bm's with kids? a question?

[marc26]

when i come home to the states, i split my time between boston and nyc. when i am in boston i stay with my sister, whos 10 years older than me. i can not imagine a closer relationship between a brother and sister. i come from a big family, im the baby of 7 kids.
anyways, now the question. i have 10 nephews(no girls in the family, that 1st little girl is gonna be spoiled!). the 2 nephews im staying with now are my favorites, i know you shouldnt pick favorites.
they are 6 and 9. they leave anything they touch out. if they are eating something, when they are done they just leave the plate,glass, whatever, wherever they were eating. toys, if they are playing with them, never put them back. they take off their clothes, shoes and leave them all over the house. i guess they are use to my sister picking them up.
i cant remember if my mom did that too or made me pick up. is this common or are you more strict with the kids?

[Dodger]

My two boys were like that and I found I just had to be strict, but things do not change much they are now nearly 21 & 19 and most days dad has to remind them to hang up or put something away.

I initially thought it was a now thing and kids didn't do that in my day, but they did. I think its a individual character thing to be untidy, a lazy thing and if mum clears up after them they just keep on doing it. My oldest had a habit of leaving shoes at the bottom of the stairs next to but not in the shoe cupboard. I moaned, hid the shoes, threw them outside everytime I found them to over emphasise my point, never made any difference. He's got better but its still one of his little things, does he do it on purpose, does he do it just to wind me up/ nope its just one of his things, he probably has come to the conclusion its just one of my little things.

I will be interested to see how he is when he gets his own place.

[marc26]

i was a total momma's boy,my mom did everything, but this kids just leave everything for their mom to pick up.amazing

[swiftdave]

I have two girls, 11 and 15. I find myself saying the same things to them my dad said to me. Guess he wasn't so bad afterall.

[DARBS]

not in my House . my boy takes after his mum
every morning he will go and get his cloths he had on the day before
and his old nappy take it down stairs put the washing in the washing basket and the nappy and nappy sack in the bin amazing he's only 19 months old
he puts all his toys away and turns his dvd player of when we tell him its bed time
he even put my car keys in the Bin the other day! little gitt

not all good news , he doesn't sleep so he's up until 11.30 /12 at night
and awake with me at 5 every morning . I must bring back some valium from LOS

[steve@thaib]

I find a lot of similarities between children and women (god job the rep point system is not in action, a few 'reds' for that I think!). All they are doing is trying to find the boundaries and then testing them.

Your lady may believe it is an act of love and understanding to clean up after her kids constantly, but until she stops doing it they will just make more work for her.

My boy is 14, he only stays with me at weekends and he drives his Mum nuts in the week; he won't do anything around the house at all and she often moans to me about it (she could try telling someone who gives a shit)

When he is with me at the weekends he is just a pleasant young man, if there are things to do he does them with little complaint. I think that he has worked out, whether consciously or not, what he can and cannot get away with.

I also think that there is sometimes an increasing desparation in women to hang onto their 'baby', and as the kids get older her role is less and less important in their lives, so they will let the kid get away with more rather than feel like they are busting his balls all the time.

[erik1]

Originally Posted by steve@thaib

I find a lot of similarities between children and women (god job the rep point system is not in action, a few 'reds' for that I think!). All they are doing is trying to find the boundaries and then testing them.

Your lady may believe it is an act of love and understanding to clean up after her kids constantly, but until she stops doing it they will just make more work for her.

My boy is 14, he only stays with me at weekends and he drives his Mum nuts in the week; he won't do anything around the house at all and she often moans to me about it (she could try telling someone who gives a shit)

When he is with me at the weekends he is just a pleasant young man, if there are things to do he does them with little complaint. I think that he has worked out, whether consciously or not, what he can and cannot get away with.

I also think that there is sometimes an increasing desparation in women to hang onto their 'baby', and as the kids get older her role is less and less important in their lives, so they will let the kid get away with more rather than feel like they are busting his balls all the time.

It is all about setting boundaries and sticking to them. And even then they will allways try to stretch them just that little bit further? Am I a parent? No
But I do have a teachers degree and work with young starting models (m and f) a lot and they are all the same

[dawsey]

My two girls are like chalk and cheese

One will readily tidy up after herself ,but the other is as lazy and untidy as sin.

I have found that shouting,arguing and generally telling them what to do does not work.

All things were tried with the untidy one until she found boys

That was the solution for her and is now pretty good.

Personally,as a parent,I think when the children are young you have to set your own rules as to what is and isn't acceptable and make sure the kids stick to them.

Denying them the things they enjoys is the best way,for me, to punish them as I'm not an advocate of Mr Slap.

But every parent will have their own way of dealing with untidy kids and who is to say whose method is best