Phuket

t0rn · #36 30-07-2005, 17:42

Came accross an electronic 'bum gun' in Dubai. It was positioned inside the rim of the toilet and had a control pad next to the toilet with directional buttons, hot/cold water options and best of all a fan to dry you off afterwards. Was very cool but took quite a long time to master

Denver · #37 30-07-2005, 18:05

The 'Squat 'n' Drop' method reminds me of a time at the Carlsberg Beer Festival in Nicosia, Cyprus ages ago. We had all had a skinfull of ale and some dodgy burgers. The stomach rumbles started and the queues at the Festival bogs were huge.

One of the lads had seen a row of toilets next to the stage area near to where the 'Acts' were getting ready, so feet tight, close together, buttocks clenched, we shuffled off like Charlie Chaplin. These bogs had saloon style pine slatted swing-wing doors and it seemed strange squatting over what seemed like a very small hole to aim at and seeing peoples feet as they walked past outside.

It was only then, mid dump that I looked up and saw the shower head in the ceiling, this shocked me enough to make me miss and yes, there was no Bum Gun either, it was a case of pull up and get out quick or pretend to have a shower and use it as a mega bum gun.

I chose to pull up, try my best to kick the ex-burger I had deposited around the little hole - into the hole and then shower it down, pick up my beer and scarper sharpish. I met all my mates at the back of the proper bog queue waiting to have a good swipe with some TP! A good night all in all!

swiftdave · #38 30-07-2005, 21:45

For the man who has everything, Can automatic car wash for your ass!!

http://www.sandman.com/intimst.html

faultytowers · #39 30-07-2005, 23:37

When in the Middle East I used a bum gun, but, only once. "Cold" water tank was actually outside the building, in 40 degree heat, water from bum gun suddenly was boiling hot. Loud screams and much cursing , I returned from the toilet walking like John Wayne. I have never trusted the bloody things since.

Denver · #40 31-07-2005, 03:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by faultytowers

When in the Middle East I used a bum gun, but, only once. "Cold" water tank was actually outside the building, in 40 degree heat, water from bum gun suddenly was boiling hot. Loud screams and much cursing , I returned from the toilet walking like John Wayne. I have never trusted the bloody things since.

Now that has got to hurt FT!

Our water tank is on the roof here (sometimes there is actually water in it!) I sometimes forget that the water coming out has been heated to photon torpedo - "she cannae take it nae more Cap'n" super steam heat (55 Degrees here today) and it's a great laugh looking at the skin thats peeled off your back lying in the bottom of the bath at your feet!

So.........has anyone got a simplistic (Idiots/Denvers) guide to actually using one of these bum guns? i.e. 1. Aim nozzle at your pot towel holder from the ???? (Front/back?) Please somebody - Enlighten me! We've got them here and it seems such a shame not to have a go!

JayBee · #41 31-07-2005, 05:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizbusta

There's 2 ways of using the "bum gun" (assumption is made that you are right-handed)...

1). Hold in right hand at the ready, squat down, move right hand behind back then down and under botty cheek, aim jet in general direction of muddy hoop and fire

2). Hold in left hand at the ready, squat down, move right hand behind back then down and under botty cheek, move left hand down in between legs at the front, aim jet in general direction of right hand (trying to avoid dangly bits) and fire, use right hand to deflect water on to muddy hoop

Have fun
Diz

First method preferred. I would have never thought of using a hand as a deflector. That would seem to make the whole procedure very similar to the squat and gourd method. I have shoved the hose past c*ck and balls and squirted directly on the target, holding the hose in my right hand, but the family jewels do get in the way a bit. Whereas when the hose is applied from the rear direction, then the balls serve nicely as a backstop for any errant spray, which doesn't feel bad at all, either!

One note of caution, when firing the spray directly at your target, as I always do, press very slowly on the lever to test the pressure before completely squeezing it. Because once in a while you get a hotel with really high water pressure, which can be a little rough on your ring, when applied full force!

JayBee

mini-ceegee · #42 31-07-2005, 06:49

you know this whole thread has gotten slightly disturbing..... but entertaining at the same time... just in my experience the bum gun really bloody hurts

Allybabba22 · #43 31-07-2005, 19:07

Thats funny because the only way I could possibly use the gun without making a mess of myself and the bathroom, Is by holding it in my right hand, Lifting my balls with my left, And then spraying from front to back.... And it works a treat, And more importantly theres no fu*king mess to clean up

Denver · #44 31-07-2005, 19:16

Fantastic advice from everyone. I couldn't wait to have a go.

I'm fcuking soaked (Must remember to pull the old family jewels to one side next time) and my boots are full of shitty water but hey, it was a laugh..................I will be having another go..............Thanks!

LivinLOS · #45 31-07-2005, 19:48

I am with Ali on this one... Tackle lift back firer..

You get so many people wanting to have them 'back home' its a wonder they havent spread more or been imported etc..

I only found out the other day that if I use the bathroom near the spare bedroom the pipe must run through the wall that catches the sun... first couple of secs normal cold water and then a gentle warming... Ahhhh relaxing..

ratpack1 · #46 31-07-2005, 19:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denver

Fantastic advice from everyone. I couldn't wait to have a go.

I'm fcuking soaked (Must remember to pull the old family jewels to one side next time) and my boots are full of shitty water but hey, it was a laugh..................I will be having another go..............Thanks!

sounds like its the only gun your having trouble with shooting den

Denver · #47 02-08-2005, 01:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratpack1

sounds like its the only gun your having trouble with shooting den

No problems with the other one Ratpack. I take it out everyday and give it a damn good polishing whether it needs it or not! My AK's looking good too!

I answered your PM Ratpack, hope it's what you needed. Be good.

Off to have another go with this bum gun, best fun I've had in minutes!