Nationalities

[are]

Just thought it would be fun to have a little storry:


On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, and another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a
restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true
nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the
necessity of fulfillment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.


Are

[mikegb]

Thnxs Are,

I like that. It is 100% correct about the English and the Irish, but the strange thing is that when I have met Irish people on holiday etc. they are ALWAYS great fun. Why we have the trouble between the 2 countries is beyond me.

Keep the stories coming

I was admonished and deleted for speaking the unpopular truth about a particular nationality! When it comes around to bashing my people that seems to be O.K. Lets see how this one comes to pass

Do I detect some anti-americanism is permitted?

[mikegb]

Jimmy,
I have always got on with you, but you are going too far. All the crap had settled down and YOU are determined to drag it out again. You have even had a pop at Nicke, and he is just trying to be fair to all of us.

You just asked him - "Has your new friend been to your bar yet?". Now who is the one who is sniping?
Your true colours are coming through now. You wont let things lie. In your eyes, Schmeen is totally wrong and you want everyone to say so, and for him to be kicked off the board. Well, the truth might hurt, but he spoke a lot of it, and recently your posts have been little more than incoherent ramblings with multiple postings of the same old photos.
When Eric The Viking started about diving, you started to put some informative posts on about cameras to use etc, and I thought, 'Great, he is back to posting normal stuff again', but you had another go at Schmeen, and then you have got your back up again because Are from Norway put a very funny joke on WHICH NEVER ONCE INSULTED AMERICA!!!!!!

You're losing it man. Bigstyle. This anger and desperate need for revenge will eat away at you. Let it go or you will just drive yourself nuts over it

[are]

Now, calm down boys!

Just have fun with the stoyr for fxxx sake!

[JOHN]

Jimmy,
I am not a prolific poster to this this forum, but i lurk a bit and obviously read all posts.
I am not an American basher, in fact i will i will go on record as saying that they are one of the finest nations on earth, and my little patch of earth (the uk) know deep down the debt we owe to the USA for past services rendered.
It is in many quarters unfashionable to say (especially with the current Gulf problem) that you support the USA, this comes in my country from the liberal left who do not even support their own countrymen, rightly or wrongly who are involved in the current conflict.
I do not want to get too political as i know Nicke has made his views clear regarding that department, but i would like to say,
i do think your views are often bordering on the paronoiac, they can be a red rag to a bull to anyone with a contrary opinion.
I feel you are a sincere guy who is genuinely frustrated by the treatment your country gets meeted out when your countrymen are laying their lives on the line.
You are obviously a patriot to your country and can hold your head up high, but please remember not everyone will share your views, democracy = the right to choose, agree to differ and do what you do so well, that is sharing your knowledge of Patong with the board, no matter how frustrating it can be to feel the need to let off steam occasionally, we IMHO should be brothers whatever our political differences.
I hope i have not offended you, that is not my intention, you genuinely have my respect and one sunny day in Patong i hope i will be able to tell you personanally, stay proud but be understanding.

John.

Paranoid....Not in the slightest...
Hell, Nicke's board calls me Al Jezeera Jimmy....Voice of the Arab Terror World! What should I be paranoid about....
Just some Yanks, Brits and Aussies looking to smoke their backside. Al Jizzie that is.
Love to meet up for a beer! What did you have in mind for a bar,
I heard the Pig and Whistle over on Soi Sea Pearl is fine joint! Flying many flags and being true to the flags they fly!
How long will the Lady Boys be under attack???? I do admit to needing a wingman for my first sorte down Soi Cockadildo....Only if the Duke of Dirt can assure me that you have a true heart and keep the likes of them out of reach of my short arm. Arr 4/7 Next Monday...Don't you say now! I trust you'll be on duty for the play water night!
Send me a PM from Patong....I keep a Thailand Mobile Number whice I'll pass on to you at the proper moment. That would be after my super sluth friends from the U.S. Military check out your ISP to make sure you're not an imposter! Boy do they have the goods on a few soon to be named...Sat/Maps on of some residences.....I'll be back to you! Don't bring any Don't bring a nonbelivers ....Hell, by then the Mayor of Baghdad will be the son of a fine gent from Scotland Yard! Or better the nephew of Bertie Ahern! I hear that the Ausies will be sending an Abo Lawyer who speaks camel, some things never stop amazing me!

P.S. Don't bring any Fair Weather Friends...we've too many here!

[Hobbsy]

lol

that joke takes a pop at EVERY nationality and they are all funny.

Get a life if you are genuinely offended.

Now, i am far too experienced in these message board conflicts and have witnessed hundreds of flame wars (once being an avid online-gamer which took up far too much time and money and beleive me gaming stokes up a lot of aggression) and i was involved in my fair share. But....BUT... i soon realised that they are rarely resolved to either parties satisfaction and really, truly, honestly not worth the bother.


and that last message genuinely fits the catagory of
'incoherent rambling' as previously mentioned.

I wish it was a joke coz it would be quite funny instead of weirdly scary

[JOHN]

Jimmy,
Sorry no can do 4/7, back in Thailand/Patong late September until end of October, work and finances have conspired to make me wait until then.
Speaking of Soi Sea Pearl i have heard that there is a karaoke bar somewhere near, is this so? I was taken to one after the bars closed a couple of miles out of Patong, i was the only westerner in there, the songs and screen lyrics were all in Thai so i could not understand a word that was being sung, but the ladies were angelic singers and i was made to feel welcome even though i stuck out like a sore thumb, left about 6am and it is one of my favourite memories of Phuket. I should imagine if there is one on Sea Pearl it will be more touristy but would like to check it out.
Soi Cockadildo.... better take a squadron, never got beyond the first bar, realised where i was then bailed out, nothing against the ladyboys and i would have no problem sinking a few beers there in company but not really my scene solo.

John.

[are]

Hi people!

In danger of create more anger I point out that this is just a joke - as teh previous story as well. Hope you see the humor in this

US of A is for the time much in media and this is a product of the latest events....

Pretty Good Map.....Could use a little more of the Stars and Stripes, say on the coutries that couldn't get along so well without
out our benevolently enlightened humanitarianism. America does practice antidisestablishmenttarianism.

Did a little digi magic and got a good zoom in on his map.
Hope you all enjoy.....Bon Jour, French Suffer Iraqi War Casuality......A French Comando from the revered Beaujoulis Guard suffered a broken leg while trying to climb on the coalition bandwagon!