Two new chemical elements

[sting]

Two new chemical elements have recently been discovered. Here for the first time is a description of their properties.

Element Name: WOMAN
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Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity to gold,silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element Name: MAN
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Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature,but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (Element:Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.
* Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell

[mikegb]

Priceless amigo!


There is a program on TV in England at the moment, and it is following 4 men who are looking to get a girlfriend/wife from another country. 2 men are in Russia, and the other 2 men are in Pattaya!!! Out of the 2 men in Pattaya, one of them lives about 2km from me!!! I dont know him, but him and his friend are a couple of thick shits. They are so stupid. One man has been in Pattaya for 1 week and never had a shag yet!! He is looking for a 'proper' Thai girl. NOT a bar girl. Well, I think he is looking in the wrong place He waited for 2 hours in the hotel reception for a girl to turn up. She never showed. They are looking for a wife to take back to England.
How can people be so stupid to think they can go on holiday, and pick a complete stranger as a wife, like taking a tin of beans from the supermarket? No wonder people get ripped off in the Land of Smiles.

I will keep you informed as to what happens to these thick shits.

For people in the UK, the programme is on Channel 4 on Friday nights at around 11pm