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#1
02-08-2005, 09:14
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Fallen in love with a Thai girl who wasn't a BG?
Hey Guys,
The older post below gave me a thought: We all have some experience with the lovely Bar Girls of Thailand AKA The Miss Issan Pagaent. But have any of you met an educated, middle or upper-class Thai and fallen in love with her? What's your story? Recently, I posted here about my experience with a non-BG. steve@thaib suggested I repost in a new post, so here you go. This, along with other info about my history with a cute, but very jealous Thai lady. I wrote: Quote:
I had put out a Yahoo Personal ad here in San Francisco seeking local girls. My ad somehow showed up in The Bangkok Post. I got one hit, "I saw your ad in the Bangkok Post. I don't know if you'd like to know a nice lady from Thailand." WTF???!!@#$%@%. So I wrote to her, for like, a year, you know--getting to know each other and only flirting subtly. I got a picture: a 32 year old cutie, never married, and no kids. I was wary of her, she's a stranger - you have to be careful. But no money was ever asked for, no bank account numbers exchanged. She passes Test 1. Maybe she's for real? I doubt it, but I'm having fun flirting. I told her the next time I'd be in Japan, I'll make a stop-over in BKK. So I did about 1 year and 3 months after first meeting online. She shows up on the lobby of the Novotel on a bright morning, looking sporty in a white top and denims. Cute! Here is where she took me on our first "date". You might catch a glimpse of her looking cool with the Jackie O sunglasses. Sadly, I learn by the end of this date that she's not into me, no lovin', but would be happy to show me around BKK and even go to Hua Hin or Cha Am with her (separate beds!). She wanted to pay her way at the resort. On our many dates, she always wants to split the bill - she doesn't always succeed, but sometimes she trumped me! No lovin' still, but wait--she's delightful, cute, speaks English well (previous Farang beaus, as she admits), college educated (BA) and just quit an office job (where, unfortunately, she was getting harrassed). So, I'm waiting for her at the resort for a day because she had some commitment. She shows up and announces a change of heart - then nearly attacks me. Ah yeah! I rip up my plane ticket and stay 5 more days with her in paradise, then back in BKK. She puts me up well away from the bad girls of Sukhumvit at the Sofitel by the Airport. Smart girl. She wants no money, it's not that kind of thing and would've totally inappropriate. I wonder if there aren't ulterior motives, but before long, I'm flying home anyway. Within 6 months, I'm back again. Since I'm in Japan again, i think--what the hell. So we hook up again. She wants to go on a long weekend with me and - OH NO - picks Pattaya for some reason. Actually, though, it was fun! The BG's mostly stayed away and were cool to her. Plus, we stayed in the Royal Cliff Resort on the 18th floor or something, so we were livin' large, but outta the action. She's amazingly good at keeping me away from the ladies of a questionable nature. We have a blast and get along very well. The following trip a year later started off badly: accused of cheating on the 2nd day. She has the key to my room, so no way would I bring a girl into that room. She may have paid off the bellboys to keep an eye on me. I come back from the Internet Cafe and she's waiting for me in the business suit and the death stare in full-effect, "You cheat on me!" "Nope. Didn't Happen. That's YOUR black hair on the bed.  I was just sitting here watching CNN and drinking a beer. (More Stares with those black eyes). Yes, really" Oh man, that was painful. Set a bad precedent for the trip. And I was totally innocent! But screw it, it's SONGKRAN baby. So, most all is forgotten after the Mr. Pompooee gets nailed for two days with the sacred water. We are still having fun, no need to chase other girlies about. I'm fine and shooting lots of video. She admits never wanting to live in the U.S. and needs a guy to commit to live in BKK. "Not sure I can do that", I say. Again, I'm home. 2 years pass. I write a book and do a little teaching. Too low a budget to travel. My Japan teaching gravy-train ends about that time too. But I keep in contact on a monthly basis by calling her on the cell and dropping emails. She always greets me very kindly. Looking for some way to see her again. I do a 9 month contract and sock away some dough. As soon as they cut me loose, I'm going to BKK, then to Phuket or Samui - take the gal if possible, then back to BKK. I see her only 3 times, and no trip to Phuket for her, but it's just like old times in BKK. She's very cool and asks me very few questions about where I've gone or who I've been with. She got jealous when she hears about Dr. V, the Vet from Phuket City I admitted to snorkeling with on Ko Phi Phi, but that's her nature. So this recent trip marks 4 trips to LOS and 5 years of knowing this wonderful lady. I've now been to BKK 4 times to see her. And I'll be back. I finally got her to look into a Visa, so she can come and see me. She works at a well-known U.S. company, so she may slug it out there until she can get it. As you may know, it's very difficult to bring a Thai citizen into the U.S. for even a vacation. It can take 6-11 months to pull off. Well, that's the story of one gal I fell in love with, anyway. Not sure what to do, now that I've known the pleasures of Phuket.   Dr. V - Issan Gal - Animal Doc
__________________
Nid Noy is your partner in crime! 
