
Mac

[ancientmariner]

You reckon Wordsworth frequent the toilet there 200 years ago? Maybe that was where he had his inspirations.

The Evangelist St. John my patron was:
Three Gothic courts are his, and in the first
Was my abiding-place, a nook obscure;
Right underneath, the College kitchens made
A humming sound, less tuneable than bees,
But hardly less industrious; with shrill notes
Of sharp command and scolding intermixed.
Near me hung Trinity's loquacious clock,
Who never let the quarters, night or day,
Slip by him unproclaimed, and told the hours
Twice over with a male and female voice.
Her pealing organ was my neighbour too;
And from my pillow, looking forth by light
Of moon or favouring stars, I could behold
The antechapel where the statue stood
Of Newton with his prism and silent face,
The marble index of a mind for ever
Voyaging through strange seas of Thought, alone.

[Paddy]

Who'd have thought a thread about crappers would turn into a discussion on Wordsworth?

Just to bring the conversation back down to the usual sordid level, I have a really gross story.

Last year I had to go to Saudi Arabia to see a potential client. We were after a massive contract from his company and I was there ostensibly to ask some preliminary questions, but really it was a "chemistry meeting" to see how we got on with each other. We went for dinner, which was vile, then he asked me if I fancied going for a shisha. In Saudi, as you've probably heard, there's absolutely nothing to do for fun. Bars and alcohol are banned, there are no discos, no nightlife, women have to be completely covered up when they're outdoors, otherwise they get thrown in jail or worse (seriously). Even cinema is illegal. It's a horrible place. Apart from public beheadings, which take place on a Friday lunchtime for the most piffling of crimes, the only entertainment is to go to a shisha bar (shishas are hubble bubble pipes, you use them to smoke fruit flavoured tobacco - how exciting is that!). Even the shisha bars have to be located outside the city boundary, so we had to drive for quite a while to get to this one.

On the way there, I could feel my guts rumbling and I knew I was going to be in big botty trouble. Damn that dodgy lentil soup! Finally we got to the place - a massive area that somehow reminded me of a garden centre, with thousands of blokes sitting in these buildings that were just like greenhouses, smoking shishas and watching telly.

As soon as we pulled up I had to excuse myself and leg it for the toilet. Needless to say, it was a filthy cubicle with a hole in the floor, which was slippery and swimming with water - and worse. No toilet paper, just a hose with a very weak dribble of water coming out. I ripped my keks off and squatted down, but the walls were too far apart to support myself with my hands so I had to stand up again, bend over and let fly. Oh my god, what a mess I made.

Once I was done, I got hold of the hose but the rubber was perished and the hose simply snapped off in my hands. It took me about half an hour to clean myself up by holding my hand under the dribble of water and using it little by little. And I had to move very slowly and carefully; the floor was as slippery as sheet ice and one slip would have ended in foul smelling, disgusting looking disaster! And the only way I could have possibly got away from there was in the client's car.

It was OK in the end, although he did ask where the *** I'd been, and we even won the business. But we've never been out for dinner again.

[Tyfon]

from Herald Sun (amongst other places):

Westerners Can't Squat
By Roberta Mancuso
October 27, 2004
A STUDY aimed at discovering the perfect way to pee has stumbled on a greater problem – Westerners can't squat.

A world-first study, which compared the Western loo with a seat to the developing-world squat type, delivered a surprise for researchers.

They found volunteers were falling off the toilets because they could not hold a squat position for more than 30 seconds.

"We were quite sure squatting would be far superior to the Western toilet position, however we have a problem now ... one third of the population is unable to squat," Professor Ajay Rane said.

Prof Rane, head of obstetrics and gynaecology at James Cook University, has spent years studying the perfect pee to help one million Australians – including 300,000 men – who have a weak bladder.

His study was conducted over two years using 100 women.

It compared peeing styles using the squatting position and the "perfect" position on the conventional toilet, which involved volunteers putting their feet flat on the floor and leaning forward.

Equipment called a uroflowmeter was attached to each toilet to collect data such as how fast volunteers could urinate, their maximum speed, average speed, how long it took to attain maximum speed and the volume of urine.

Patients were then scanned to determine how much urine was left in the bladder.

Prof Rane said data found there was little difference between the two toilets when it came to doing the perfect pee.

But he said the study ran into problems when it was found one-third of the women couldn't squat for longer than 30 seconds without falling over.

He said further studies were conducted on 240 school children and this found a person's ability to squat dropped off about the age of 12, when a "stiffness" set in.

Prof Rane said there was anecdotal evidence squatting could help improve bowel function, reduce the incidence of haemorrhoids and prevent bladder dysfunction in men and women.

Squatting could also help with prostate problems, he said.

"It should be encouraged, even if you don't want to use it for the purposes of toileting," Prof Rane said.

"People might think this is funny, but there's much to it than just fun, really."

A second study involving 500 people is planned for next year.

[Werwolf]

Originally Posted by Tyfon

from Herald Sun (amongst other places):

I find this IS funny.
The next study will begin in the Toilet of the Soi Eric
So all BM can take part for the study!!

for me: the squat position - only 3 (!!!) seconds - than........sh*****