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#1
24-05-2005, 09:30
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the american(or any other country) dream
i just spent about 5 months in phuket and am heading back in a few weeks. my question is for the guys living there and thinking of living there. did or do you have any second thoughts about giving up the "american(your country) dream". getting married, staying close to your families, and living out a nice life in your own country. although i absolutely love thailand, i love my country too. and then theres the factor of such different cultures, which i like. all i am saying is it takes a great leap of faith to leave your country and go to a whole new scemario. i wish i had all the money in the world where i could have 2 residences and go back and forth. not that i think any of you guys planned it, but i look at the older divorcced guys that have been there, done it, have the kids with a little jealousy. its almost like they are getting 2 lifes. just a thought
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#2
24-05-2005, 10:22
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I am one of the been there, done that guys, as you know. But I think that it would be very difficult for an American to give up the American dream, unless things had gone so awry here, that you really needed to get out. Either that, or you are one of those people who felt like he never really fit in here. I think that there are people like that, who sensed that they never really fit in, and then they go somewhere else, and have an epiphany that that is the place where they feel like they fit in, and were always meant to be there.
Obviously, that doesn't describe you. I think that someday you will end up back in the US. But, maybe not, since LOS is very addictive, and there is certainly nothing wrong with settling down with a cute TG, and making a good life for yourself there. But that would surprise me in your case! At any rate, you are young, you have lots of time to figure out what is right for you. Enjoy! I think the main problem for you is going to be finding a woman in the US whose attitude can match that of the TGs, because when you get used to that kind of treatment, it is hard to go back to the other kind. However, I am sure that there are a few old-fashioned girls in the US, or you can always go the route of taking a TG back there, if you know she is the one for you. I don't see you being a butterfly all your life!  JayBee 
__________________
LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown. 
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#3
24-05-2005, 10:42
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It does take a leap of faith to leave ones country to settle down in a new one, but in my book it wouldn’t necessarily have to be a one-way ticket. You can always go back to your native country at any given time if you decide that’s the best thing to do.
Unless, of course, you have put yourself in a position where it is impossible to do so. People take off and leave for all kinds of reasons, and with different expectations for the new life they hope to get. Standing there on the verge to go, I think one will always have second thoughts unless absolutely clear on ones reasons for undertaking the adventure. I know that if or when I head off to another country to live and work there, it will most likely be for a definite period of time. At some point I’ll return. It’s not a conscious decision, just a gut feeling. As long as I’m happy, it doesn’t really matter where I live or what I do. That's my take on it for what it's worth.
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#4
24-05-2005, 11:23
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Me leap happened earlier in that we as a family moved all through my youth.. Then as a teen I was travelling and at about 19 never really went back..
I do miss the fact that I have no roots or home anymore but of all the world I have livind in SE Asia seems to fit me very well.. Certainly much more that Europe / UK.. Climate, food, girls, lifestyle, money needed to live here, all make this part of the world very very appealing to me..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#5
24-05-2005, 13:48
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Quote:
IJ
__________________
ROLL ON OCTOBER........
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#7
25-05-2005, 01:16
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well, i also think what you do for a living has a lot do with it. if you are in construction or blue collar work, i think it is easier to go back to your country after being gone for an extended period of time and get a job. in my profession, it would be more difficult going back and getting a job after not working for some time. as livinlos said, i really love the way of life in se asia. i think if i was to marry a tg, i would probably want to live in the states and holiday in LOS, with a look towards retirement there. i alos think its economics, if it was easier for a farang to work in thailand, i think that would make a difference
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#8
25-05-2005, 04:33
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Leaving the USA
I'm a year away from leaving, or so I think. I still don't know where I'll end up, though. Maybe Phuket. Maybe Bangkok, maybe northern Thailand. I don't feel as if I'm giving up the American dream, though. For me it's more for the adventure of it all. Let's face it, it can be fairly inexpensive to relax at the beach, eat Thai food, have fun with the girls. I can do it, so why not?
I can always come back. Rex 
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#9
25-05-2005, 04:55
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I think this question is more to do with expectation: 'Can I run against the tide here and do what I want to do rather than what everybody in my life who thinks they are entitled to an opinion thinks I should do?'
How disappointed will your Mom be? How jealous will your brother be? Can you cope with being the guy that does not conform to the stereotype? You have one life, you owe it to yourself to live it. If it gives your kids a few awkward moments at family functions it is a price worth paying. Let America live the American Dream; you should live your own. If it makes your family blush then so be it... 