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#2
02-08-2005, 11:34
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Interesting story, Nid Noy!!
I can really relate to several aspects: 1)being accused of cheating when you didn't! They sure can get jealous over nothing, and won't believe anything you say! Really crazy stuff! 2)Being an American sure is a drawback when you sould like to bring a girl to the US. If she is a BG, it pretty much requires a "fiance" visa, and marriage is not a subject to bring up lightly with a TG! I am so jealous of these Euro guys who can just bring back a girl for a few months whenever they feel like doing so. 3) BKK girls always want to get out of the city and for some reason, they suggest Pattaya! Happened to me twice! Weird! If I was a woman, that is the last place in the world I would want to bring a BF. But, back to your story. If you really want to get serious with the girl, go for it. Be perseverant and get her into the US, see how it goes! I happen to live in Marin County. If there is anyplace in the US, that a BG from BKK would like, then I think it is SF or the East Bay(the East Bay is warmer), because there are loads of Thais here that she could hook up with and not feel isolated from her culture and her people. She may be surprised to find out that she really likes it here. I go to the Thai Wat(Buddhist temple) in Bekeley on Sundays. There are lots of Thai people there and they really have a strong community! I have met several guys there who have Thai GFs, and some ladies with Thai BFs, also. It is a little slice of LOS in the East Bay. On Sunday, the outdoor restaurant they set up there makes you feel like you are back in BKK!! As far as Phuket, it is great and all. It is just a question of whether you want to spend 95% of your life alone in SF, for the 5% of fantasy life of sleeping with the everchanging parade of BGs, or whether you think that you could be happy with one girl. That really is a question that gets down to 1)who you are and what really makes you happy, and 2)how much do you love her? Only you can answer those questions!! JayBee 
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LOS is warm, soft, smooth, and brown. 
Last edited by JayBee : 02-08-2005 at 11:45.
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#3
02-08-2005, 14:46
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Warning - Quicktime Alert!!!!
The first post of this thread contains a link labelled "on our first date" to http://www.r0bp0ngi.c0m/pages/c0mboG0LDENPALACE.html (I have deliberately mangled the URLto make it 'safe'.
This webpage will, without asking, attempt to install a quicktime app called qttask.exe which places a QT logo in your system tray - there is no uninstall or quit option with this app and no access to preferences to disable it. It does not appear in the add or remove programs list. I had to: 1) stop the process qttask.exe with task manager. 2) delete the folder c:/program files/quicktime (YMMV as to location - search for qttask.exe) 3) manually remove all keys to qttask using regedit (searched for qttask.exe and removed entire apple key along with two other keys, on in the local machine's run on startup area - HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Windows\Curr entVersion\Run) Needless to say editing the registry is not for the novices. It makes me sick that Crapple produce this kind of underhanded shit and resort to spyware techniques to sneak it past users! K.
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#4
02-08-2005, 15:57
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Sorry about that Tyfon. I'm a die hard Mac dude, coming from 'tino and rocking on Final Cut exceptionally hard, I just assume that QT is a "given". If'n the QT install is too harsh coming from www.robpongi.com, just go ahead and install it from www.apple.com. C'mon, you windows dudes must take advantage of H.264 no?
With QT, not only can you see my first date with Miss Thai X, but you can also peruse the well over 100 videos of wacked Japan-o-phile vids made by none other than Mr. Rob Pongi. My Tokyo partner in crime. He actually made #2 of the coolest "subculture" thangs on page 53 of the recent Rolling Stone Mag. The Jessica Alba edtition, my children! The man is sick though, oh so very sick!  More of the "PONGI" sickness is located here.
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Nid Noy is your partner in crime! Last edited by Nid Noy : 02-08-2005 at 16:10.
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#6
02-08-2005, 16:39
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"You cheat on me!" is a classic 'angry Thai lady' line. Maybe they just accuse you of it when they are angry in a sort of 'general' way on the grounds that you must have done something, it does seem to happen a lot though.
