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#1
18-03-2005, 03:53
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Bum Cleaner
Hi
I am getting a new bathroom fitted soon and I want a bum washer. The little hosepipe you get in LOS, where can I buy one from, I will be in Phuket next week. Or even better can I get one posted back to the UK. How much are they. A strange request I know but they are a great little tool! Ta MuddyHoop ( Now you know where my name comes from) 
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#3
18-03-2005, 17:37
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 that little pipe has brought me more pleasure first thing in the morning after a heavy night than anything!it's great for getting rid of the morning after chilli fried ring piece
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gargle with something from a toilet |
#5
18-03-2005, 22:53
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I feel so uncivilized, but I didnt quite figure out how they get themselves cleaned up with just that? I mean they dont have any TP or anything....how do they get it all off?
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#6
18-03-2005, 23:58
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Hosing down
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Once you have mastered it, you just hose your starfish clean and then dab it with tissue to dry it. The western method is foul by comparison. You rub away at it with some tissue paper until most of the unwanted matter has stuck to the paper. Think about it - this is kind of like smearing and cannot possibly be as clean and hygienic as jetting it clean with water and then dabbing it dry with tissue. Another reason for this system is that masses of toilet paper can cause problems with septic tanks and this leads to a very malodorous affair! I love the bum gun. I don't know how well I would manage with a squat because if I understand correctly, you have to splash water from the gourd over your clacker while using your free hand to physically rub away the mess. If I have misunderstood the squat and gourd procedure, hopefully someone can put me right.
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#7
18-03-2005, 23:59
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you poke the hose up your ring a little way, then turn on the tap/faucett for a short time, or until you feel a little "full",
then pull it out sharply,then its "blast off basil"
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#8
19-03-2005, 00:29
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the power hose
the power hose
that's all well and good but when your **** is like a brake light and you've got the green apple splatters you don't want to be sticking a miny power washer near the ring Darbs 
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#9
19-03-2005, 01:04
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No names mentioned but one BM here prefers a LBs tongue to do the final clean around the ring
 
__________________
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Granddad Not screaming in fear like his passengers
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#10
19-03-2005, 01:12
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Quote:
I wonder who that is ????
__________________
Dirty Mike You can beat an egg, but you cant beat a wank.
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#11
19-03-2005, 01:13
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Quote:
Mmmmmm so do I 
__________________
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Granddad Not screaming in fear like his passengers
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the l/b lick
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#13
19-03-2005, 03:32
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Maybe it works better for them because they dont have much hair. I just cant see it being very effective.
I'll just have to try it next time, see how it works. Something to look forward to!
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#14
19-03-2005, 04:19
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Been over there a dozen times or more and never tried "the little hose pipe" Might give it a try soon as I'll be wet from Songkran anyway !
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If I have to explain it.Then you will never understand.
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#15
19-03-2005, 04:57
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My Fair Lady ???
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Oh No - 55555 is this question really from My Fair Lady movie What was the name of the guy who handled poor Eliza  -  At least there was some Higgins - maybe this was the guy dizbusta , You will have soon similar future Baltic
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#16
19-03-2005, 10:21
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clean it out
ok....you guys are classic....but seriously... dirty mike you recently had a tube stuck up you **** too clean out you lower bowls.. (I think you enjoyed this more than you let on??) . Their is a medical term for this procedure..but it escapes me at this moment....Is their a place in patong or near where this cleaning can be done...for health reason's only....bee kind guys
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#17
19-03-2005, 10:58
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I took me a long time to get comfortable with the bum gun.. now I wouldnt want to be without one..
Things to be carefull of are spraying the back of your T shirt down with it and also dabbing down dry so you dont look like you have poor bladder control on your shorts.. Theres disagreement amoung my lot as to whether you should be a backward front firer or a frontside back firer.. Personally its a tackle lift and back fire but I keep being told thats wrong !! The scoop system is one bridge too far for me.. Novice users can always do the begginer system of wipe spray wipe until they have it mastered.. As per the question they are available all over but they are not that durable (the plastic cheapies) so either buy a few for spares or get a quality / metal one..
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Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich. Last edited by LivinLOS : 19-03-2005 at 11:25.
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#18
19-03-2005, 13:11
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Dano I think the procedure is called a Barium Enema. I had it done 15 years ago to check out my bowels, not a nice thing to have done I did'nt enjoy it but Mike is Mike !
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If I have to explain it.Then you will never understand.
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#19
19-03-2005, 13:32
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Not seen anywhere on Phuket that does colonic irrigation but then I havent exactly been looking for the service..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#20
19-03-2005, 15:12
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Quote:
Hi Dano, As LivinLos says, it is a colonic bowel irrigation, and it is done by having a bucket of water being placed at a height of about eye level, then a tube comes from the water and gets pushed up your shitey pipe. Gravity then takes over, and your bum cavity fills up with water until you feel a gentle 'fullness' in your stomach. Relax your hoop and 'voila !' out comes the water, along with chunks of sludge from your inner hoop. Repeat the process many times, until you have swallowed the whole bucket, wipe your bum, and leave feeling totally refreshed If any of you are going to experiment with this (and i guess some of you will ) then DO NOT stick that hose pipe up your bum and turn it on. The water pressure is too much. Find a proper place that does it.I found a place on Koh Samui.
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Dirty Mike You can beat an egg, but you cant beat a wank.
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#22
19-03-2005, 15:33
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Its like a joke I remember from some daft old movie about a victorian heath spa..
Doc comes along.. Checks the notes and says "OK I am going to prescribe you 4 gallons of natural yoghurt a day"... Yikes says the patient.. I dont think I could possibly eat 4 gallons of yoghurt a day.. Ohh no says the Doctor.. Its not to be administered orally..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#23
19-03-2005, 15:40
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Theres a place in Rawai where you can stay, and every day flush your bum out with 15 litres (over three gallons) of coffee!
Its meant to be very beneficial?
__________________
"管它黑貓白貓，會抓老鼠的就是好貓"
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#24
19-03-2005, 16:08
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Sure would wake me the fcuk up in the morning !!!!
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#25
19-03-2005, 17:37
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Quote:
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