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#10
25-05-2005, 05:50
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ya know what, i dont care about all the family issues, and i actually like marrying into a different culture. i guess for me it comes down to a financial desicion. do i stay in se asia and try to make a decent living with a great standard of living or do i stay in the west and make as much money as i can. in this past year i have learned to not value money as much as i use to, hence, no more bmw, loft apartment in nyc, and settle for smaller, lesser things, but i dont know if i can fully get away from the money is #1 attitude
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#12
25-05-2005, 05:57
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Hi Rex,
when I was 18 I was thinking about becoming a scuba diving instructor and then travelling around the world teaching scuba diving. While I am not the most adventurous eater and my language skills are not great, I have a real passion for scuba diving and am a pretty good underwater photographer. My Dad was all for it but my grandmother begged me not to do it so I didn't. 12 years later I decided to quit my profession and finally become a scuba instructor, moved from the east coast to California, and up until 2001 used to go on 3-4 trips a year and dive almost every weekend in California. I have finally started travelling again post 9/11 and have realised what I have missed. Follow your dream if you can afford to. Make sure you have a decent financial nest egg to fall back on and look into employment opportunities that you might be able to take advantage of while pursuing your dream. Don't do something on a shoestring as it will be hard to enjoy all that Thailand offers once you are hooked. Good luck.
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#13
25-05-2005, 08:43
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Quote:
To me it comes down to lifestyle you need cash to live I don't need a flash car and expensive villa but I do need an income and unless you have money invested or some other form of income the LOS dream is out the window it becomes short term, I'll take it for now but I admire the guys who have been able to get up there and make it work.
__________________
Always play to win!
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#14
25-05-2005, 09:06
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Quote:
If it was a lot easier for a farang to work in LOS, in no time at all the farangs would have the place all f*cked up, IMHO. You wouldn't even be able to find a decent BG for 2000 Baht. If they allowed us to buy property outright, w/ no restrictions, the farangs would just come in and take over the place.  (in the smiley, it is picture of farang with hammer, showing Thai what he would do it he could). I mean, who owns all the nice houses in Phuket now, as it is, even though you cn't buy them outright. Fortunately the Thais are not so stupid as to allow this to happen. 
__________________
LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown.
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#17
26-05-2005, 13:27
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The American Dream
Marc,
The American dream of having 2.5 kids, nice house, nice car, good job, watching TV about all the celebs and what they do just seems to me to be a bunch of shit. It's made up so we have to be a bunch of consumers who can't be happy without the coolest car and clothes or drugs to make us feel better. I see so much hopelessness in the states, so much drug and alchohol abuse and homeless people. I have seen more homeless people in LA. and SF in a supposedly first world country than I have seen in Thailand and Vietnam supposedly third world countries. I was really surprised when I went back after 3 years in HK to see all the adverts on TV for anti anxiety drugs it seems to me our culture in the states now says just take this drug and you will feel better. I remember seeing Vietnamese kids playing soccor in the street with the rain coming down and they were having a blast. Yes by our standards they were poor but they didn't have a media telling them that, they were happy. No, I now live in Thailand and I want to continue to live here and someday retire here.I don't need the fancy car or the huge house defitnately don't need 2.5 kids yet. Just someone who's attractive to me to hang with. Good friends to share a laugh and a drink and a job that I look forward to coming to everyday. I love golfing and hearing the caddie say "Suay Mak Mak" when I hit a good shot(very rare) Living in the states for me would be a huge letdown but would be fun to visit though. I hope your enjoying it there and hope you come back soon. Last edited by urtheman : 26-05-2005 at 17:34.
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#18
26-05-2005, 14:11
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You just nailed it...
When I was living in Europe (and making big $$) it was sooo superficial.. What you wore, what clubs you got into, the VIP lounge, the V-VIP lounge, all bullshit.. I still like my comforts, movies and a swimming pool are great to relax around but here its about relaxing and enjoyment rather than keep up with the joneses.. Also people here are all of the type who have travelled a bit and had the balls to get up and go somewhere so are much more likely to get to know ya and relate as people rather than what watch you are wearing.. I was thinking the other day how I have gone from wearing designer labels and brands to loose cotton shorts knocked up at the sewing shop for a pittance.. Dont give a **** what it looks like purely loose comfort culture.. Socks and underwear are items from my past..
__________________
Men have only 2 emotional states, hungry and horny.. So ladies, if you see me without an erection, make me a sandwich.