Personally, I'm a believer in these relationships, though I do know first hand how hard it can be to make them work. My experience is more your sort of bottom end of the market, basic kind of a girl. Me being a basic kind of a guy though means that this is no big deal. It's a subject that seems to get kicked around a lot on the board, and you will find many strong opinions here. I think that the best way forward is to be as tolerant and understanding as you can while not putting up with too much siht. The more you take the more they will give, so draw your lines and don't allow them to be crossed. And just a slightly off topic note for Jaybee: 'perseverant' is that a real word?
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#7
02-08-2005, 18:05
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Well, I will talk to you about my own experience... it is very fresh as it was last night.
I had a non bg gf, I met her on Internet last Sept and met her in real life last Feb. We have had some weeks really perfect and it was so great in bed. I bought her many things, then I sent her money from Belgium, for computer, driving license, english courses, etc... Finally, I said to her that I didn't want that our relationship were based on money, so she said "ok, i love you, not you money, i will not ask anymore" and she didn't ask me anymore. As many of you know, I plan to move to Phuket next month, but yesterday, she told me that she has a new BF for 5 weeks... I guess because I didn't send her money anymore (she asked more and more, till a car) Right now, I feel really bad, as if the sky felt on my head. I was so drunk, sad and angry last night that I sent an email to her work, maybe the biggest hotel of Phuket, to explain that I didn't understand they employed people like that... if it was now, I wouldn't do that but too late... Now she get troubles at work and her 2 best friends asked me why I did that. I feel desperate, sad, mad... f*cking life. BG or non BG, a Thai girl works for money, her relationships are based on money... money money money. Sorry guys, I feel lost today and my words are not very clear.. but an angel can also be a devil 
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Domi Last edited by domifletch : 12-08-2005 at 08:01.
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#9
02-08-2005, 18:38
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domi,
I'm sorry to hear about what happened there. Its such a difficult thing to deal with the cultural difference where money and love are so intertwined with the thais. But they would not accept her taking on a second boyfriend just to make up for a financial loss (since she was not a bg that is). What she did was wrong, regardless of the culture. Good luck to you. Don't let it get you too down, there are many people that are truly jai dee (kindhearted) out there. We just have to take our chances in order find them. Better that you learn this now rather than later, too bad you did not find out sooner though. Although it did sound like it was good while it lasted.
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#10
02-08-2005, 23:34
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Quote:
I agree, let us not forget that no matter what the circumstance relationships can and most often are a big puzzle, why does one go one way and the next another....because its people your dealing with. I have to admit I find that I question my relationships much less now that I am older. I found that holding on tightly always ends badly, its all about balance with me. The answers lie somewhere in between here and there, which means there is no real answer at all. It is one of those things just is the way that it is and to me accepting the facts as they are make it a little easier to go from day to day....No one knows the outcome so taking a chance is the only way to find out what will be...if you are so inclined to try your hand at finding the "one". My personal views are that the notion of there being a "one" is only a myth and nothing more. Maybe there is the "one" that I let get closer than the others in my heart, but life goes on and so we continue our search. Women are one of the most facinating creatures on earth, I think the most interesting people I have met have been women. I've met women who have survived some incredible events and dealt with more tragic milestones than most men could indure....No wonder we spend most of our lives chasing them around the world...isn't life grand. Best of luck to the heros and fools of this world who still believe in love.
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J.K. Livin Heywood
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#11
02-08-2005, 23:45
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My story
Quote:
I met my wife in Phuket, while I lived there. We both were members of the same health/exercise club, and after my seeing her for a few months at this health/exercise club on and off, I finally decided to ask her out. We dated on a plutonic basis for over a year. I was getting laid regularly by the various "Miss Issan Pagaent" BGs, so why rush into a sexual relationshp with a regular TG? Frankly, I had no intention of getting hitched, and I fully believed in the philosophy that P4P is to pay the lass to leave, and not so much to stay. The one thing I liked immediately then about my wife (who was my purely plutonic Thai GF at the time) was she could hold a good conversation with me. She had an engineering degree, and a masters of business administration. She was witty, bright, and fun to be with. We could explore all sorts of different topics, and have a fascinating conversation, that we could easily pick up and continue next time we met. We went on a few overnight Thailand trips together, but despite hints from her, I always kept it Plutonic, as I didn't want the committment of anything long term. Finally, I moved to Germany. My Thai GF flew out, at her expense, to visit me a few times. I finally came to the realization how much I felt for her, and asked her to move out here and stay with me. It took her a long time (over a year) to decide to move out and join me. She spoke excellent English and Thai, and not German, so it would be (and was and still is) very difficult for her to find the same sort of work here, that she can get in Thailand. She left behind all her friends, her culture, her relatives, and an excellent job. Why? ... To stay with a procrastinating jerk like me. Now that I am a member of her family, I find I am probably the poorest member of the family. Perhaps that makes her upper class, or maybe that makes me lower class. I guess its all relative. I consider myself lucky, and let me say for the cynics (like I used to be), not all TG are after your money.
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#12
02-08-2005, 23:49
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To domifletch
I am sorry to read about this.I hope your heart is mended quickly.
At least she was honest with you...not to defend her in anyway. I know this is hard,but try to remember the good things between you and her. It might do you some good in the long run. Keep your head up. 7 Last edited by seven : 02-08-2005 at 23:52.
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#13
02-08-2005, 23:50
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Thanks for the warning
Quote:
Sometimes there can be advantages of being a little bit different from the crowd. Last edited by void : 02-08-2005 at 23:54.
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#14
02-08-2005, 23:52
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hi domifletch
really sorry of what happened. i guess you haven't found the right one yet, or maybe this person isn't right for you. surely you deserve someone better. just that revenge maybe sweet, but it doesn't change things. don't sink to the same level as the other person as it would only make you bitter. i know it's easier said than done. hopefully time will heal your wound.
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#15
03-08-2005, 00:15
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Thanks a lot mates, you don't know how your words help me. I guess the only problem is to have said her that I was temporarly in shit... why she did that? Really hard for me now, I need a little time. She was the person I counted on to start a new life, now I don't know. I really thought have found the right one, finally not.
To write to her hotel was not a good idea, now I have many regrets. I talked to her friends and to her today... she needs to change job now as she lost face and reputation, they say ... I could send another email to the Trisara to say I was drunk and I had over-reacted, but don't know what to say exactly. I definitively know now that TG, BG or not, are only looking for money, although they speak about love... her best friend told me that today Feel no good at all now... 
__________________
Domi
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#16
03-08-2005, 01:37
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I always liked the irony in Oscar Wildes quote:
"Women only ever marry for love - but they are first clever enough to fall in love with a rich man." - or something like that....
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#17
03-08-2005, 02:01
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Quote:
Or Mrs Merton interviewing Debbie Maghee (an attractive young blond girl married to an ageing, fading 'magician') ..... 'so tell me Debbie, what was it that first attracted you to multi-millionaire Paul Daniels?' I'm not a total cynic, personally, but I am realistic enough to believe that my attractiveness to women ebbs and flows at roughly the same rate as my bank balance, and I don't mean just Thai women. Chin up Domi, at least you found out before doing something really serious like marrying her...
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#18
03-08-2005, 06:48
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Domi,
Sorry to hear about what happened. Try not to get to disheartened. Not all thai girls are in it for the money. If they are young nd very beutiful, then your chances of finding a girl only looking for love is a lot less, then meeting a 35 yr old for example. I know you will bounce back from this, and never regret moving to LOS.
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#19
03-08-2005, 06:56
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Hi Dom,
When you move to LOS you will be able to be with someone that you find while you are there 100% and she will know what she is getting and you will know what you are getting and everythin will be out in the open. No secrets, she will realise you are committed to a life in LOS and to be with her if all works out. There are plenty of women looking for a nice guy and it is beeter you found out now then after you committed to moving to LOS to be with her. Hope it all works out for you. Good luck!
__________________
variety is the spice of life. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. Mav's a hasher, not a basher, Tell me it ain't so! Mav, he sits on ice, says it feels nice, enjoyed it so much, he did it twice.
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#20
03-08-2005, 07:09
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The Coast is Clear Now
Quote:
Good for you. You finally came to your senses. But Ouch! OUUUCH! That's gotta sting. At least you're not down the thousands of euros it takes to buy a small car in Thailand. Pat yourself on the back there. I'd say, move to Phuket for awhile anyway. There are many charming gals you could meet. And you've already learned the hardest lesson of all, no? Keep your valuables in your safe, if you have one. If you find a non-BG, I guess a way you can rate if they're true is if they never ask for big money and just want to know you. That is entirely possible. In my case, that's absolutely true. For instance, on my trip to Ko Phi Phi, I went snorkeling with the lovely Dr. V, only 24 years old. She spent the whole day with me just hangin' out. Had lunch with her mom and sis. It was really cool. At the end of the day, she asked for my contact info. SWEET. So, I think you can meet a good lady out there. The internet's probably not the best place, I think I just lucked out on that one randomly, like, more than 5 years ago. Quote:
I don't think that's absolutely true, but I see your point. You got nailed to the cross dude. Quote:
Cheer up ol' boy. You'll be into it up to your neck in no time.
__________________
Nid Noy is your partner in crime!
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