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#19
26-05-2005, 22:32
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see im on the fence. i agree with both of you, robert and sefton, but ive been so use to that that i cant seem to break away from it. i totally agree with you robert, that all of our supposedly 1st world countries sometimes dont have a clue about the real world and that the quality of life is much better in some of these "3rd world" countries. i guess both of you have been away from it long enough, where as i am only starting to convert. believe me, i still am planning to come back in a couple weeks, and am very happy when i am there, but when i am in the states, even with all the bullshit that we know that exists here, this fits too. i hope i am not too confusing.
p.s. sefton, i definitely get the socks and underwear thing, driving me nuts right now. may in boston is pretty nice weather, but wouldnt you know it, boston has had a noreaster, which is horrible, rainy, windy cold weather, record low temperatures for this time. i gues it was waiting for me
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#20
27-05-2005, 03:40
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Wow...a thread that strikes me with the urge to think...Oh to ponder on such thoughts of getting away.
Regarding how I feel about being in thailand. To me I am at home in thailand, my mind and body are more intune with each other and in general just more at ease, my monk friend has told me that my heart is thai...My sister says my previous life was in se asia....Now I don't know about any of that, all I do know is I miss her when I'm gone. I however have had to come to grips with the reality of my life, for my dreams must wait to be satisfied, I had children at a young age and have one remaining child to finish raising, she will be 13 very soon and I have her dreams to consider as well as my own, so for now and for the next so many years I will have to be satisfied by my trips and through my many friends. I wonder what happens to the fellows who show up in thailand with a modest bankroll...lets say 5-6 million bt he starts out and has enough brains to have a little business going, but continues to eat into his bankroll untill one day he finds himself almost broke and in need of making a visa run..but with lack of funds finds himself faced with using his return ticket or risked getting tossed out permanate...I know this happens...I just can't think of how hard it would be to come back...I'm not sure where that falls into all of this...but it floats in my mind about leaving... Robert..how would you deal with having to come back? I have no answers, I have only the same thoughts if I walk away from my career at this stage it will be hard to impossible to get it back, so I'm waiting and saving/investing doing everything I can to try and have enough to take that leap of faith, who knows if I will live long enough to reach my dreams, but I will enjoy my life along the way and try my best to one day know how it feels to live out your dreams. Good luck to Each of you in the pursuit of your dreams....
__________________
J.K. Livin Heywood
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#21
27-05-2005, 04:31
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Another slant
I dont' quite see things the way you guys see them.
Don't forget it was (for most of you) your Western society that provided you with the opportunity to live your dream in LOS. Western society, in spite of all its ills, seems to have a judicial system that can be questioned, it has provided the drugs and medicines that you use when you are ill, it (sometimes not vey well) tries to help the people who cannot help themselves. It has provided the planes, ships, transport etc that has enabled you to get to LOS in the first place. Also it provided the money and resources to help the countries devasted by the Boxing day Tsunami. Most importantly for me, it will be providing me with a stable investment base that will allow me to live in LOS and support my tirak and have a comfortable life. So, while there are many things that Western society does poorly there are also some things that it does well. Steve
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#22
27-05-2005, 05:19
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Only speaking for myself...but I dont have an "American Dream" or any other country specific dream...only "Frasers Dream" (my name is Fraser
)....To me the country does not really matter as long as I can accomplish/have what I want (or as much as possible, obviously you have to weigh up the pros/cons)..For me its a nice place with a private pool and sunshine....then the other things are the local must not be too under developed or unsafe, or expensive!! Ive mentioned before ive never been to Thailland yet so ive still to see if its really a place for me...but from my extensive research so far, its a main contender... Also, im in a wheelchair......I will need someone to assist me in the future and the cost of paying someone in Thailand is a major major bonus, I could live in Thailand and pay someone for an entire year compared for just the wages I would need to pay out in the UK (someone live in would cost me like 1 600 000 Baht+ a year) (tax is a huge issue also). Thankfully, my parents are leaving me enough that while I still need to budget, I should not need to earn any more income as long as I live (as long as I live somewhere where the tax/assistant wages are not so big as they slowly eat into my funds).
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#23
27-05-2005, 05:57
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like i guess it comes down to finances in the end. i know someone over here, who intoduced me to tthailand that could live off of 40000baht/mo over in thailand. i, however could not. i think i could stay within a reasonable budget, but i dont want to. thats me, i want to go out and do what i want, when i want, within reason.
for soemone who needs assistance, or an older guy on social security, i couldnt think of a better place to be because of the costs and how easily and cheap it is to hire people in thailand. right now i am paying a girl for a month to take care of my dog over in phuket for what id pay to have him walked in nyc for just 2 days
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#24
27-05-2005, 06:19
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I agree, all comes down to finances really along with the life style you wish to have...When your brought up having X Y or Z, its hard to give it all up. The whole point in me moving somewhere like Thailand is having more and a better lifestyle overall than what I have now...else I would not go. While Materialism in the world might have gone too far in some cases, im not a monk who can be happy with nothing but the clothes on my back and meditating all day long.
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